Quote:
- I'll become a rich person and women will fall for me like anything
- i'll spike my hair up and women will start finding me hot
- I'll start copying this jock and soon take him over!
- Once I become a successful actor/singer/sportsperson women will
start accepting me for the nice-guy that I am
I remember saying a lot of these only to realize that becoming good with women requires none of these. They certainly help, but NOTHING makes up for your lack of skill.
Keep adding more
The thing that's wrong with those statements of when I do X, Y will happen, is that when they focus on external things (like the one's above) it doesn't actually accomplish anything.
You fix one thing and another problem seems to take it's place.
Why?
Because those external things stem of an internal problem.
Most of the time it's a low self-esteem. As in not seeing your own uniqueness and personal worth.
goal striving behaviour isn't rewarding, unless you're learning a skill.
When doing work on your inner game, try out visualizations and rational thought.
As for happiness, it's not something to be achieved, it's a neutral state.