Hi everyone. I'm having a really hard time right now. The girl that I was dating for the last 2 and a half years just called it off with me right after telling her how much I loved her.

I broke up with her for a very small amount of time (it was for 2 days, these were the hardest two days of my life) because I noticed that she wasn't giving me the time of day anymore. She became very emotion and told me she didn't want to let me go but I still broke up with her (I was in tears while doing this, but I just felt like I had to do something drastic to let her know what I was feeling). Two days later we talked decided we would work thru it. I really loved this girl and I truly wanted to fix this so I said okay. I sent her a text last night telling her how much I loved her and am so glad we're working thru it and she called me and told me I was right and that we needed to end it.

It's been 4 days since and all I can think about is her and I cry all the time. I tell myself that I was to good for her anyway and that I can get another girl and move on and she'll be even better ect.. but it's just not working. I'm not a player nor do I want to be. I just want a happy healthy relationship and I really thought I had that with her. I just dont know what to anymore and it's seriously effecting my health and making me very unstable...

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check out this post. it might give you a boost. the only thing that actually helps is time. youll realize it one day though, youll wake up and look back at the long road youve been walking and realize you were supposed to go womewhere different in life, you were meant to keep trucking instead of putting your bags down and settling. keep your head up, you can do this.

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BBM: 30D97152

Hang out with family and friends
try to busy your mind with stuff you like
and also a pinch of philosophy and optimism

Thanks guys. I've been hanging out with friends, going to work and spending time with my family.. but it's the nights that are my problem. I'm a night owl and it's when I would text my girlfriend and talk to her the most. I feel so unbelievably alone I just don't know what to do. Movies, Video games, TV.. nothing appeals to me. I have such an extreme sense of emptiness and I just feel so alone that nothing can overpower it. I know this sounds emo or whatever but I can honestly say I've never felt like this before in my whole life and this is the most stressful and powerful sadness I've ever felt.

I just want to get back into the game as quick as I can, and stop feeling so alone. I just want to lay next to a woman and feel loved again.

game is no solution, game is the problem

have you heard or read some materials from pua ?
Cause it might be part of the causalities for the loneliness you're describing

I really haven't been reading a lot of pua stuff. I just want to get out and start living a normal life again where I can start forming another relationship and reading pua related stuff is really my only hope of being able to break the ice with another girl so I've really just been browsing my options and not reading much into it.

It's also been bugging me the way we broke up. The first time we did we were both in tears trying to talk and kind of comfort eachother, the second time we did (When she was breaking up with me this time) I didn't shed a tear while she was balling her eyes out. I just kept telling her how I couldn't believe I let myself fall into this and how I felt like she stabbed me in the back and how she has no idea what I'm about to go thru and that I should of never opened myself up to her emotionally in the first place. I was very cold to her and my intent was to make her feel bad at this point because I knew I was going to be in pain after this and I wanted her to feel as bad as possible. I was telling her about the present I got her for Christmas and other things that would really make her feel like crap.. I almost want to say sorry or something because I have no idea how shes handling it and I really don't want to hurt her like that or be on bad terms.

She's really a nice girl, and I can understand that people move on like she has with me but I'm just taking it in such a harder way since she's the one moving on with me and not the other way around.

keep your distance. dont apologize for anything. things work out the way they are supposed to. join a 24/7 gym. the thing that swung me out of my depression was having something to do at nights after work when i would usually spend time with my ex.

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BBM: 30D97152

physical exercise like gym etc. can help u a lot

this might sound very stupid, but this song always made me feel better when i was depressed, ( lots of family problems, person close to me is sick for 4 years now, died almost a vew times etc.)

but it always cheered me up, maybe it works for you too...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ECUtkv2qV8&feature=fvst

I'm going through the same thing you're going through (well, not as bad at this point though). My girlfriend of a year and half dumped me about a month and a half ago. From the way that you describe it, it sounds we had a similar situation to you and yours. We were hot and heavy in the beginning, and an inseparable and "obnoxiously cute" couple for the middle (and the majority of it). However, in the last few months, I graduated from college while she stayed in college, and while we tried to make it work, we went months without being able to have a conversation without getting into a blowout fight. Combined with that, and her ex-boyfriend getting back into the picture ("we're just friends" etc.).

Getting to the point, I didn't take it well, and I had a trouble accepting it as a reality. It didn't help that she had called it a "break" in the beginning. But, she was crying throughout the whole breakup, and she kept making out with me, but it didn't mean anything. Take it from my experience, you'll feel a lot better when you accept that its over, stop trying to get back with her, and move on. I'd also try to avoid things and paper that remind you of her, and either try to get into routines that you had before the relationship, or create new ones, and hobbies.

Also, it's the common advice, but time is the best healer. It's been up and down, but I feel better than I did a month and a half ago. I still have a distinct melancholy, but at this point its getting harder and harder to identity the great things about the relationship, and us acting as a couple is becoming a more and more distant memory. In time, you may be able to see her without all the feelings rushing back. But keep in mind, most relationship experts suggest that it takes a person at least half the time that they were dating to get over the person. So I wouldn't go rushing to anything after only a few days, it may take you a year or two to be good again.

In terms of dating and hooking up, I'd say that sex is not necessarily a bad thing. It may temporarily heal the pain, and it will at least help your ego and self confidence. However, I definitely wouldn't jump into a relationship, it wouldn't be fair to the girl.

the cure for depression is Distraction distraction distraction...

music, movies, girls.. whatever takes ur mind off urself is going to help..

I had it for a while n it makes game almost impossible, cuz it really starts at your mood.. find someone whos easy to laugh with.. and laugh all the time..

Dont tell everyone about ur problems, ive found that it may feel good to vent, but it just makes ur depression more tangible to you.. and harder to deal with...

Whist i appreciate all members are acting in the sincerest intentions to try and help you, i would advise you to be critical of a persons credentials before accepting such insight. For most instances a response giving you the best perspective(based on fact and experience) can suffice in helping with your situation but when your issue is depression the effect of a few lines of text from people you do not know and people who do not know you is suspect.

All i can really say is TIME is a big factor i have experienced that will help, weather it be loss of a loved one through the end of a relationship or death. But like i said earlier, my longest romantic relationship was 2 years, perhaps a member who has the EXPERIENCE of a 3+ year romantic relationship ending can offer something i cant.

The worrying thing is that you mention you feel depressed and this is affecting your health, the severity of the depression only you know but in any instance i would STRONGLY advise you to see a psychiatrist who is QUALIFIED to help you and will be near you if things get worse.

The things suggested earlier like exercise (also meditation) have been proven to help people who are depressed and yes these are things you can do that MAY help.

I do stress that i have no doubt members are acting with the best intentions however you stated this is effecting your health and you feel unstable which is a worry and the fact is, if things get worse NONE OF US WILL BE THERE which is why you need a qualified person that CAN help you and isn't profiling you based on a few lines of text.

One thing i can tell you from having a friend who went through depression is that it is a very slippery slope and you'd be best to get help from a qualified professional psychiatrist because the consequences if you don't can be very severe.

I can honestly say I am already feeling a little better...

I say I'm "unstable" because almost everything puts me in a sad mood and I'm normally a very happy go lucky person.. Going to the airport today reminded me of how we used to always fly, and doing thins like driving by her street on my way out today (which is on the way to the mall, I am not doing this intentionally) , or even eating since I was such an incredibly picky eater before dating her and now I eat a lot more of different food that she introduced to me. Almost everything reminds me of her, so it's hard for me to break into a good mood unless I'm surrounded by people or something.

Effecting my health is just that I'm not eating a lot anymore.. I just want to say in bed but I am eating.. just not as much.

From what I'm reading though, these seem to be normal things that everyone goes thru after a hard breakup which makes me feel a little better knowing that I'm not the only one and that you guys have recovered.

Thanks every for your responses, they all are helping me.

Read Eckhart Tolle, should put things into perspective nicely

All I can say, having been in a similar situation, is to go out at night.

Be fair to yourself though. If you go out, forget your ex. Someone asks, say you've been single for two years... Don't move on, or taint your memory of her, just push it all aside. Its not relevant to your daily life for the next month.

Your goal is to make new friends, preferably female friends, but whatever you can manage.

Fake it until you make it. Go out have fun, find out for yourself that there are other fun, attractive women out there, you just have to go look for them. Or sometime they find you...