So I have a pretty close friend at work (shes just a friend yeah I would like to sleep with her but her life has way to much drama)

I was explaining to her how I was going out with a girl, hadnt seen her in 3 years and she used to date a ex friend of mine (havent seen him in 4 years).

She than made the comment that I need to "go out and find new girls" heres the thing when people associate picking up girls the thoughts go to bars and clubs. the problem with this is:

I do not drink ( last time I was kicked out of a club for not drinking )

I do not dance

I cannot stand the SPAM, and the women that go to these places... seem really artificial.

SO after I told her my feelings she said well good luck you need confidence. (I didnt go into details why I hate clubs with her I just said I don't like going had my reasons and that was that.)

First off... I hate when women say that, I need confidence, with what women? I don't think so. I can hold a conversation with anyone, its a natural ability of mine.

(probably something I developed at work, I work at a call center and I solve IT related issues, I talk to all sorts of people, and I can build repoire with anyone as I have to its part of my job)

However, I have been placed into the friend zone so many times its not even funny when I was in high school I seen many beautiful girls, never approached them as in high school you learn there are different classes, I always felt out of there league. I tried with a few cute girls but was friend zoned as I tried being the "nice guy". so in college I tried being the asshole, that got me smacked upside the head a few times and never got into any girls pants.

it wasnt until outside of college, I had just gotten my first decent job, I had become a part of a drag racing team and lost all focus on women. didnt care.

Then I met her, my first long term relationship. she was the racing teams manger's sister. never paid her any attention never said hi to her was really distant. then one day I was at there house and she threw a ball that hit me in the eye. ( she was shocked said sorry and went to get me ice ) when she went to get ice I had the ball in my lap I threw it and hit her in the ass. and in a asshole like tone said... "fairs fair"

after that she had a crush on me we went out a few times, we started dating and well we were together for a year.

According to my friends they have seen women flirt with me and I apparently never seem to notice. ever.

I was with my friend Heather, we were at a liquor store I had just turned 18 so I was in there buying a bottle of vodka, the clerk was a cute girl, she was making small talk I just kinda nodded my head handed her my cash and walked outside.

When i got outside my friend Heather came up to me and said... "wow... she was totally flirting with you", I stopped in my tracks and said "who?" she replied "The girl in the liquor store"

so, I have to ask... do I need confidence, or open my eyes? was my ex throwing the ball at me her attempt to say "hello im over here!"?

sorry about the wall of text, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm a straight speaker, so I'm going to say it how it is, your lacking confidence, and yes, you'll gain this by opening your eyes and experimenting.

Your ex wanted your attention, use that for the future. Just shows, women like cheek, someone who is prepared to take chances, you threw the ball back at her, it hit her and your reply was good.

PUA, finding women isn't just about clubs and bars, use day-game, have you tried it? This may really suit you seen as your job requires you to communicate with strangers a lot, even if it's on the phone it can be translated into person, you've already pin-pointed that you can strike conversation with anyone, use that to your advantage.

So yeah, open your eyes a bit more, and think higher of yourself, sometimes we just need a lucky break in life, just the once and it puts us on a great roll. I sense yours is around the corner.

Chelios

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

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