This might be really off the wall for some of you, but I have a feeling problem and it obviously affects my conversational abilities. Its hard for me to appreciate things. When people are talking, I'm limited in my responses many times. If I'm unexcited, I'll be using throw-away responses ("that's cool"). I'm not a total chump, I'm C&F as often as I can, but I just don't feel as comfortable. The only good conversations I've had were ones that I had some invested feelings in, or passions, and also happened to occur when I've consumed a bit of alcohol. For whatever reason, its hard for me to be in that moment, in that idea, in that feeling something gives you. Its not my hardwired first-response to something. I feel like there's something blocking that part of my brain (i.e. alcohol lowers inhibitions). I'm trying to override it with "feeling" exercises. I normally don't want to go to the beach, but I close my eyes and think of the feeling of sand under my feet, think of my childhood experiences, totally ignoring the apprehension and self-consciousness I would get. It uplifts my mood, but it requires effort, I can't autopilot. See what I'm saying? I feel like what is blocking my free-flowing conversations is my inability to feel as my primary tool for interaction. Its bigger than "pickup", I think its absolutely essential to my success with anybody, much less the fact I can't be in "the zone" if I can't genuinely feel.

Any insight on this?

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

This sounds like something you should investigate with a counselor or psychiatrist. If you're struggling socially due to mental healthy difficulties, pickup could exacerbate the problems you have rather than helping you overcome them.

Good luck man,

Sounds like you have trouble getting into "state." Basically you just need to amp yourself up and get into the zone where you're feeling social and confident. If you're excited about the outcome (the close) you're more likely to be excited about the chase itself. So ask yourself, why aren't you excited to be out there talking to beautiful women?

@Wagon Well I'm pretty positive it is the result of some mild lingering depression I've had for years. I recently read more about it because I concentrated on what I'm struggling with and realized that my inability to enjoy most things, or take the essence from them, isn't normal and depression seems to fit the bill. I really don't want to take meds or spend a fortune for someone to tell me I have some depression. I just want to fight through it. I remember when I first found out about pickup (less than a year ago), I read a little bit, and just went to a party amped and excited, didn't even drink, and I was talking to everyone. I got my first lay just by being confident and happy with myself. I feel like I can't do that anymore, mostly because I have trouble connecting for some reason. That is my goal, to find that reason and fight through it.

@ChiefBx Well getting into state is only a portion of it for me. Even when I'm not gaming, talking to peers who I've known for a while, I just feel like I'm coming off as a drag sometimes because my inability to feel what they're sharing with me doesn't allow me to contribute in a meaningful way.

I work at a clothing store where beautiful women enter about every 2 minutes, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to work there... But I just get into a certain mode where I'm reluctant to game because I know now what my problem is. As a consequence, most of my conversations are not ones that I start or control. But yes, when I'm in "the zone", all of this goes away. I've been in the zone only a few times sober, I'm trying to replicate it. Of course, it might just all be in my head and I only focus on when I fail, which causes more failure from the failure mindstate. Its really confusing at times.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

If you're suffering from depression you shouldn't treat it lightly, not going to the dentist because you don't want to have someone look in your mouth or spend money on SPAM is a donkey move, same thing here.

Medication and psychotherapy are not the only ways to combat depression, here are some suggestions you can implement immediately, but I stand by my recommendation that you see someone for a legit diagnosis and then make your plan.

Depression Busters:

- Exercise: any activity can have an incredible impact on your mood and energy levels. If you're not exercising to some extent every day you're sabatoging yourself. Added bonus: hotter bod

- Vitamins and Minerals: I take Vitamin D and a Multivitamin daily, if you live in a climate with lots of sun and you're out in it regularly (see the first suggestion) you can probably pass on the Vitamin D, but the multivitamin is a must. Added bonus: too many to list, vitamin deficiencies can cause some really fucked up problems.

- Get sufficient sleep: This is different for everyone, recheck your assumptions about how much you think you need, try getting on a regular schedule and really make sleep a priority.

- Cut out depressants: Alcohol is ubiquitous in our culture (mine anyway) but it's a powerful poison, it can make you fat, fuck with your sleep, slow your healing/recovery, and it most definitely can fuck with your mood and energy level. Try not drinking, it's honestly a lot of fun to go out without getting smashed. Added bonus: You can drive her to your place Also, If you use MDMA or similar substances recreationally, try stopping for a few months and see if you notice any improvements.

- Proper nutrition: This goes hand in hand with vitamins, but it's supercharged in both the benefits of getting it right and draw backs of fucking it up. Do you get sufficient calories everyday? Low blood sugar can really mess with how you feel, make sure you're eating often enough so you don't go too long (4-5 hours) without getting some fuel for the tank. Eat vegetables, every day.

Well I take a multivit almost everyday. I don't get a lot of exercise but I'm working almost everyday which is an improvement. I went on a walk a few days ago, felt good, but its been raining lately. I have a 25lb dumbbell I lift when I get bored, but I'm nowhere near jacked. Sleep is a problem for me. I usually wake up before my alarm goes off even if I don't get a lot of sleep. And sometimes I'll sleep for 12 hours. Its weird.

I haven't had a drink in at least a week. I started smoking on my breaks, I do it sometimes to avoid the food court, there is nothing healthy there at all. And no I don't get enough calories anymore, I've been cutting back alot. I've had a really shitty diet most of my life, I'm lucky I'm not a fat ass. My blood sugar has been low lately, gotten a few headaches but trust me, I've had a stomach full of food and I didn't really feel better about myself. I live in a household that doesn't understand the meaning of "eat healthy", so I cut corners where I can.

I just feel so spaced out all the time. Its hard to collect my thoughts. I mean I'm focused, but I can be at work and not think about anything, just work. Its like my personality disappears. It doesn't just happen at work, hanging with some close friends I get that way too. I have no points of reference to convey myself. If that makes any sense... Honestly I don't even know if I'm depressed, I just looked it up and some of the "symptoms" fit me. I look in the mirror everyday and I like who I see, a lot, I used to be a dick about it, but something just isn't there anymore. The genuine enthusiasm is gone, hence "feeling crisis".

But I guess here's what I'll do starting Sunday. Get some healthy food. Get a sleep schedule (put things off for another time if necessary). Try to go on a walk/jog everyday. I'll let you know if I feel any better, and if I get my mojo back, which would be just awesome.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

Don't know what else you want us to tell you, man. Hope you feel better, but to be honest, this is a pickup forum, not a depression forum.

I guess just try to change your lifestyle a little and resolve yourself to be more engaged and interested in life. The best way to get out of depression is to start a self-improvement project like working out and eating right, or something of that nature. If all else fails, see a doctor.

But like I said, you're looking for advice in the wrong place.