This is going to get long... in a way, its sort of a confession

I am a new member, but I have been browsing this forum occaisionally for a while now.

I guess I have a lot of psychological problems that I won't go into now.
But to summarize, its like I know I have yet to really be with a girl, when stuff happens or a girl likes me its completely on accident and it only works with girls im not attracted to because I act without fear, or without even trying to impress them.

In a way, im more intimidated by other guys who are better looking, bigger, tougher etc.

Personallity wise I am very different around different people, but for the most part I am a joker. I love to laugh, make fun of people etc. When im with a group of dudes that I am comfortable with I am usually either the center of attention or the source of entertainment.

Everything I do depends on my comfort level. For example in high school classes where my confidence was high (cool with the teacher, people younger/quieter than me etc.) I was the funny guy and the center of attention, but in classes where my comfort level is not so high (grown ups, "cool kids" etc.) I am quiet and introspective.

I am a mix of introvert and extrovert.
I am also a very lazy/unmotivated person, I think I have ADD, but I definately have problems focusing. I am a stoner of sorts(is this safe to say here) so this might contribute, but I think i've always been like this.

My worst characteristic is my insecurity. I lie to protect my honor and pride (which defeats the purpose). I am different around different people meaning that on the inside I fear many things.
When one makes up lies to say to everybody one begins to believe in those lies. I made up many lies about what i've done in the past and eventually I began to believe them (that I was cool, good with women etc.).

But lately ive realized that I have yet to ask a girl out...

Back to the subject.
I attend a school with a 70.30 MF ratio, yes MF.
It sucks, it destroys the social life because the frat parties only admit girls and are otherwise very unwelcoming to other guys. This makes all social interactions difficult because everything here revolves around the ratio. Ugly or average girls get bumped up quite a lot and I find that they develop the largest bitch shields because they aren't supposed to get hit on as much in the real world. I have danced with girls while drunk at some frat parties, but I can't seem to get anywhere with them. Maybe because my dancing sucks? I am known for getting extremely drunk at parties and doing wild stuff (not sure if this is a good or bad thing).

There isn't really a 'cool group' here all is determined by what fraternity one is in. I am not in one now but I am definately rushing next semester so that shoudl create more opportunities.
Wow this has become a really depressing post. But I feel that it is time to come clean.


A last illustration of my personallity would be the fact that nobody that I know, knows what I have just stated...

Hi.

Welcome to the forum!

I fell you there, man. I've had similar problems. Some of them are still there. I have yet to let it become my default behavior to go beyond my comfort zone properly. But there's good news as well. Actually your lack of motivation is a lack of neediness. You can turn around a few of those things and start being incredible. I've overridden my personal lack of motivation with pure will. I am telling myself every single day that I want this, that I really want to get good with women, even though it won't do much of a difference for me inside. I consider myself already a happy person and I don't really need women, but I want them. So you can transform your lack of motivation directly into lack of neediness. Because you don't really need it, but you still want it, it creates an impression that you can have it anytime, you just choose not to. And that is attractive. Of course, if you want women, you still have to do some work. You can't expect that everything will come to you by itself.

Don't worry when you're not the show all the time. Just yesterday when I was out, I wasn't really into everything and all. My buddy was kind of the social guy since he knew a bunch of the people in the club (long story, I'm not going into that). But I've talked to a couple of people and had fun. I even started working on a girl from that social circle, but I got interrupted (which I can hopefully continue on Saturday ). I eventually split off from my buddy's friends and had some time on my own. Just being independent and being able to actually able to have fun on your own will already do you good. You'll learn to get better and more fun bit by bit. Next time I get introduced to other people, I'll be a little bit more fun. This will accumulate over the weeks and months until I'll naturally be the life of the party with new people around.

Telling yourself good things about yourself is a good thing, even if they are lies. You just shouldn't tell it around so much. I've never really talked to my buddies about the relationships I had or have (which are almost zero, BTW), but since I've become a social guy, my friends actually naturally assume that I'm getting girls relatively easily. It's not my words that go around, it's my body language. The good thing is that I can use that to my advantage. Because I already have good body language, I can make others believe that as well which includes the girls I'm trying to pick up.

BTW, when I started going to college, the MF ratio at my college was between 80:20 and 90:10. Don't worry about that. There are plenty of girls outside your college as well.

In any case, I wish you the best of luck. You can do it. You can fix your psychological problems and you can learn how to get girls.

_________________
Don't hate the player, play the game.

To all PUAs in Zagreb: Dodjite na www.pua.hr

Can relate to that man, despite not having that ratio I still come across more cock than chicken. But. Half the reason I'm getting into this is to improve my social circle. Guys and girls.

Girls have that special something (+ their vagina/mouth/armpit) which does satisfy a natural drive most men have. But I feel guys are equally important, they present opportunities related to all the other aspects of life. So whilst your college may be 80:20 I wouldn't worry too much, as B-Fusion says.

I think it's generally accepted that the best girls will be around guys most of the time. Personally I have difficulty getting through the AMOGs......and most other men in groups, I feel that i give off a weedy quiet vibe at the moment, something I plan to change.

Good luck!