Quote:
I've been reading PUA lit casually for about 4/5 months, though when I'm in field (house parties, social gatherings etc) I tend to forget all about PUA and adopt an AFC mindset.
Can anyone recommend a way to think like a PUA in terms of having a method in my mind at all times?
I tend to think of game scarcely when out and when I do it will randomly be an idea such as Qualification, instead of thinking about things pragmatically during the entire pick up.
Any help would be appreciated.
Hi man!
Ok, to be honest, i dont understand 'pragmatically', but trying to understand the context, i think you mean it like concrete stuff to do /say during pickup.
Well, i had the same problem when i started out. PUA was a full time hobby of mine. I read a lot, reflected a lot, went out a lot and tried a lot. In the beginning, i felt the same. I was trying to do some routines, things, tricks etc. I felt like a total loser doing stuff like that. I forgot most, but i did had a little feeling of improvement. It seemed like a lot is happening already if you just have the balls to approach.
I went this far to write little notes i kept in my wallet when i went out. Just stuff to say, you know, things i had come up with while thinking about the material i read or just plain canned material. I would read it walking between bars and clubs.
But i realized soon enough that the canned material does not get you far. the only place you gonna get with canned material is the approach, because you have this fake feeling of confidence because you will be able to say something and you also think that what you are going to say will be some kind of magic bullet, because you read it in a book by some dude claiming to have discovered the riddle that makes seduction.
You need to start thinking in contexts and larger concepts, and actually that is what you did already. You think in ways like: qualify. That is good, that is actually the way to go, but see it a bit larger.
Qualification is actually something you need in your entire life, together with a large portion of honesty, especially towards yourself. Help me inflict some self-reflection on you:
What is it you really want? Do you want a good long term relationship? If so, what kind of woman do you want? Do you want her to be romantic, adventurous, curious, humorous, whatever? Its important to know, because you need to qualify on what it is you are looking for. Dont use qualification as a PUA trick, because it sucks as a PUA trick.
you want to fuck? If you want to fuck, do you think it matters if you go to your 'target' and ask her an opinion? You can throw all canned material away if you have the balls to approach a girl and admit that you approach her because you think she is hot. Yes, this is direct. Is it direct game? no, after this initial directness, the real game has yet to start. In an all honest context, you can do the most devious things. but that is another discussion.
THe point is, when doing PUA, the last thing you want to do is hide you through intentions. Being direct is one way, not telling you true intentions is another thing (more indirect) but not telling does not mean you hide it. Lying about whether you think she is hot/attractive etc, is hiding it.
Using canned routines and shit only gets you as far as approaching, because most people see it as ticket into a conversation. They think that to be able to start a conversation, she must not know that you are actually attracted to her. Canned material works great if you realize that you dont need it to attract, but if you see it as tools to get what you want while feeling comfortable that she might blow you off.
So to get back to your question: forget canned material. think in ways of qualification and 'getting to know her'. Ask her questions that matter, questions you want to know the answer on. Whether you only want to fuck her or not. I mean, do wouldnt want to screw a psycho? Use qualification, you know, state what it is you think is sexy and see if she fits that. those two concepts mix well together. While doing so, turn up the heat with touching (depending on what it is you want).
good luck.
ciao!
CHAT
