I apologize fore it being long, but I wanted to accurately describe the situation.

I messaged this girl online, through MySpace (back when it was relevant lol) and I forgot what I said but I complimented her and gave her my number. She later texted me and we have been texting ever since, not anything routine or serious. The girl is absolutely gorgeous but I am not all over her or doing anything that would make me come off as intimidated or desperate.

I am sure she has guys complimenting her and probably trying to date her all the time so I have done things to disassociate myself from them.
I have delayed meeting with her in person because I am stupid and self conscious lol and wanted to lose some weight before I did so. I know I am stupid lol you can tell me and like I said I am a work in progress.

She had a long distance (out of the country) relationship that ended right around December of last year. Her interest rose around that time and continued to rise after. Her Birthday was January 30th of last year and I sent her a fruit bouquet. She immediately called me when she got it, I purposely didn’t answer lol but she left a real good voicemail. By this I mean you could tell she was excited and surprised by it and asked me to call her back. I called back and had a good conversation with her. Also, I purposely missed her Birthday party which was that weekend in Dallas where I live, she lives two hours away.

We continued to talk occasionally through text after that. Before Valentine's Day she posted some suspicious FB statuses. I forget exactly what they said but I remember her implying that she was hoping on getting something and jokingly said she liked chocolate covered strawberries (which I sent her as part of the fruit bouquet). For some reason, I assumed she was trying to give hints to another guy, since I live two hours way and have not met her in person. I also remember bringing up Valentine’s Day in a conversation and her telling me that she was going to spend it with her mom. I jokingly told her that she was a liar and that I am sure she had a line of guys trying to take her out. She responded that had some but none of them interested her. To my surprise I received a txt message from her on the morning of Valentine’s; she said that she came to Dallas the night before and went out with friends. She told me that the friend she stayed with had gone to work and she was home alone and was not feeling too good because she had drinks last night and did not sleep well. Basically, she was implying “hey I am in the city you live in. I am alone and have nothing to do” on Valentine’s Day. Like I said I was surprised by it but I was excited because it showed to me that she was interested (or at least I think so.) I also wondered if I was the guy she was trying to give hints to on FB. Well, I ended up talking to her on the phone that morning and had a good conversation; she was acting kind of shy actually. I told her I had to work and used that as an excuse to avoid seeing her, because of my insecurities. (Stupid) We ended up agreeing to have dinner another time, when she came to Dallas or went back home but that never happened.

She ended up getting a boyfriend, sometime after that and we still have not met in person!!! I know I can only blame myself because I did not act when I had the chance. She is still someone I would consider dating, in fact, she is at the top of the list.
We still txt and communicate on FB, although not as much, she used to like and comment almost everything I posted on FB. (This might be irrelevant but there is an App on FB that ranks your “fans”, she was my #1 for a while.) I have texted her and not received a response, but then she’ll randomly text me later. As a result I have decided to seek advice, which led me to this site. I want to be smart about this and take more of a proactive approach. My goal is to rebuild or develop a relationship or attraction between us and position myself to be at an advantage when she becomes single again.

I say that without hesitation because I can almost assure you that she will eventually be single. She has a bad habit of posting her feelings as statuses on FB, which I don’t like but I have used that to my advantage and gained insight on her and her relationship. Her status a few days ago was “heartbroken” and the one before that was “Confused” and her bf commented apologizing.
She texted me a week ago, actually one of those corny fwd messages but I played along and replied. That obviously brought her to my attention and that is the exact moment, where I decided that I really need to find a way to eventually have a great relationship with this girl. I talked to my friend and got some advice and I also have been researching.

I did my first “smart move” by effectively complimenting her; she does some promo modeling work on the side and posted pictures on FB. After reading some advice, I sent her a specified compliment, I said “I see you doing the modeling thing again; it makes me want to buy a ticket to Vegas.” (She was doing a promo for Las Vegas traveling), she liked it and replied, and then I told her that I was happy to see her modeling again because I know that is what she likes doing. She replied again but I decided to stop texting her, and leave a good last impression for now. *Note- In a previous conversation, she told me that she enjoys modeling and wants to be a TV reporter but she feels that her family and friends don’t support her.
Today I get on FB and I see her status-

“Sooo I get up this morning to find out someone broke into my car! ;( damn to those who did it!!! “

I want to comment or message her something to cheer her up and help my cause as well, I did a google search which led me to this site. The best advice I found so far is either to not say anything to avoid being associated with something negative or to say something along the lines as, “that sucks , that happened to me before and show her that you understand and are there for support.”

I want to get your opinion on that specific question and on the situation in general.

Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Like I said I think the girls is gorgeous and I can see myself in a relationship with her more than any other girl I met. So I am making an effort to make that happen. If I could ask for one favor, it would be if you could please not answer the question like my friend lol. He basically told me; well you should have done this and this and this at the beginning. I had to explain to him that I do not own a time machine and I was unable to travel back in time before gave me relevant advice. Also know that I am not emotionally attached to this girl and I am not setting myself up for heartbreak by “waiting” for this girl. I am living my life and would continue to do so, it just happens to be that this girl stands out to me and I would like to make up for previous mistakes and make the best out of the situation.

Thanks

Notes that might help:
On my insecurities, I used to weight 360 and now I weigh 230, been as low as 200.


I am working on completely overcoming them; I am real good at hiding them but at times they do prevent me from making a move.

Although we have never met in person and have taken it real slow, I feel like it has helped because we have gotten to know each other pretty good and she has opened up to me about more personal issues.

I keep her laughing and she has come to me for advice and encouragement.

I don’t like this but she kind of seems like one of those girls who are always in a relationship, like they break up and get into one rather fast. If anything I am the exact opposite, I am career minded and don’t have much time for games which most relationships are).

I'm disappointed, the topic title is misleading, that was not interesting at all.

haha! just kidding there!

I'm sure you'll get the advice you need on this forum, no sweat!

Sean,

I thought it was interesting!!! lol, yeah by that I mean the circumstances involved.

Like if I had met the girl or knew some of her friends I would be in, also I will admit that her being so attractive to me, makes me want to make sure my approach is right lol.

Just wanted to add,

Although I am new to this, I have read the Art of Seduction and articles online. Again I want to stress that I DO talk to other women, I am not just waiting for this one lol. I do however want to try and get this one, so I am figuring out the best approach.

To me, you have "girls you sleep with" (95%) and "relationship girls" (5%), this is a relationship type of girl so I want to make sure I am on my game.

Also I am looking for BF destroyers but all the ones I have found are for initial meetings, I am trying to read up on some I can use on someone when you already know she has BF.

Bump,

I know it's long lol

trying to figure out what I need to work on though.

Thank you all

So let's start with the positives.

1. You've been trying to lose weight. Good, well done, Keep it up.
2. You've attempted to carry on an interaction with a woman
3. You've come here for advice.

Now, I'm sure you heard it from your friend, but if you want to LEARN, you have to look at your mistakes first and then make sure you don't repeat them.

1. This girl was clearly interested in you, romantically, you knew this.
2. You kept blowing her off - WHY? Why did you purposefully not answer calls, go see her on her birthday, meet her on valentines? WHY DID YOU DO THIS?
3. Your entire "relationship" revolves around facebook statuses and texts. This shit is FUCKING GAY.

I honestly don't know how she was romantically interested in you in the first place, but given what I've read I can almost 100% guarantee you that you are deep in the friendzone at this point. We all know the friendzone song by now, guys, so all together now!

FREEZE HER OUR
GAME OTHER WOMEN
INVITE HER OUT TO SOMETHING FUN IN A WEEK OR SO
KINO ESCALATE USING PUSH/PULL

Get off of myspace and facebook, actually MEET WOMEN IN PERSON, and don't be such a little bitch next time.

_________________
SEX Technique Material http://bit.ly/iFdky0

FREE PDF w Openers, Date ideas and Videos on Direct: http://www.sashapua.com

Thank you for the reply,

I weighed 360 when I was 17, 200 at 19 and I am 230 now. 23

The reason I hesitated is primarily because of my insecurities with that but they showed more then ever with her.

Basically, I thought I was ugly till I was 19 and then I realized that a good portion of women actually find me attractive.

I have been lucky that some women have come to me, my insecurities show slightly when I go after a a women (usually like a 7 or a and they where really shown with this girl which I consider a 9. (No woman is a perfect 10 IMHO)

I play a really good front though, if you ask her she would say I am confident. I have read the 48 Laws of Power, Art of Seduction and other self help books that have helped me with that. I agree with you on everything though; I clearly messed up and that is why I am here to learn.

Oh and I know the whole FB and texting thing is gay lol, she lives two hours away in my hometown and I bullshitted and avoided meeting her so I kind of made it that way myself. Definitely plan on doing things differently now.

I have a question though, why would you say I am in the friend zone? I have been cautious about avoiding this, I limit my contact and make it just enough to stay relevant. I never told her I liked her or nothing like that but I did and said things to make her wonder, kind of followed the art of seduction with this one.

I am starting the 60 years of challenge method and will apply it as I read. I tried looking up freeze out game and I found a article by Jesse Charger and the only thing I want to add is that, this will be kind of hard to apply because we don't keep contact enough for it to work. At least I don't think so? I mean I could completely ignore her, what I have been doing lately is just replying to her texts or giving her a compliment but maybe once every two or three months and I know it sounds gay but l like or comment her status sparingly as well. Should I cut all that off completely? I wont have a problem with the rest of your advice.

Also I want to add this:

I don't want a gold digger first of all, so I am not saying this to use it in the wrong way. But one of the things that has helped me out in the girls department is that I am pretty mature for my age.

I am 23 and most girls my age (she is 22 by the way) are really impressed when the career subject comes up. I am educated working on a Masters, I work as an MWD Field Engineer in the Oil and Gas Industry, I make pretty good money especially for someone my age and I have always been one to handle my responsibilities. I have big dreams in life and I actually back them up.

Now I never mention this unless it comes up in conversation because like I said I don't want a gold digger and I am not one to brag and don't want to come off as someone that does. I have found that it is kind of part of my reputation though, I had a girl tell me that she asked a mutual friend (girl btw) about me, she described me as real smart and that she didn't know exactly what I did but she knew it was something good and that I handled my responsibilities. I kind of do the whole mysterious thing, where I really don't tell em shit lol. It has always been part of my personality in a way but I used to come off wrong with it, people either thought I was shy, stuck up or rude so I worked on it. I polished it with the help of Self Help books like How To Influence and Talk to People. I have always been polite and respectable and I am know more sociable and better at meeting and communicating with people. I have trained myself to listen far more then I talk; really only a handful of close friends know about details in my life.

I don't smoke and I have never been drunk. I used to not drink at all but now I will have a drink to be social, I found that not drinking completely is also not a good look.

Thanks again

bump

just put it all out there man. leave your comfort zone and just show up on her door step!

the way i see it is you have two choices...

the first being tip toe around and try and slither your way in (just hoping for a chance at her that may never come, which in reality will just prolong your treacherous journey)

or....

make that shit happen yourself! just say fuck it and do something crazy!

(this may only work in movies though, so let me know how it goes lol)

just look at it this way, if you put yourself out there and she says no, then at least you know, and can start to get over it, if she says yes, then fuckin eh! right?

comfort zone? what comfort zone!! just remember... something BIG, and something out of YOUR ordinary

btw.. that thing you said about not having any emotional attachment to her.... its bullshit and we all know it!! haha. by the sounds of it you have put in way too much effort and thought way to much about it for it not to be emotional.

best of luck to ya man!

lol, gotcha

on the no emotional attachement, it's true.

To me it's more so, I fucked up with a really good looking girl that liked me, what can I do to make up for it?

oneitis just sound so obsesses and emotional to me lol