Thoughts on this newsletter advice? (Carlos Xuma)



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:26 pm 
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Joined: Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:00 pm
Posts: 54
This is the first time I've really heard someone say to call them out on something. Felt a little ... confused.
Quote:
Let me give you the classic example. See if
this sounds familiar to you.

Here you are. You're hanging out with a
woman you've been out with three or four
times. You're getting along great, and you
know it. You're having a good time with her.

Then, all of a sudden, she gets scared (which
ALWAYS happens). Maybe she all of a sudden
stops calling you. Maybe she doesn't text
you back right away. Maybe she hesitates
about getting together.

What do you do? You let your ego step in to
protect you. Your ego goes to work
protecting you, and you say to yourself
"Screw it. This isn't going to work out."

What's REALLY going on, is that your ego was
just protecting you from becoming even more
vulnerable. THEN what happens next is that
you RATIONALIZE the situation to yourself by
doing things like submerging yourself in your
work.

Sounding like anyone you know?! The truth is
that your ego is just trying to protect you
the whole time.

Not missing that great relationship might
just take one more phone call. Call that
person out and say to them, "Hey, what's
going on? I don't get it. You and I were
having a good time, and then you disappear.
What's up?

By calling somebody out on their shit, you're
going to get a response that will be FAR
different than you ever imagined. Maybe she
just needed that extra push. Women like to
feel safe.


Maybe she did get a little bit scared. When
a woman gets scared, what does she want? She
wants to be protected by her man.

A real man is going to make her feel
protected and make her feel safe. That's
what women are craving ń that feeling of
safety and security. Women are nesters.

Women are looking at you as a potential
husband or father, and they want to feel very
safe. By you saying "screw it" and just
walking away at the first little sign of
possible rejection, you proved to her that
that little doubt that she had about you was
100% correct.

You walked away from a woman who wanted you.
WHY?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:38 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2007 2:35 pm
Posts: 2091
Website: http://www.sashapua.com
Location: London
I wouldn't say you should call a girl out really ever, unless it's calling her out for hitting on you too obviously when you're gaming her, or if she's doing something you really don't like and you're in a relationship with her.

However, there's nothing wrong with reaching back out to a girl who's been ignoring you, as long as you've left a little freeze-out time and you're inviting her to something fun and unique and providing value and a good time.

If she STILL ignores you then just move on, but don't delete her number. You'd be surprised how a girl you thought was totally ignoring you will get back to you months later asking what's up because she was just busy or went on holiday or something.

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