Hi guys

Fresher's week is coming to a close at my uni and i'm in trouble. For one thing, I have yet to lock down an inner circle. It won't be hard for me to join one though, because I've got a damn good outer circle - i've made a point of introducing myself to pretty much everyone in my halls of residence. (About 50 people in all). I'm good at first impressions, so everyone I meet does act friendly to me when they see me. If I had the ability to join an inner circle, I could do so very easily.

The problem is I DON'T. I don't have the ability to join an inner circle. When I join a group of freshers who are chatting away, I am in NO WAY ALPHA. Other people in the group are alpha. I'm on the sidelines, throwing in the odd joke here and there , which usually gets good laughs...But I'm not making people laugh ALL THE TIME, like the alpha guys are. Other people make the majority of the conversation. Other people make the majority of the jokes. Worse, whenever I talk to people on their own, I have difficulty summoning up any lengthy thread of conversation. Once this becomes apparent, they end up doing most of the work and guiding the conversation.

The only time I can summon up a truly impassioned stream of conversation is when I am talking about politics & philosophy, both of which I am truly passionate about. But there is no way I can have those as my only topics of conversation.
I can feel that the image of me that is being spread around the dorms is of the "nice, normal guy who can be interesting sometimes".

I need to change this and I need to change it NOW. I need to be the one stimulating and creating discussion. I need to be the one that everyone tells their friends about. I need to be alpha.

I already work out, and have joined a few sports societies.
I don't use self-deprecating wit. Nor do I qualify myself or voluntarily DLV.
I am going to attend debating and public speaking workshops at my uni's political society. I may also join a drama society.
My body language needs serious work but I am consciously trying to improve it.

Here are my true college sticking points as I see them:
Talking to both guys and girls like an alpha
Being "the life of the party"


I come to you humbled. Helpless. AFC.

I would truly appreciate anyone's assistance.

To summarise my position....

I am no better or worse than the other "average nice guys" in my halls of residence. I am not a wallflower who stays in their room without talking to anyone. But I always find myself dwarfed by the people who are truly alpha, truly energetic, truly sociable.