the appeal of the "bad boy" stereotype



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 5:07 am 
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So, I don't know if this issue has been driven into the ground completely yet in the PUA community, but just in case it hasn't, I want to explain the topic in depth.

First, let's define what exactly we mean when we talk about the "bad boy" stereotype. He's aggressive, assertive, often rude, is unapologetically sexual, and engages in risky behavior often.

Those are the general "core" aspects of being a "bad boy." They are self-determined and are guided by their emotions/ impulses.

Why on earth is this a "sexy" stereotype to women? I think it's because of natural selection, in all honesty. I think those genes (on the guy's side, to behave that way, and on the girl's side, to find it attractive) have essentially won out over the course of history.

Guys who sit around and wait for a woman to undress herself and beg him to have sex with her are going to see less action than an aggressive/ assertive guy. So, those genes get perpetuated. The ones who listen to their desires and impulses (instead of ignorning or judging themselves for them) and aren't embarassed by them are going to go looking for sex more than the ones who repress.

So, I think the "bad boy genes" are more likely to perpetuate themselves into the general population, and therefore exert more force in the sexual market place. Our primitive brains are programmed to recognize behavior patterns that are naturally adaptive... at least in my opinion.

In any case, I think that a VERY STRONG CASE can be made for competing drives within people in general. In our society, I think that there is an element among most women that says "good girls save sex for special relationships." Within the INDIVIDUAL female, though, her biology is saying, "I want to have sex. I want to reproduce!" That is why in the group setting, girls will be proper. Speaking generally, they are not going to behave like a slut or talk a lot about sex. Certainly not in mixed company, anyways.

So we end up dealing with multiple parts of the female personality- "the good girl" part, that wants to please people, wants to come across as friendly, wants to be accepted by peers and society, and resists sexual escalation from a man that isn't likely to stick around and be a daddy. However, the "bad girl" part doesn't give two shits about pleasing people, and will do whatever it takes to make sure #1 (herself) gets taken care of.

I should add, as a side commentary, that both of these "parts" of the female personality are vital, and in a healthy women they should be talking to each other. You DO need to take care of yourself, and you DO need to care what other people think, on some level... or at least be willing to hear other people out.

The reason that "bad boys" build attraction is because they speak to the sexual, stimulation-seeking side of a woman. On an primal level, they realize the sexual value of "bad boys." Although the "good girl" part of a female might not like aspects of the "bad boy," it realizes that at least it can blame the guy for whatever sexual escalation takes place. Sure, it's unfair to place all the blame on the guy, but if it saves face for her, then she will do it. This is why GUYS HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ESCALATING! It's ok, take the blame. Let her rationalize all she wants. Meanwhile, the "bad girl" part of her is being pleased and satisfied. It CRAVES the sexual attention you are giving!

I have listened to Gambler's ideas about escalation. One thing he teaches that I agree with 100% is that you need to speak to BOTH parts of the female psyche. Don't make a girl look like a slut in front of other people. But DO escalate physically... in a discrete location, of course.

There you have my thoughts on the "bad boy" stereotype.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:49 am 
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As mystery described it. The badboy will have a higher chance of beating up her enemies and protect her self and her babies when it come to surviving. This is hardwired into our brains and its nothing thats gonna change in the near future.

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- "Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face and I will bed the Queen of France" - Voltaire

Im from Sweden so sorry for any grammar or spelling misstakes.


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 3:30 am 
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Joined: Sun Aug 15, 2010 1:09 am
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Location: Bethesda MD
Bad Boys are masculine. And thats basically what women are attracted to. Most women don't want to date other women.. they want to date "men" and bad boys come off more as "real men" than nice guys.

Just like hot women come off more as "real women" than fat ugly women with deep voices who can beat you in an arm wrestle.

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Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think


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