This girl is a long story. To put it short, her long term boyfriend told her he cheated on her. She got attracted to me just before, around this time.

She left her boyfriend and met up with me. She said she wanted to go slow, I ended up k-closing on our first one-one meet. I think it bought up a ASD shield. She went back to her boyfriend as she said she felt guilty doing it as she's not fully over him despite what he did and doesn't want to think the time she's been with him has been a waste (emotional investment).

However, this girl texts me deep all the time and says she feels 'lost' without me. She has sexual thoughts about me and feels bad on her boyfriend about it. She meets up with me when she's with a friend, but says it's not fair to meet one-one.

I wouldn't do this normally but the guy doesn't deserve her for what he did in my opinion. She clearly still has feelings for me and she's said I'm the only other guy she's been attracted to since being with this lad.

I'm not sure what to do to lower her ASD (I guess that's what she's got now) and start meeting me again. I think she still loves this guy but I think she knows she's happier with me, which I've mentioned briefly. She says for me to 'be careful' when she's seeing her boyfriend as to when to text her.

I'm not sure what my next move is? I want this girl as a long term thing, not just a SNL. Any suggestions as to my next move?

Ah start running man, run away from this girl now. This is bad news man, she's not over her bf. I would only ever talk to her if she initiates conversation, and try to avoid any conversation about her bf.

Get away from her else you'll end up being the nice guy who was there to hear about all of her bf problems.

If you want to be with her than make yourself scarce, and don't reward her for going back with her bf.

You know what, that was exactly what I was going to suggest doing!

It feels odd to do, but it's the right thing.

right now the first thing going through my mind is she is concerned not be 'unfair' on her bf but she isnt bothered about being unfair to you
ie its 'not fair' (on him) to meet one-one; she feels bad on her bf for having sexual thoughts about you, and you have to 'be careful' as to when to text her incase she is with him
hang on a minute, this bf is the same bf that cheated on her and she is bothered about hurting his feelings??
its a sad fact that plenty of girls like 'bad boys'/men who treat them badly, and this girl wants her guy because he let her know that she was disposable and someone else wanted him
if you want her, can i suggest you stop being the nice guy/pathetic loyal puppy dog who will wait for ever
i dont think her resistance to you is ASD btw. i think its that you aren't a challenge, you are too nice to her, you want to make her 'happy', she wants what she can't have, she wants what someone else has deemed desirable to have (ie her bf)
instead, SPAM you are just her back up plan, her plan b, her security blanket, the guy that tells her she is still attractive - you need to be the 1st prize, not 2nd best runner up prize - cos that is what she currently sees you as.
maybe you need to let her know/think that someone else is interested in you and that you are not going to be around for ever as a stand by like a tin of baked beans

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

True, but believe it or not. I've never told her how attractive she is and she mentioned it on a few times saying I don't like her for her looks.

You're both totally right though!

you are 'telling' her, non-verbally that you see her as attractive/desirable (whether physically or otherwise) simply by virtue of wanting to be with her....her bf on the other hand has 'told' her most emphatically yet in a similar non-verbal manner, that she is not so 'attractive' by virtue of cheating on her

you finding her attractive, by definition makes you less valuable than him in the overall pecking order for the following convoluted reasons:

she must think he is a 9 or she wudnt be going out with him in the first place, by cheating on her (presumably with some girl she thinks is prettier than her or at least an 8 ) he now makes her feel now like a 6 .... ergo if you fancy her you must (in her sad deluded confused and currently very insecure state of mind) by definition be a 5/4, or you wudnt fancy her....i am exagerating a bit but do you get where i am coming from? but, following her logic, if she can get her shit of a bf to want her again, it will reassure her that she is not a 5 but at least a 9 again

if you just care about this girls feelings, rather than playing her, you could agree that you dont want her for her looks, but at the same time mention that you think she is gorgeous and any man would want her

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

She's just text me asking if I want to go out with her and her mate on Wednesday and she said this guy wants to come (who is completely AFC and basically creams himself every time he sees her it's pathetic).

I text back saying 'Maybe. Not sure yet x' I thought I'd give her the cold shoulder a bit.

She come back saying her mate can't make Wednesday now and they are on about going on Thursday. She ended the text saying 'just let me know bbe'

The question is, show her a good time and show her what she's missing and bring it about some how that it will have to stop because I'm meeting another girl.

Or

Just say no I'm meeting someone else?

After you put it in perspective the other day it really made me think she's making me look a right twat. Which in turn makes me want to nail her tbh! Help?

To add, she has just text asking if I was ok, which I replied 'yeh, you?' pretty bluntly.

She said 'you just seemed a little down. Or funny earlier. Hope your ok x'

I said 'Yeh im all good just pre occupied x'

I'm hoping that gets her thinking I'm with another girl. I think I've played that right?

for goodness sake do not reply to her every text

and fyi you will 'prob be busy' on thursday - do not supply further information about what you are busy with

_________________
James: "Cheer up. Remember what the Monty Python boys say."
Helen: "Always look on the bright side of life"?
James: No, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition."

Done, and done. Thanks for the help. I don't reply to all her text, hence the reason why she was asking if I was ok. Because I didn't reply to her last two lol.

Quick update, sorry guys. I'm amateur and only froze out a girl once before so it's all pretty new.

She's text me twice today, the first asking what was up, the second was by the name she calls me (she shortens my real name) with a question mark on it.

Then blatently gets her friend to text me too, which I haven't replied to.

I didn't reply to either, I've just updated my facebook status and she's noticed and sent me a private mail asking me what's up and 'do I have to beat it out of you?' trying to be playful.

How long do I freeze her out before talking again without her losing interest? What do I say when I decide to contact her again (reply to a text)

Just invite her out on a fun, casual, low-pressure day 2. Stop overthinking, she likes you

_________________
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FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com

I'll try. But she'll no doubt claim she's got a bf again and she can't do it... whatever it is.

You know better than me though. I'm still pretty much an afc

If she mentions the BF just IGNORE IT. Ignore anything that doesn't progress the pickup. If you show her a good time, are willing to shoulder all the responsibility, and sexually escalate confidently without making things awkward, she will fuck the shit out of you. Just relax and invite her out to something fun. Stop worrying about WHAT IF and just go for what you want. Life is too short

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com

Ha, I just got this reply 'You know I can't really dont you? So how come you've been arsey with me? I don't get you? What's happened?'

What do I put now! I know she would come back with that. She's too loyal for her own good. I just text back

'Im not being ive just been extremely busy with stuff. x'

She replied

'Ok. Stuff being your business? So how come you cant come out with us on Thursday?'

I run my own business to save any confusion there!

It's gone on a few texts but it's firmly in her head that I have a date on Thursday night and she tried to get me jealous by saying 'remember it was your idea to go without you on Thursday'.

I think it's working favourably. She said she doesn't like me being so cagey and is asking a tonne of questions which I'm pretty much ignoring which ones I don't want to answer.