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Good post.
I would slightly modify your conclusion though. It's not that attraction doesn't matter AT ALL. It does. It's just that it's not ENOUGH on its own to guarantee the close.
Basically the mainstream stuff teaches guys who cannot build any attraction how to do so. The trap is to emphasise the DHV, neg, etc. and overgame in attraction because it's new and exciting and fun. You can end up becoming a dancing monkey, or a wall of DHVs and actually lose attraction because you raise your value TOO much.
If attraction is like a spark, then a lot of PU stuff taken too far is like pouring petrol everywhere and lighting a match - you get a huge pyrotechnics display for a minute, and then it's all over.
Sexual tension and good midgame in general is about taking even just a tiny ember and keeping lit and making it burn stronger and longer and fiercer as time goes on. That takes skill and patience, calibration and understanding.
The way I see it, the mainstream stuff distracts us from understanding what attraction really is. I once had a long conversation with a prominent mASF member (who shall remain unnamed) about attraction and I learned that what most people think of attraction (DHVs, etc.) aren't actually about attraction at all. That shit is about
comfort.
If you demonstrate high value, if you show that you're a cool guy who can do cool tricks, etc., you're basically making her more comfortable with the idea of being associated with you in any way. Can anyone here actually tell me how DHVing generates
attraction? In order to do that, you'll have to tell me what attraction means. You'll probably come up with a definition like "something that makes her want to have sex with me," in which case that would mean attraction = sexual arousal.
A woman won't feel
comfortable with feeling sexual arousal around a guy who's unpopular and looked down on by everyone else, but she can still feel that arousal. The mainstream attraction techniques actually address sexual comfort, and have little to do with attraction itself.
So, using those mainstream attraction techniques aren't like a spark or fuel at all; it's just providing oxygen for the flame to survive. Metaphorically speaking, these mainstream PUAs are going around providing all the oxygen in the world while only
accidentally lighting a spark here and there.
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Blondguy, I cannot agree with you more. It is so interesting to read many of the post from most of these advanced PUAs who claim that success is so easily attainable with X method. It is almost as if they forget the importance of taking those baby steps so that you actually learn every step of the way.
Now, Chief, I dont advocate being a lil b*tch and not going out sarging so that one can calibrate and become better; it's just that many times I notice a person who has had success argue that what they did before was BS compared to what they are doing now. I am sure that it is. But have you ever considered the fact that you are who you are because you dealt with your shortcomings a certain way, calibrating what you were learning into your being? Basically, you needed to go through a certain amount of X,Y, and Z, before you can actually benefit from whatever method you are using now. I mean, I started with MM, quickly noticing the shortcomings there, then I read some GWM and DiVinCarlo. I noticed that one needs to take the best of each and incorporate it into your being so that you are congruent and flexible.
But I notice that because I never spoke to strangers, MM was probably best to start with. Then GWM and DiVinCarlo helped with the more direct aspects of my game, while strengthening my inner game.
I have read 60 Years Challenge's article. It was good, but before that kind of game is effective for me, I need to sift through other material and sarge away to improve my overall game.
Chief, tell me what you think about my overall idea on how I am learning this PUA skill. (I would really appreciate your input)
Vin DiCarlo*
This is actually a very interesting argument. While a lot of people consider MM to be a practical stepping stone for beginners, I considered my experience with MM to be a big fat waste of time. The core of my argument is that MM teaches an incredibly inefficient view of attraction. Even if someone is a newbie who has trouble speaking to strangers, the fact that he is led to believe that he should worry about his value and run all those mainstream attraction techniques distracts him from the lesson that there is a big difference between being social and being seductive.
Sure, you might argue that being social is a good prerequisite to being seductive, but why go through the trouble of using a method that disillusions you with inefficient beliefs about attraction just to become more social? It seems to me that reading and applying something like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie is a better choice for that purpose. When it comes to pickup, though, it's unfair for all these guys to waste a ton of time and effort chasing high value and other things that actually have more to do with
comfort in hopes of getting their dick wet when they should be focusing on sexual tension and escalation in order to achieve that goal. The mainstream techniques are, for the most part, unnecessary to anyone.
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one big issue I would have with your theory here (looking at past experience), is that this also has the potential to lead to LMR if you don't take active steps to eliminate LMR before it happens.
It really doesn't take a lot to prevent and/or deal with LMR. You certainly don't need what the mainstream calls "solid game" to do this. You mostly just have to make sure the girl doesn't feel "tricked" into being seduced... you know... that feeling girls get when they've been pulled to the seduction location with indirect game...
In my experience, if the girl feels consistent sexual tension all the way to closing time, the most LMR you'll ever get is token resistance. Now, this is in the absence of ASD. And, in order to get rid of that ASD a lot of times all you need to do is to let her know that you're a discreet guy. Compare that to preparing a 7-hour long routine stack.
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although im pretty new to all this; DHVs ive kinda noticed are a good way to just get a girls attention
Everyone, keep a close eye on this shahanshah guy. He's been learning the right shit faster than anyone I've ever seen.
Do you go sarging every fucking night or something?
By the way, you forgot to mention that attention does not equal attraction
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do you think cold reads can be used to create/escalate sexual tension? or are they unneeded.
Cold reads, like the rest of the mainstream attraction techniques, do not directly address sexual tension or escalation. It's just cool shit to do. Things like sexual state, SECT, sexual frame, silence, triangular gazing, etc. address sexual tension.
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It makes a lot of sense, just think about it two seconds : How would the naturals who don't know anything about the game seduce their targets? They don't do any routines, they create sexual tension naturally, that's what works.
And, of course, the disadvantage of trying to understand how this is done "naturally" is that it's fucking hard to do since the naturals have trouble explaining their methods. It's not so productive to say "they do it naturally" when AFCs are lost in a cloud of confusion.
These "naturals" create sexual tension through the use of sexual state and sexual frames, one or the other or both.