Double standards against the women I guess.

Interesting exchange between Melissa & Ezo;Im taking notes.

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Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
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To be a bit cynical here, why enter a relationship with a girl if she is going to cheat on you given the chance to? I am not saying girls should be restricted to how many guys they can do, as they should be able to do as many guys as they want to do. But if a girl is going to cheat given the chance while she is in a committed relationship, then why bother getting into one? Girls like guys cheat for a reason. Most of the time people cheat because they are usually not satisfied in their relationship. If a person is that unhappy then why not kill the relationship and be able to do as many people as you want without having to deal with the negatives of cheating?

Seriously.

You think that the ability to cheat is just for some and not for others? That some people cheat and others dont?

Everybody are potential cheaters. If having a lot of partners makes you untrustworthy, then why should any girl even consider being with us?

You cant say that a girl will cheat on you just because she has in the past. Or because she is sexually liberal. She enters a new relationship with new rules, the situation is different. Maybe this time she will get what she needs.

If you buy a python, it might kill you and eat you, or it could make for a great pet. If you keep it well fed it will most likely be nice. If you starve it, it will try to eat you.

Same with a girl, if she gets what she needs, she will be happy. If she doesnt, she will take what you cant provide from somewhere else.

I mean, it seems like we agree on the reasons right.

So maybe its your fault. Maybe every single girl you date is gonna cheat on you because you are lacking something. Maybe instead of just dumping every girl that things are going worse with, you should work on yourself and ask her what she thinks is missing.

That might be useful for the future.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Chilling advise for us men Ezo.

My downfall is relationship management so this can really help.

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

Now Im talking men as in normal men...

PUAs should know better. After all, understanding women is the key to success...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Although I myself am not a proponent of casual sex, I do believe that the double standard regarding men and women's sexuality should cease to exist. As long as everyone is honest, I find it difficult to condemn what other people chose to do sexually.

Ezo is correct when he says that everyone is a potential cheater. I would argue that some personality types are more prone to it than others, but everyone is capable. Personally, I know I'm not the kind of person that anyone would ever have identified as a likely potential cheater. That said, people do change: once a cheater does not equal always a cheater.

In terms of getting into relationships given the reality of the possibility of cheating, getting into a relationship is always a risk. Making a move on someone is always a risk. Applying for a college of a job is always a risk. Eating is always a risk. Heck, even sleeping is a risk. I'm not saying to be stupid about it (one must always strive to perfom a suitable cost-benefit analysis), but am illustrating the reality that no one can ever fully insulate her-or-himself from risk. If you cut yourself off from anything that could cause pain, you also cut yourself off from anything that can actually produce joy.

the one most likely to cheat is the one is getting the least of the relationship and the one who has the most power in the relationship.

If a person is inputting more into a relationship then they are getting out they feel shortchanged leading to disastifaction leading to cheating.

If a person controls the relationship they feel they have a majority of the power they feel they can cheat and get away with it

Put these 2 ideals together and there is a complex relationship between power and input/output. The more power a person has over another the more disastifaction the person being controlled will need to cheat.
A person in power and disatisfied will cheat bc they do not care
A person in power and satisfied will cheat bc they think they can get away will it.

If a couple is power equal and input/output equal neither should cheat according to textbook psych but I feel the man should have a 60/40 on the power.
Also according to txtbook psych physical cheating pisses off a man more bc of parental uncertainty while a women would be more pissed with emotonal cheating/intimacy bc she mite lose resources.
Although these psych txtbook theories have little importance in todays society they were in pre-society and then these ideas transferred into society with pushing for the idea that men need to control women and keep them from physically cheating, hence for almost all history men held the power and women who disoboyed the rules of being a woman were punished, and not since we cannot punish them we label them,
More interestingly is I hear girls calling girls sluts more often than guys perhaps tryin to devalue the girls they are calling sluts, more interestlingly the alpha girl in the group will rarely be called a slut and she is the one who gets the best guys.

As for asking a women whether or not she has a bf the answer is no, having a boyfriend is not a big issue for her till she brings it up.
By bringing up a boyfriend the boyfriend is now consciously on the mind to both. Asking if someone has boyfriend/girlfriend also displays an interest that is VERBALIZED therefore raising her ASD to this mans intentions and lowering her sexual tension bc this has been verbalized.

Note also when a guy here's the words I have a boyfriend most guys frames will bend and unscrew. The first thing that goes through most mens minds is SH*T or F*ck also compunding the problem, the first thought that is preferable to pop up should be soo

Personally I will not ask until its verbalized by her or more usually her friend, the boyfriends friend or occasionally the boyfriend himself comes over.
Theres other girls at the club or party so most of the time I just eject who cares its one set unless the frame of whoever said it is off and I'll call it
When its verbalized by her though it could be a soft rejection
when its verbalized by her friend it could be just a cockblock(forgot to game the friends) many times will pull the girl from the set
When its verbalized by a guy friend it could be a cockblock tho he may like her as well(forgot to game him/amog him) usually a pussy
When a supposed boyfriend says he is the boyfriend, he may be cockblocking as a friend or wants to protect her from you bc he likes her(a real problem with these guys who want to protect their delicate friend) some of these guys have value but they have oneitis with her or some other issue)

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Inner game is the core, outer game is just an expression of it

Wow Jelly,Im surprised that you posted something that want negtive(lol).

Good views though:Im constant-willing learner.

Melissa you're right about the double stand',but doing away with it...?

As a man,I feel that the double standard some what keeps women in checc and more hesitant to fucc around.

Sounds like some masogonistic stuff Im saying but it's vice versa.

I bet women would love that if men had the double standard against us(lol).

It would make many guys hesitant about infidelity and shit.

Maybe Im wrong.

What you think Ezo?

_________________
Most active PUA blog in the community since 2009.
https://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com ... arly-2022/

Now active on YT again with PUA, Red Pill, Manosphere content:
https://youtu.be/tj5rnL_qKfM

60-40 to the guy in the relationship?! Why on earth should men be granted special status in a relationship for the 'priveledge' of how they were born? Men have no more inherent value or worth than women on the basis of gender; there is no reason why they should autonomatically be given preference as the undisputed head of the family.

k-lod--yes, your view is mysogenstic, and I resent it. Men and women should be equally free to sleep or not sleep with as many people as they wish without anachronsitic stereotypes.

Solid thread, well done Melissa, Ezo, k-loc, and Jelly, all solid.

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Just another guy from back in the day.

Blogging again living life: http://www.Scienceofnaturalgame.com

I actually agree with Melissa on some parts. Although, I know you K-loc so I know that you are not a misogynist.

Just my opinion here first and then my take on the discussion, so there are no misunderstandings.
My opinion: I believe that anyone should be able to have sex with anyone they want as long as nobody gets hurt or does it against her or his will. I myself have been labelled polyamorous and I must admit that there is a certain truth to that. I hang around with men and women who are all "bad boys and bad girls" and there are not many people I trust more than them. They are bad from societys point of view, not from mine. From my point of view, they are free, independent and brave. Girls and guys alike. They go for what they want and they dont care if anyone tells them that they are sluts, it is their decision. Ok, they may be sluts but whatever, sluts are great. I am one so I should know.
Society have to evolve as I said before, the same rules doesnt apply anymore. A guy who sleeps around is a manly man and a girl who does the same is a slut. That doesnt make sense to me. The same rules have to apply to us all.

Now the discussion.

Men find it more difficult to find a woman so I would say that thats the reason for them to keep their woman in control. Basically because, if a man and a woman would have an open relationship, the man wouldnt get as much as the woman would. Unless he is among those 5 % of men who actually does. 5% of the men have sex with 95% of the women. So he is afraid.
The term slut and the very concept is an ancient relic from the patriarcial society which believes that a man owns his woman. Somehow this relic is difficult to kill. It stems from insecurities. But I think that it must die. NOW!

People say that everyone should treat each other like they want to be treated, thats bullshit. It should be true but nobody really mean it. They only treat their equals like they want to be treated. Why else does women have lower salaries for the same job a man earns more for. Why else do people treat their subordinates in a bad way. Why else are there so many bosses who treat their workers respectlessly? Because they get awawy with it. Because the others dont have the power to affect their lives.
Everybody in a powerposition does everything they can to keep their privilegies. Noblemen, bosses, men.

K-loc, you know my point of view, what shit I take from a woman and what shit I dont take. This is a general guideline in my life. It doesnt apply only to women. It applies to men as well. Friends, relatives, girls. Same same. I simply dont accept people to treat me in a bad way. If I do, then f them. I have basically the same standards for friends as for girlfriends. Mutual respect.

If a girl Im seeing is being a bitch then fuck her. Im gonna hang out with someone else. Same for guys. If a guy is being a bitch (hehe yeah!) Im gonna hang out with someone else. It is their loss.


I can agree with you K-loc that the slut concept makes girls less prone to sleep around where they can get discovered. But thats about it. If they wanna do it, they will find a way to do it without being caught. This all depends on if we want a society where it is ok to sleep around or not. If not, we are gonna need a similar rule for men, not make them heroes.
I come from the opposite direction, men and women alike should be allowed to sleep around as they like, it is their life and they can decide whatever they want. So My proposal is to see those girls, not as sluts but as heroes. One of my best friend (a girl) (who is cute) is like me, more or less polyamorous. I see her as a hero. She does what she wants and she is not afraid of being a slut. Why should she? She is a player, she is like me. She is my partner in crime. This is the only one I have met in person who can reach my level. The only one I can discuss these kinds of things with. A hero, and a good person.

If I were to have a relationship with her, it would be open. I cannot bear to confine a girl like that to twosomeness just because it would make me feel more manly. I feel manly enough to deal with it. Then of course there is a choice, is it worth it or is it not worth it? So far, it has not been worth it, she is more important as a friend.

Still I dont judge. People judge others for the wrong reasons. They feel that they should have got what someone else got. Like they didnt get what they deserved, that they were cheated of their belonging doing as they said. Thats the problem, their belonging.

If a girl annoys me I will go somewhere else. But I will never ever see her as my belonging who has to obey me.

A relationship is a bond where two different people go together and choose to walk the path of life in the same direction, side by side and help each other on the way. Generally speaking.
A relationship is NOT! the fusion of two people into a singularity where only one directs the path they walk. Thats like being together with yourself, horrible thought, I could never stand myself.

You should coose your partner for her personality and the way she compensates you and makes you stronger, in return you do the same for her. If she needs to be changed in order to fit, go for someone else. You have no right to change her or to demand things from her. A relationship is based on rules that should be the same for you both. Or at least rules that you both agree on.


This is one of the best discussions on this forum for a long time. I really enjoy the input from both you K-loc and from you Melissa. It is very important and interesting as well. These things has to be discussed and most of all between men and women. This is how people start understanding each other.

I can see Melissa that feminism is very important for you (and it should be, break those annoying old patriarcial farts from me too!) and this could explain why you react to K-loc´s posts in this manner. However, as I said, I know K-loc. He is one of the good guys. He is discussing this phenomena and he has got some important things to say. Although he may not be a feminist like you he is definately not a misogynist.

K-loc, my man! Thank you for this post! Awesome job! We are truly fortunate to have Melissa join us in this discussion, we have a lot to learn from her!

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

lol this is so evil..

the idea that someones girlfriend is always a cheat code away from a dick in the mouth leaves me terrified of relationships but your point is very valid sir.

I totally agree with what your saying Ezo. And I wasn't saying anything to what you said really. But more of the stance that all women will cheat if given the chance to. Which I think is a false premise really, becuase as we both said if the girl's needs are meet or exceeded the chances of her cheating is slim to none as she won't want to loose what she has just to have instant gratification with something the has her interest. Also for the record, I never been in an actual relationship. As to why that is, it more has to do with where I live than anything else.

Ezo, I said that his view was mysogenstic, not that he was. I know that it seems like a nitpicky point, but the words that one uses matter--the way in which one condemns either another person or her/his views matters as well. There are people that I would condemn as racists, mysogenists or homophobic, but there are also people whose views I condemn without necessarily extending that condemnation to them as individuals. Except in extreme circumstances, I don't think it's ever helpful to say "oh, you're a racist" or "oh, you're a mysogenist" because it shuts down the conversation and puts people on the defensive. One cannot debate, however, without occassionally condemning other people's viewpoints.

k-loc, you're correct, there are probably women who would love it if the stereotype was reversed and men were condemnd for sleeping around while women were lauded. That wouldn't make it any better: the dicotonmy is still wrong regardless of who it benefits.

This is very true. If take no risks then what can you ever gain in life? The way I look at it when it comes to dating/relationships is it is a business deal or more investing in the stock market. The more you invest in it the more you can potentially get out of it on your return. But the more you put in the more you have to loose, and the more you have to risk because of this. But like any good stock investor you do your homework on the stock before you invest in it because how else do you know if its a good investment or not? You can't know how well it can really perform, but you can get an idea tho.