NEED ADVISE ASAP>>>feel really shitty.



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PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 8:09 pm 
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First of all, I really like this girl...

So basically this girl just broke up with her boyfriend. I'm interested in her. She knows that. We know each other and sometimes talk to each other. She is older. What should I do. I want to ask her out on a date but I don't wanna be flaked- any suggestions? + I'm 18 and I'm in USA and I don't have a car...she is older than me...HELP. Forgetting is not an option. Any Ideas when I should call her and how I should ask her out

There was this super awkward situation....I don't want to describe it but it was VERY awkward...I deleted her from my friendlist and then when I calmed down added her again...Before that kinda screwed any hope for attraction...I guess now she is just being nice to me...

About 3 days ago I sent her a message on facebook:

ME-"What are you planning for thangsgiving?"

HER-"going to stay, got lots of work to do XD you? "

ME-"My friend and I are driving to Pennsylvania, get a thanksgiving dinner with his hostfamily(he is Chinese who ent to highschool in US) and then visit NYC. You are welcome to join) "

This was yesterday and she hasn't answered yet) what should I do? ask her out somewhere else and then bring up thanksgiving or just shut up? IF YOU HAVE ANY ADVISES GIVE THEM ASAP because I'm going too text her tonight...probably ask what she's up to, say that I'm going somewhere and invite her..
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:03 pm 
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STOP!!! For God sake, just stop... Stop calling her, texting her and terminate every conversation with for a while... At least while we consider what should you do... Honestly man, I think you are very much boring to her... PUA's don't do that.

She isn't showing interest in you, obviously, and instead of creating attraction, you choose to molest her with message, after message... You screwed up, and to recover from that you must let some time to pass. When she receive a message from you she just thinks - oh, here's this guy again. You want her to think like that but in a positive way. Even worse if she knows that you like her.

So the first thing you have to do is to put the whole story aside for a while, at least a month or two... And then start all over. But this time do it like it should be done. Read some PUA stuff till then, learn, and prepare your strategy. It's important to change yourself during those two months, so when she sees you again she has the impression that you become a new man.

Definitely you should read some inner game material, cause your inner game is pretty much lame, according to all this...

Sorry for being so (too) honest, but there's no use of lying to you... It won't help... So, leave it for a while and educate yourself ;-)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:31 pm 
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Stop and move on. It is not worth it now.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:56 pm 
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Well said GeneralS

Rustam, read some more on attraction, and I really think you need to check out some David X material, I'm not a fan, I believe he's a bit extreme, but I think in your case it could help.

Good luck...

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:44 am 
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I guess you're right guys...but I still feel like shit. I'm really busy in college so I really don't have much time for practice...i really try hard and I'll do my best to stop. Concerning inner game it is pretty lame...I really have hard time turning the tables and making it seem that she is the one chasing me.(that's at least what my understanding of what inner game is)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:41 am 
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So, if you don't have time to practice, learning from your own mistakes is crucial. This lesson should be called - I must not do these things. From start till the end... It's not bad to make mistakes, we all do, and nobody is perfect. But it's silly to make the same mistake 2 or 3 times...

And inner game... Hm... Yes, and no... Your inner game represents your state of mind. For example you are gaming milf, let's say 30 years old. So instead of thinking - why would this woman sleep with me, I'm to young for her. Your inner game should be - I'm doing HER a favour. I'm the price here, she is the one who is old and I'm actually doing her a favour because I will sleep with her. She needs a proof that she can still sleep with young, handsome guys... You prepare that inner game and go to the date with milf or whatever and with a little bit of knowledge success is inevitable...

You should have some general inner game, but not just to have it, just to tell yourself that, you actually have to believe that you are the price, that you are a privilege to be with. And when you start believing in that, others will see that too, and they will believe in it. It's very powerful and one of the most crucial things in gaming... To have a strong inner game...


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 4:50 am 
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I agree. Decided to start learning PU. I have only 2 questions: 1)What to start with.
2) How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes if I don't know where I actually made the mistake?(in this case it's obvious, but what about future?)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:23 am 
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You could start with the story that you don't want to tell. It's like visiting a therapist, man. We can't help you if you don't give us all the details.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:21 pm 
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First off, you said something along the lines of "I want to invite her on a date but I'm afraid she'll flake" i.e. "I have a desire and want to act on it but am afraid of failure." The only failure is not trying. Everything else is learning along the way to success.

It does sound like you may have killed the initial attraction levels. Especially as that thanksgiving invite was kind of strange.

1. Wait a week or so without contacting her
2. Send out a text that is random and / or funny and gets her interested, e.g. "so apparently large amounts of alcohol, drunk dancing and a set of hair trimming products dont mix..."
3. She'll likely get back to you, depending on what you say with "omg what happened" or "lol sounds fun!"
4. THEN reply after a while with an invite.

About invites - until you've had sex a few times with a girl, there is no DATE. Do not be thinking dinner or movie or anything like that. It puts her in much more of a pressure situation than she wants to be. This is why your thanksgiving idea was so bad. She doesn't really know you that well and you're inviting her on a journey with some other guy to meet some family and spend hours and hours with you? I wouldn't do this unless I'd be seeing a girl pretty seriously for MONTHS.

Finally, you say you are "too busy" to "practice" because you have COLLEGE? Well, first off, game isn't something you do between the hours of 10-1 on a friday or something. Every time you walk outside to get lunch or shop for some jeans or get on the train, is an opportunity to make a connection with any number of women. All you have to do is talk to them. That's practice right there, on your way somewhere, for 5-10 minutes. Are you telling me you don't have time for THAT?

Secondly, don't think of game as a bunch of tricks that you say "ok I like this women, time to use the tricks now." It should be part of who you are as a person. This is where the inner game part comes in.

Inner game and outer game mutually reinforce each other and should progress together. Outer game is the things you say and do, how you talk, walk, act, dress, etc. Inner game is the beliefs you have about yourself, the world, other people and society. As you gain more success using some outer game techniques, your inner game will improve because you will see yourself as a more confident person who is good with women. When you have an inner game breakthrough that makes you realise you don't need other's validation, then your outer game will improve because you won't need to come up with witty one-liners and instead you will be able to deal with shit tests or AMOGs simply by ignoring them and re-framing the interaction.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:11 pm 
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Quote:
1)What to start with.
Definitely start with Mystery's Method... It's alfa and omega of Gaming... then you can choose which PUA's style is the most similar to you and then develop your game further...
Quote:
How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes if I don't know where I actually made the mistake?(in this case it's obvious, but what about future?)
When you understand how the game is functioning it would be very easy for you to know what you have done wrong... It's one of the most important advantages on PUAs vs natural gamers. We know what we did wrong, cause we know how the game is working. And naturals will often say - nah, she's a bitch... Just because he doesn't know where was he mistaking... Good luck on your future PUA journey ;-)


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:13 pm 
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General S,
I have read the Venusian arts,

When it comes to talking to random people...yeah I do that sometimes, probably should do it more frequently...+ English is my 3rd language so I might have some accent+pronunciation problems...

When it comes to story...At that particular point I was quite emotional...so I wrote a message on fb saying that I like her and staff like that(at least I didn't say that I love her, I learn from mistakes lol) I was ready for rejection and etc, but instead her friend accessed computer and wrote a rude answer about how he'll call his friends and kick my ass,I called him out, then she was apologizing for her stupid friend and etc. Kind of shocked me because I wasn't expecting it, and for the first time wrote something like that(that kind of kicked the romantic shit out of me) I still believe in love, but I understand now that If I don't take the action and start being realistic there will be no happily ever after.


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:24 pm 
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Quote:
I have read the Venusian arts
Don't just read... When you read it once again try to understand what the man is saying there...

And forget the girl, just stop any kind of communication with her. You will humiliate yourself even more (if that's even possible). Read and learn about the Game and go out and practice, try rising from AFC...


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