Im currently living on a college campus. Basically there is a hot in my class and when I first walked in I was blown off my feet so, naturally, I sat right next to her and started a conversation. Soon after I found out she had a bf so i backed off and we had a casual acquaintance relationship, until....

about 3 weeks ago she told me she broke up with her bf. At this point I was like whatever because I had several other girls going at the time and I generally never had luck with girls who just came out of relationships. But she actually finds me interesting... and a week ago she started flirting with me in class (touching, passing notes, etc.) and today she promised she would invite me to a party next time her sorority had one.

At the same time I feel like she is a bit of a tease (like she does this with every guy) and I might be getting into the "just friends" area with her. So what do I do? Btw, if you couldnt tell I really wanna sleep with this girl.

Since I am a woman, I will give you my perspective. I broke up with my bf not long ago and yeah, she is flirting because she is looking for an emotional and/or physical crutch. I think women who are on the rebound are the easiest targets if you are aiming just for a physical rendezevous. But be careful, you don't want to hurt someone further who is already hurting. (She is probably flirting with every guy possible just to forget her ex. yeah?)

Whatever she does with other guys doesn't need to concern you right now. She wants to have several guys around her to reassure she has sex (sounds familiar?)
Anyway, I can't see how you can be in the friend-zone, unless you don't escalate next time you see her. This is a win win situation because she wants a guy to fulfill her needs again, and also get approval that she can't get with a man again, which will grow her self-esteem and confidence.

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"Despite all the giggling, blushing and talk about having a deep connection, it all ends
with a cock in her mouth." ~60 Years Of Challenge

you could try hitting on all her friends, and virtually ignoring her, she probably thinks she is all that, and will be curious to find out why her flirting is not working on you, dont respond to her notes, and when (if she invites you to anything) either dont go, or take another girl with you

better still, throw your own party, and invite lots of girls, only get round to inviting her later rather than sooner, and when you do, make it look like its not a big deal to you

its scientifically proven that women find a man who is surrounded by female company more attractive than the same man when he is either alone or with male friends...fact!

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Great point from Ariana which every PUA should note as a rule:

women find a man who is surrounded by female company more attractive than the same man when he is either alone or with male friends

Goes along well with the points I was making in another thread regarding PU at the gym - get to be friends with the girls at a class.

Being in the friend zone isn't a bad thing - escalate from there.
"Started out as friends" is very common.

Another guideline is that the best way to get over someone is "dance with a stranger" - euphamism for rebound sex with someone new. Be her stranger.
If she wants to take it further then "don't be a stranger" - be there for her when she needs you. As it were.

Let us know how it turns out.


St.

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Saint+

Ok so in the week since I posted the original I havent really moved things forward much. Im trying to kino as much as I can but its a lot harder in a class then in a club where girls expect to be touched by guys.

Basically she talks to me every class and leans in when she does and turns to looka at me every couple of minutes, its not accidental because the teacher is in the other direction (IOI??). I dont want to ask her phone number because it might make me look like an AFC and I havent gotten around to throwing a party yet, prob next weekend.

Yesterday in class she was like:
HB: What u doing for halloween?
ME: I donno yet. Got a few invites but havent decided which party to go to yet (this was true)
HB: cool
ME: what about you?
HB: pre gaming at a friends place and then I stilll have to decide

should I have asked her to come to a party with me at that point? This girl is always center of attention and I know a lot of guys ask her out. I feel like this is what she expects and I feel like asking her to party is an AFC move, I need to do something she doesnt expect.

A: you should have said which party you were going to

think? what is stopping you? what stopped you organising a party, or at least making a start on it? what stopped you deciding which party you were going to, or at least pretending to for the sake of the conversation...you could always have 'changed your mind' later. If she knew you were going to party A, then it might have helped make her mind up which party she was going to decide to go to!!! doh

you had a fantastic, but limited, window of opportunity ie halloween, and you let it slide by?

you want to make things different but you are still exactly where you were before? what is keeping you there?

"i'm trying....but its hard..." stop making excuses

simple you are stuck in your comfort zone. gr8 thing about that of course is that you dont have to worry about the risks of making a change? so how is that working for you? must be working pretty well cos you havent done anything about it. and if you dont do anything you will still be stuck there indefinitely.

its scary to come out of your comfort zone you need to acknowlege your fear of this and face it, use that to motivate yourself; decide you will not let your fears control you for another single day

make another goal: make yourself uncomfortable, take a scary step, be specific about how you will benefit from making this plan and use it to motivate yourself to move forward and set yourself a deadline, a date by which this will be acheived,

the alternative is that you wont do anything and all these windows of opportunity will slide by in the meantime - this is what you should be fearful of - because these same windows of opportunity will be available to everyone else too, and unless you use them, someone else will...guaranteed!

just dont do nothing, life rewards action

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

She asked you what you were doing. Then told you she hadn't decided what she was doing, ie telling you that she is available.

She's waiting for you to ask her out. Go for it.

Remember - you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.


St.

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Saint+

I threw a party this weekend, not for her but just cuz I felt like it. She was invited. In another thread I was told that she might not come as it is another way of seeking attention and that I should act like I dont care. I am also aware that this ahs been going on for ages, this girl is driving me insane, its definitely becoming a case of the harder you have to work for something the more you want it.

here is what happened, she didnt show up and I honestly didnt care because I n-closed 5 or 6 girls at the party. However in class today she did bring it up, here is how it went (stuff in brackets are my thoughts);

HB:How was your weekend?
ME: Pretty Good
HB: You seem upset (Looking for attention much?) (I didnt seem upset, I seemed the way I always seem when I walk into a 10am class - Like I still wanna be in bed)
ME: Nah, im just tired
HB: I was gonna come to ur party but stuff happened
ME: haha u missed a great party
HB: We were on our way I swear but this girl like tackled me on the street and started yelling racist shit at me (she is of hispanic descent btw). (hmmm... seems a bit elaboret and a bit like bs but she went on to retell a long ass 10min story about what happened and she seemed genuinely angry so my theory is that the thing on the street really did happen at some point but it isnt what stopped her coming, she just decided not to.)
ME: you should really learn how to fight. I can give you lessons you know (I already explained to her how im a kickboxer earlier), I normally charge money for that sort of thing but Ill give u a discount since we are friends.
HB: haha, so did you have fun at the party?
ME: of course, do I still have highlighter on my face? (it was a highlighter party)
HB: No, wait.. haha yeah *strokes my face where there is a highighter line*
ME: haha yeah, you cant get that shit out. On my neck here is actually a phone number some girl wrote, took me a good 20min to figure out what it was using a mirror and some blacklights.

To that she didnt reply but this whole interaction happened while she was clearly facing me and touching my hand etc. she also is constantly rubbing up against my leg "accidentally" of course. I have noticed that when girls are facing you (whole body, in particulair feet, not just face) they are into you and when they talk over their shoulder they are not, at least not yet. This girl was facing me fully today even though the teacher and whole class was in the other direction.

Im so confused tho. she seems into me but at the same time she sometimes does not, it depends on the day. But Im in a bad position now because I have to think of another place to take her and I dont think I can directly ask her out because she seems the type of girl who wants every guy to ask her out just so she can LJBF him. It has to be indirect.

Ideas? At the very least I think I am playing it right SPAM, i dont think i screwed anything up yet...

There is an 18+ club night on wednesday (she isnt 21 yet so I cant invite her to a regular bar). I was thinking of inviting her but should I directly say "come to this club" or ask her if she is going or if she wants to go or should I think of something else to say or somewhere else to invite her?

If I did invite her to this I have a feeling she wouldnt come, probably say something like "maybe Ill come, ill see" and then not show up.

nope dont invite her, just let her know you are going, and maybe you are thinking of inviting someone else.......

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."