So here is my biggest problem.
So i dated this girl for a few years, she dumps my ass, and now I'm living with my uncle. I made the decision to live with my uncle because he is helping me out bigtime with finances, he offered to pay for my degree if i help him out with some work that he does, and he is paying for me to goto the gym, so thats just 2 self development type things he is helping out with. If it wasnt for him I'd probably be living under a bridge, or worse.

The best thing about it is, it allows me the time to spend time developing my self, my inner game, etc, I have made the decision to sacrifice 1 year more, time it takes to finish my degree, on just continually improving myself so I can be an awesome guy.

Of course its not all dandy, or at least i dont think so. While im "improving myself" it feels like i dont have much to offer a girl, or anyone for that matter, because the things they like to do are the opposite to self development: going out a lot, drinking, being broke is something that is common, etc... I just dont like those things. For christ sake the thing i want more than anything is a good life, or what i consider to be a good life.

So we come to the problem. If i wanted to take things further with any girl, i immediately get the feeling that i couldt bring her to my uncles place because its just embarrasing, and I dont want to seem like i always rely on her and always go to her place, is this even an issue?

Black Label

I've seen guys I've known my whole life living with their parents bringing in trains of women on a regular basis. They told me one thing about it, and it's dead on, "It's only a problem to them when it's a problem to you." A woman can sense when you comfortable in your skin and dont give a fuck. Having the balls to bring a woman home when you live with a relative is a bolder statement than needing the perfect set up to bring them home.

I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself when it comes to women. You naturally put alot of pressure on yourself to succeed in life (Dont get me wrong, i respect the hell out of it).

When you say, "I dont have alot to offer a girl".....so? Because you cant give her a mansion on a rolling green hill, you cant have a happy relationship with one? Remember, you're looking to meet girls because it's FUN. Trust me, being able to unwind and have fun with a girl and having no expectations is the biggest self improvement you can give yourself.

Honestly, you sound alot like me. I live alone now and moved away from alot of my friends, so I devoted most of my time to work, school, and didnt really play too much because I was trying to change for the better. While that mindset is a good thing to have, it's better to be a balanced individual. You CAN be strict about work and things to that nature while still being able to go out on a friday night and have fun. Both are really therapeutic ways to enrich your life, and having "good" women in it is wonderful.

Stop trying to build yourself to be this super amazing guy-image in order to meet women. Do it right now! Have fun with women in your free time. You dont need to date them, marry them, wine and dine them, or even show them your college degrees above your trophy case in the room where you keep your war medals onto of your photos of your time spent as a deep space astronaut.

You do sound like you have alot going on for you. I can sympathize, times are hard as hell. This is all the more reason to be able to have things aside from everyday life to look forward to. Your a great guy as you are right now with good things to offer women. Infact, they're even lucky to be given your attention with how hard you work to make yourself the best person you can be. Have that mindset. You ARE the catch. Not you down the road. Right now.

And remember, you dont need to offer a woman anymore than yourself. Im sure you have the most noble of intentions by waiting a year, but after that year is gone, I can almost guarantee that anxiety will still be there when the time comes. You'll still second guess your achievements and question your worth. There's no better time than now to work on your self improvement. If you really want to challenge yourself, devote that year to ALL aspects of life. Career, women, friends, social life, physical health, mental health, and whatever else your into.

This topic is a long discussion. Seriously, look up "RSD" and "social conditioning". It will help you out a lot.

Is funny because I get in the phase of social conditioning and my game just drops. I gotta snap myself out of it.

Next time you see that hot girl who wanna talk to but feel like your not good enough for her, it's social conditioning. If you think above it, all the value you need to bring to the girls is yourself. Not your car, not your house, not how much money you have in the bank, not some fucking cool "DHV" stories you learn from Mystery Method or even routines you may know. When you can truly bring value and it yourself, you will find that your AA goes away, and best of all, you will never run out of things to say.

Maybe its just living in superficial Orange County, but the attractive womenmy age(23) here don't give you a second look unless u fit perfectly into one of the stereotyoes associated with the area. Im not that kind of guy, would kill myself if I ever became one, but if I can't escape the feeling that Im boring unless I dumb myself down and create an alternate persona, which also means I can never get serious with thos women.

The must humbling experience for me was hooking up with a milf I met at a bar while out with some buddies, shes a teacher, is smart and loves the true intellectual side of me. I tell her I love to cook, and it doesn't put her off because she'd rather eat at Olive Garden. For me atleast, I know my big problem is experience and lack of exposure to any kind of female encounters. Its interesting to be in a position where she likes you more than you like her, physically speaking I don't have a thing for milfs, but I figured why not. And as PUAs we chase women, having a woman chase you is a new perspective and a good one to have for what may come later in your life.

And going out with her definately draws some looks, which I love. But being with a woman, that u know you don't have to game 24/7 just keep her around gives you freedom to focus on other aspects your personal development. PUA experience is good, because I've already had 3 guys on 3 seperate occasions who were at least 5 years older and total alphas come in the group trying to game my girl... Knowing what I learned here I came out on top each time because I spotted their intensions. Even an alpha will lose interest and move on when you massage his targets thighs and make-out infront of them, after being nice, introducing yourself and throwing out some friendly compliments...

Your uncle sounds like a good guy. You should bring some girls back for him . . .

Seriously though, this is a phase in your life; don't rush it and have fun with it. I know a few older guys with mega, mega money who flaunt multiple trophy wives. After a few drinks, they'll typically recall the dirt-poor days of their youth. And for some reason, the girls that they knew at that time in their lives seem to draw the fondest memories.

There will come a time when even the 'worry' you share with us now will become a fond memory for you. You'll laugh about having to borrow your friend's apartment for an hour and the guy getting pissed off about cum stains or worse, period stains on his pillow. You'll laugh about a time your uncle walked in you and quietly walked away. You'll laugh about the time a girl wanted something romantic and all you had was a candle and a stolen flower from neighbor. You'll laugh about a romantic hot dog dinner you cooked for a precious gal who loved you dearly.

Just have fun and roll it. If you run into idiots who think that they are 'better than your life', laugh and move on. Usually . . . the people who have no perspective in life are those who are stuck in ONE social, economic, and cultural positions for their entire lives. Their existence is a mere reflection of whoever or whatever is around them.

Demonstrate your fun and progression.

Thanks for the replys, I'm definiltely worrying about the wrong things and for the wrogn reasons, i got into the community because i like the idea of developing yourself into who you want to be. I come from this angle from years and years of depression and a subpar quality of life, so its time to get this sorted.

Thank you all for the support

Black Label