| So... I am going to post what will hopefully be a LOT of detail about a woman I tried to lay, but ultimately failed in doing so. PLEASE LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!!! I am rather pissed at myself, and I would hate for this lesson to repeat itself in your own life.
The story starts like this: I meet this woman, who I would rate as at least an HB 8, at the gym. I'm talking to my guy friend, she interrupts the conversation and asks me questions about me (IOIs). We flirt just a little. She looks in her early 30s, but as I would later find out, she's about to turn 38. Instead of gaming her at the gym, I don't follow up. I assume she's married, because she's hot and in her 30s.
A few days go by, and I see she has posted something on my friend's FB wall. So, I check her out on FB. She's divorced with several kids. I still think she's hot and I am hoping I can get a chance to get to know and have sex with her. So, I click the "add friend" on her.
About an hour passes and she adds me. She leaves a message on my FB wall saying, "Hey, your profile pic is funny. Makes me laugh... next time you want to get a new profile pic you should let me take the pic. Was nice meeting you." Something like that. She's IOIing me hugely.
So I put a cocky/funny reply up to her message, basically saying, "You think you can do better than my current pic? That's like looking at the Cistene(sp?) Chapel's ceiling and saying, 'I could do better.'" Just being playful and stuff.
THEN things start heating up, we end up exchanging some private e-mails. I tell her I'm good at giving massages, or something. She tells ME, "How about a butt massage? That's where I'm sore from running." I wanted to avoid looking overly sex-craved and say "Well, be careful what you wish for, you might get it..." So, there's a little bit of sexual escalation going on for both of us, I've established a fun/ flirty vibe, which she has bought into. Things are seeming pretty good so far.
We set up a date to go hiking in a park not far from where the two of us live. She knows the area a bit better than I, so she's kinda leading the hike. We find a nice, semi-secluded area by a small stream. It's shaded (this was on a hot day in late August). We take out the food and drinks I have been carrying in the back-pack. I spread out a little blanket type thing. We eat, we talk. I begin shoulder-and-back massaging her while we talk. She's like, "Now it's my turn." We switch spots, and she's massaging me, doing a damn good job. Kino escalation so far: massaging her back and shoulders, and pulling on her hair from time to time (she likes). She does same to me, and it feels fantastic. She says something really vulnerable, I lean in and kiss her. We kiss a few times, she says "You're a good kisser." We go back to kissing... then we stop for a bit. A little more talking resumes, I go in for more kisses, we kiss some more. She whispers, "we should get out of here..." I agree. The only reason I agree is because I think I've established a good sexual vibe to our interaction and I want to resume it back at her place when I bring her back home. Besides that, we are on a walking/ running trail kinda, and there are people coming through every so often. Not a good place to be having sex or escalating aggressively.
So we walk back to the car, we get some shaved ice cones on the way back to her place. Fun/ flirty vibe still very present. We get to her place. I ask if I can come in for a bit. We start talking, put some music on in the background. Not too long and we start making out again. We keep kissing and then she pulls back and says, "I'm not used to kissing on the first date." I didn't really say anything to that (probably should have). We kiss some more, she pulls back and says, "I'm ok with making out, but I just don't want to rush into anything. Sorry, I just don't want you to expect something..." I'm like, "I don't expect anything out of you. I'm just having fun and enjoying this moment." We kiss some more, we talk some more. More kino escalation. I start touching her. My hand is up her shirt, just rubbing her and brushing up against her bra every so often, pulling on it, etc. but not taking it off. I ask her if she wants that butt massage still. She says yes. I am massaging her butt, starting with the sore butt cheek, moving to the other butt cheek. She's says, "Hey, that's not the sore one (in a playful voice)." I stop massaging that cheek. Eventually we get back up and start talking again. She's obviously pretty turned on. We both are. She says something like, "It's been 6 months since the last time I had sex... that's a long time." I agree, but don't escalate. Eventually the conversation starts dying down, and she's like "Well, I gotta do X now. It was great being with you. I've really enjoyed today."
Everything that has happened between me and this girl since then has essentially been damage control. She lost interest pretty quickly. We lost the sexual tone to our conversations. I haven't heard from her via text in about a week. So... what's the take away lesson from this failed attempt to have sex with a VERY hot woman who was demonstrating plenty of sexual interest?
1) Take control of the date. I think I made a big mistake by not knowing the logistics of the location we were going to be for our date. You lead the date, you have the plan.
2) One thing I have learned via this experience is: DON'T COMPLIMENT A WOMAN ON HER LOOKS UNLESS YOU'RE IN BED WITH HER OR AFTER YOU'VE HAD SEX! I complimented her a couple times off-hand about her looks. It comes off as, "I'm trying real hard to make you feel good." Save your compliments for things about her personality, outlook on life, attitudes, or her taste in music. For the love of god, don't make it about her looks.
3) If you've got a good thing going, you've been escalating and she seems turned on, keep going!! It doesn't matter if she has said, "I don't want to jump into something too quick." That's just an excuse she's making for herself and to not look like a slut. Be the man, keep escalating. If you want to have sex with her, DO IT! If she flat out says, "No!" or "Stop!" then don't go any further. But don't let a little bit of timidity on her part scare you off. It's just her way of saving face when she looks back on the incident. "Token resistance" I believe it's called.
4) Build plenty of comfort before you start getting physical.
5) Try to go after girls that don't have a bunch of religious hang-ups about sex. Make sure that the frame you set for the sex is that it's a fun and healthy thing that you like to do, and you feel plenty comfortable about getting sexual with girls. This can be hard to do if the woman you have your sights on thinks that sex is this super-special thing that only married people should do (this woman was ex-hard core LDS). Really try to screen for sexual confidence and comfort in the women you pursue.
That's all for now... hope to god you learned something from this experience. If you want to give me shit for not escalating and being a man, feel free. I am having a hard time forgiving me for letting this one slip through my fingers. Wow she was smoking...
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CHAT
