You will never get women if you try to

Sounds an odd statement doesn't it. I mean, if you want to learn something you have to focus on it. If you want to get food you have to aim to get to the shop and then cook it. But with women, if your aim is to get them you will fail.

I am going to use going to the gym as an example, but it could be many other things.

Women find a guy with 6pack abs and strong broad shoulders attractive, but fat guys still get laid.
Countless guys go to the gym to try to be more attractive to try to get laid. They put themselves through hours of hard work a week in the hope that girl at the coffee shop will give them her number. The problem is, they may still feel unhappy with themselves.
Other guys will not go to the gym at all because "looks don't matter". The problem is, they will look at themselves in the mirror and feel THEY could be better.

Both of those people are still holding themselves back because they are not doing what THEY want.

Some guys hate clubs - but they go there to meet women. They are going to look uncomfortable and are not going to be enjoying themselves - would you want to go and talk to them? No. So why would a woman.

Other guys will go and learn guitar to play to a date - they hate guitar but they think it will get them laid.

All these things will show through because of one key similarity:

Doing things because of how other people view it

When was the last time you did something because you thought it would make someone look at you in a better light? Did it make you feel better about yourself while you were doing it? probably not.

So what is the solution? It's simple:

Don't judge yourself by other peoples standards - judge yourself by your own standards

If you are an A grade student - don't just get an A. Try and get the best YOU can.

If you are in a sports team - don't just do enough to win. Do the best YOU can do.

If you like something - don't do it because you think people will like you more. Do it because YOU enjoy it.

If you do things because YOU know its what YOU want and its the best YOU can do - you will respect yourself. Once you respect yourself, other people will respect you no matter what it is you do.

A great post about the core of a successful PUA

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Awesome post. I agree with you.

A lot of us engage in activities we don't like just to get laid. Just like women who chop off their nose and throw up after every meal. Yet.. a chubby girl will still get a boyfriend.

People want acceptance so badly that they are willing to suppress the things that make them unique. Being unique is a turn on. We find value in things that are not very common. Who gets excited when they see a Honda?

Thats the irony of the whole "trying to fit in" thing. In many cases you are limiting yourself by blending in too much. Thats why PUA's invented "peacocking".

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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think

good advice, but what do you suggest we do about it? some guys might not like clubs but it's one of the best places to go get girls. should they try other places like parks or supermarkets or just "fake it till they make it?"

Go to places they enjoy.
You will meet people who have similar interests and therefore you already have something in common.

If you go to a PETA meeting to try and meet girls when your favourite hobby is to go hunting - things aren't going to work out between you.

yeah like when people go to clubs but dont drink and theyre by themselves, sure its not the weirdest thing but thats 2 pretty important points to be in a club missing.

i can sorta bipass it if you talk to enough people and make some friends to spend the night with whilst gaming.

Do you ever find that you end up doing something because youve been brainwashed into liking something? and any ways to find out how to know if you truly want to do something?

there so many things i used to think i liked but slowly realised i wasnt liking them because i just liked them and more so because everyone else was and it grew on me.

my only answer is a bit of self reflecting and life experience, you might have a better answer though

peace and love guys

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"You don't want girls to think you suck dick at fucking pussy"
-Seth (Superbad)

I knew going to gym was setting me back, pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew im CANCELING that subscription HERE I come DUNKIN DONUTS.

Great post but everyone should already know this

Madals

I wish i could phrase things as well as you.

I have another way of putting it.
Simple talk.

Stop searching for an image that you think will be cool and get you loads of women.
Learning the guitar and going to the gym.

Also i think a point could be made about following the pack.

A bit of individual thinking as opposed to an individual look.

Hanging out with people with shared interests.

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Its getting Hot out there.

Its all to easy.

I want to be a tree!

We've all heard this before, but its funny how reading something so true and so relevant can be so easily overlooked and forgotten.

It's a matter of two things, in my opinion:

1. Trying to hard
2. Doing things for the wrong reasons.

This is basically echoing what you said in my own words, but it helps me to understand.

This is where game is different than a sport like soccer, or working out, or other measurably attainable aspects of life. Usually, the rule "trying harder gets you there faster" applies. Not so much with game.

If you try too hard to get a girl's attention, approval, or pussy, you probably won't get it. Why? Because an excess of effort rubs off on the way you present yourself. Trying too hard socially skews your personality and your vibe. You don't present yourself as natural if you are forcing anything.

If you do something because you believe it will let you be perceived positively in the eyes of others, you're doing it for the wrong reason. Madals said it best -

"judge yourself by your own standards".

Wearing cool clothes because 'girls like it', not because YOU like it. Playing guitar because 'girls like it', not because YOU enjoy it. Telling a joke because you think other people will find it funny, not because YOU will find it funny.

Tragic mistakes that only disappoint.

Great reminder, Madals, thanks for the post.

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-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

Yes, its something that should be obvious. Unfortunately, it isn't.
People can so easily get caught up in little details (should I wear a white shirt or a cream shirt etc) that they forget the big picture.

Why I need try? Just I squeeze my muscle strong and sometime squeeze a chick's head in there and crush it like a peanut. That's my standard A.

Totally agreed with this topic, however, What if what your "doing" isn't helping you reach your goals and its really time for a change because your "doing" something wrong. Is changing your looks around and slightly changing your personality to become and overall better, kinder, and good looking person a crime?

Totally agree.

Went out clubbing lastnight with a few friends. New I would talk to women but it didnt bother me if nothing happened, i was just there for a good time.

Within 10minutes i opened a group (i have no idea how, a simple "how is your nite going") and just rode the wave from there. BTW i thought when people said they 'road the wave' it was hippy B.S, but it REALLY is a wave that keeps going.

I met and got to know an EASY 10-15+ people by just being chill, curious and fun and walking from set to set without hesitation.

By the way I really have to thank the guy who posted up the "i wish i had your boobs so i could get served faster" bar line opener. It was freaking gold!

umm okay i wont even read the full post because the first line is a complete joke.

i mean yeah sure, all the most well known pickup artists in the world, mystery, adam, david, ross etc. they neva tried to get girls. nah they just happin to wake up one day and go wow i know everything.

the key my friend is to try, the only reason every guy in this world isnt a player is because of that, he just wont try. if u try and worst case senario u fail, more likely than not u will be even more driven to persue your goal.

you will never get women unless u try.

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Only some, ever know the secret