New to the game...need advice



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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:59 am 
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Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:48 am
Posts: 20
Hey everyone,

So heres the scoop. Im 18, Im a Music Producer/Writer and I live in LA. I've had a lack of confidence with girls my entire life and have always have an awful time making things happen. In my career, with friends etc, I have ounces of confidence but when it comes to girls I fall FLAT on my face..

I tend to end up in a few similar situations EVERY time I approach a girl or DONT approach a girl and I figured Id come to you all and see if you could help me figure out what Im doing wrong.

1. Im afraid to make a move at all. - I see a girl when Im out and about and instead of making a movie or even saying HI I become shy/stalkerish and just allow myself to loose control of the situation and nothing happens.

2. I meet a girl and really like her but I end up as the "happy go lucky/good guy/best friend/etc" - For some reason when I approach a girl after meeting her in what ever way or another I end up as just the friend and nothing more. "Don't see you like that", etc. Those are the typical reactions. Im a very open guy with very little mystery left and I know that is probably part of it.

3. I feel like I try and rush things.

ANYTHING you can offer as advice means a lot to me.

Best,
MPLA


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:24 am 
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PUA Forum Leader

Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:36 pm
Posts: 1253
Been there. I was probably worst off because I could not even talk to girls.

There is no short cut here. You gotta push your comfort zone. One key thing (or at least for me) that got girls sexually attracted to me while talking to them was kino. Very important. Another thing to keep in mind is that this is not a overnight fix. Took me over a year to fix.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 9:36 am 
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Anything else man?


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:38 pm 
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bump


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:45 pm 
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Joined: Sun Sep 12, 2010 4:47 pm
Posts: 253
Location: london, essex
something tells me you havent read much pua material right ?

if i am then go out buy , the game, mystery method and david deangelo's double your dating ( i started with this and it got me my first gf ).

if im not then you simply have massive approach anxiety. if so then you need to do the newbie mission/ the style life challenge in the rules of the game / another option.

weve all been in your position mate and im 18 myself, but comeone youre a music producer in LA that must put you in the path of some very attractive women, it all comres down to practice my man.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 5:01 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:35 pm
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Website: http://www.sashapua.com
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1. Don't think of it as "making a move" or "saying a line" or anything like that. Go out with the intention of just talking to and meeting a bunch of people, having fun, and if you end up in a conversation with a cool girl, then just see how far you can go with it. A really simple mission I give new guys is just to approach 5 women every day and just ask directions to a coffee shop. That's it. Do it with a smile, listen to their answer, and then you can choose to simply say thanks and walk away or, see if you can try and push the interaction further by saying something that you notice about them. Maybe they're holding a bag from a store you like, or they're wearing a cool piece of jewellery, or whatever. Say something about it, talk about that for a bit, tell them a little about yourself, see where it goes. Again, it's no pressure, it's just going out and connecting with people.

2. The number one reason for getting friendzoned is lack of KINO escalation. You have to work your way up the kino ladder, starting with friendly touching of the arm, shoulder, back of elbow, small of back, sides, legs, etc. all the way up past sexual touching, in order for her to get comfortable with you as a sexual partner rather than just a friend. Remember, always be the first to break kino, NEVER look where you're touching, and try and get in 2-3 little touches within the first few minutes of every interaction.

3. Rush what exactly?

I would also look at your situation. If you're involved in the music industry then you should be working on building connections with DJs, club promoters, recording artists, etc. Get your name out there, make some friends in the industry and not only will you be more successful but you'll find yourself invited to parties with plenty of high value guys and attractive women. Social proof will really help you because it makes the initial opening a lot easier and your value and attraction levels are already high to begin with.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 7:58 pm 
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Hey Guys thanks for the advice so far. I'm currently in a recording session from my phone so I can't give a proper response yet but anything else you can offer will really mean a lot to me!

Best,
MPL


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 11:47 pm 
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Bump


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