Hi, Im 20 years old. I go to college i am well aware of what it takes to be a master pick up artist i havent done so bad myself however I have hit a serious ruff patch and i have no idea what to do and i was hoping somebody could give me good advice.

here is the story

I meant this girl freshman year in college (2 years ago) I did everything correct we hung out and started to grow so close that we literaly talk everyday! for a year and half now there isnt a day that goes by that we havent talk to each other. She kissed me first. And that is how it all started now. this is where the promblem I am missing this semester due to finicial situations she asked me to be her exclusive boyfriend 2 weeks ago. i told her that i wish she did it in person and would love to anwser that in person. She tells me she loves me and she never said that to anyone and it is a big deal to her so in return i told her i loved her and she is the one for me pretty much told her how i feel. 4 days ago we get into a huge argument about nothing and we came to the conclusion that distant is the cause of it in the argument she said she wanted to be my girlfriend and i said i wanted to be her boyfriend. But after the argument resolved and we were actually offical ( we were always offical for the 2 years we just never put a label to it) she said that she still wants me to have fun and doesnt want to pressure me i told her she was pressureing me at all and she told me that the distance has made us both miserable and that we should both be able to kiss people and be okay with it. I agree only because i didnt want her to know i was affected by that because im usally that cocky guy who doesnt give a fuck what the girl does cause i always have another one but i seriously is "in love" with this girl and i dont want to have any other realtionships or kissing anyone i just didnt tell her that. this happen 4 days ago and i keep hopign she doesnt actually kiss anybody else. I understand its college and those things happen but i was crushed that she even had a thought like that. She made it clear they we arent allowed to have sex with anyone else and when im back in janurary she wants to be exclusive and she said this will test are realtionship. but maybe im actually getting jerlous( i dont usally get jelous so i dont know if i am or not) but i secertly think in my head that she wants to kiss somebody at school and that is where all this is coming from. I dont know what to do at all this is the first time a girl has every made me feel like this someone plz help me. (also i took her virginity in college i dont know if that will affect anything just more backround knowledge) so help me out do u think i should tell her how i feel and risk looking like a pussy or should i stick this out and hope she doesnt kiss anyone but i know she will because a few month ago she couldnt even stand me talking to anyone and now she says its okay to kiss people. I have so many thoughts going through my head someone plz help me figure all this out. I am also going to visit her in a week and she telling me how she cant wait to "have me" and im thinking of not even giving her any when i go down there or i dont clearly im a mess plz tell me what u guys think