I think the biggest thing preventing me from accepting "game" and having sex is the values I was brought up with. There's a mental barrier whenever I start escalating sexually with a girl that prevents me from going further. I can just push through the mental barrier, but I'd rather resolve it. So I'm here to get your advice.

I didn't post this in the Newbies forum because I don't want the blind leading the blind lol, even though these might be such "basic" questions for you. Treat me as if I'm your younger brother. I'm new to some things, but am willing to learn. Also, unless you are experienced in relationships/game/sex, or have thought this through these issues a lot, please don't reply to my thread, thanks.

Here are the issues:
1. I am a virgin (meaning no penetration lol). Some people say that virginity is sacred, that it should be given only to someone special, in a deeply committed relationship etc. My parents were very conservative and didn't have sex until marriage, but they're okay with me doing it (though not approving lol). They hope it's with someone I know is safe and who I love though. But I don't see a big reason for abstinence, it just seems ideological, if I use protection, which I always will, and choose girls who aren't too trashy I should be fine right? I mean obv I get horny like everyone else lol. What's the scoop on virginity?

2. Stigma-- I don't want people to be calling me a player, or "that guy who sleeps around". In the community I live in at least, that is a negative reputation. I don't want that reputation in the short term because I think it will make it harder for me to attract the type of girls I like. And also in the long-term when I am looking for someone to marry, I want someone who is very grounded, classy, sensible, smart, etc. I don't know if those types of girls will want to marry a guy who has slept with many women. What's the deal with that? (A side note: Maybe this isn't an issue and many women will think it is okay if I have had sex with only a few different women?)

3. The problem of casual sex-- I definitely do not want to hurt anyone, and I definitely definitely don't want to hurt the girl I am interested in. So I think it might not be fair if I'm only interested in having sex with her once, a very shallow attraction at the physical level, and she is expecting me to be attracted to her own self or is looking for a relationship, and let down by those expectations. What should I do about this? How can I communicate my expectations and resolve it with hers?

Thanks everyone, this is what I hope the first step on basics to get me on the road for healthy and fun relationships with women. You are amazing for helping me. Again, thanks!

I would greatly appreciate a reply to this, specially on the 3rd problem. I am kinda in a similar situation.

Hi.. No reply?. Please somebody help on this...

Im no pro but i will try and help you. but i know some stuffs because i can related to your background.

Virginity: Well my parents also are very conservative about sex, sex wasnt thing my parents talk to me while i was growing up its was like a devil thing or whatever, i got brainwashed that sex should be with someone very special ,and I skipped alot of sex in my adolescent age because I had like you a mental barrier(I regret didnt start earlier).
Still nowadays I only have sex with girls that I really like, that I think it could turn into "something", I cant do with slutish girls, even girls when Im picking up if they are too easy I lose interest in two seconds regardless of her looks. But Sex is just Sex we dont live in 16º century where virginity was something sacred come on move on, just do with someone you like, and doesnt have to be love of your life, we have needs and sex is really good. And also virginity was more like pre requesite for the GIRL, when man ruled the world the girl had to be virgin had to be good wife treat the kids and make dinner and always be waiting on her man, if she wasnt a virgin she wasnt fit to marry the guy she would be called a slut and would be banish of that society we dont live in this society anymore so move on. And ofcourse use protection, how old are you 12??



Stigma: I lived in small comunity but you aparrently live in a town where only exists 50 ppl are you amish?oh w8 amish dont have acess to internet so nvm xD. Like i said just do sex with girls you like dont go eat all the sluts and drunk whores you find and you should be fine, I still would like to know how little is your community.?
Are you going to reject a girl that is grounded, classy, sensible, smart, etc, just because she had sex with more than 5 guys? do we think on this terms if a girl like you, she will like you because of what you are, not the player you were who cares about the past ."You cannot find yourself by going into the past. You can find yourself by coming into the present" - Eckhart Tolle
I think its "Ezo" or "Chief" has a note on that when he told her girlfriend he was PUA you should look for that you will see her response. she didnt care of what he was but the man now in front of her
And btw you cant tell for sure your PERFECT GIRL will be in your community you could meet her in another town or in another planet LOL.
Let me tell you a story of my family I had two cousins (they were brothers) one was natural PUA the other was AFC. They grown in small comunity that has 20.000ppl. My AFC cousin live his life normaly and simple didnt like to go out had only one relationship with a girl he was a virgin lost with her and then got married. I cant say he is happy now is wife is pain in the ass I would commit suicide lol. On the other hand my PUA Cousin lived his live big had alots of girls , girls fighting for his attention when i was young i looked to my cousin and say "WoW he has so many girls why the fuck he needs all of them", when was time to settle he choose a girl that loved him very very much(SHE KNEW HE WAS A PLAYER) didnt matter, and there relationship is so awesome, the girls is always jealous because she knows there are other women on the prowl she is always trying to please my cousin and they have a really nice relatioship see the difference ofc we cant generealize this but is funny story, that for me has the answer you looking for.



The problem of casual sex: Girls tend to pick that thing right away what are you interested ofc you can deceive her but since you are going to be honest. Girls like sex as much men the only problem that they dont have the society backing them up like we do. Said that there will be girls that will "use you" only for sex some girls will only be interested in your sexual vibe, and you dont have to stick in the morning if you know what i mean, believe me it happens I was a bit shock when happened to me, and on the other hand will be other girls who will need the assurance on your part, there is why exist LMR and other things. If you wanna keep that principle which i find a nice quality just be honest dont feed her lies. dont give her that assurance just take things like they are physical and nothing more l some girls will leave and you cant feel bad that a choice you made. Example: If you pickup a girl in a bar if you dont give her assurance and just go sexual on her, and if she permitted such and act what are you expecting? she is hoping you make her breakfast dont think so.
Some girls wont need that just go sexual on her and dont feed lies.when you see a girl is asking more like a relatioship just tell her the truth tell her that you atracted to her you are sexual being, and you like spending time with her but you are not sure on your feeling see what happens lol..


Hope I ve help im no pro. and sorry for my english this was a long post and im not a english person xD

1. You're asking a bunch of want to be pick up artists on a forum what the "scoop on virginity" is? No one can tell you whether or not virginity is a big thing, it's completely down to you! It's your body, it's your thoughts. If you went out tonight and had sex with a random girl would you feel regret that your first time wasn't with someone you were in a relationship with?
You don't have to wait to give it up if you don't want to or because society says you should (which it doesn't btw).

2. A true pick up artist doesn't voice his triumphs to everyone. Girls, in general, want to be discreet about having one night stands or who they picked up at a club. So be discreet too. I don't mean secret affairs just don't act like a "player" and you don't have to come across as one. You can be the fun, friendly guy that everyone likes but gets laid like a rockstar behind closed doors.
It will be inevitable that you get female attention after you've worked on yourself and PUA for a while. This attention will most likely get noticed but that won't be a bad thing. Human beings in general want things that we can not have. If a girl sees you laughing, having fun with other girls then she's going to wonder why you're not paying any attention to her and vie for your attention. Also the other girls being with you shows them you aren't creep and that other woman like you so you're preselected to be a prospective mate (in animalistic terms).

In a relationship it would be best not to bring up your sexual history if you've been pretty active but if they truly like you it won't stop them from loving you, wanting to marry you etc. As for if you want a girl that's done the same then again that's for you to answer. Would it bother you that the woman you're marrying has been with lots of guys? Why? At the end of it all it's normally an inner game issue. What if they were better than me in bed? Why am I not so special that she'd only give herself to me? Get over yourself. Also, who's to say that she can't be "classy, sophisticated" etc. after sleeping with a lot of guys? Especially "smart" and "sensible", like those qualities deteriorate the more sex you have?

3. How is casual sex a problem? A PUA should have a philosophy to always be honest. That means you don't go back to theirs, have sex and act like you're all loving, caring and want to form a relationship then never talk to them again. However, if after you've made out with them in the club you make it very clear to them that you're after a good time but nothing too serious and they AGREE (shock horror some girls might just want casual sex too without a relationship) then no one is getting hurt. You both know what this is, it's casual sex that you both want without any strings attached.
If after talking to them, they don't want that then gracefully part ways and find someone else who does. How do you communicate it? Be honest! Say you aren't looking for anything too serious, you really enjoy the fun you have together and hope it will continue but you'd understand if she doesn't want to continue (best to do this right after you've built a lot of sexual tension).

Hope this helps.