How do you keep your hot g/f in check? We've only been dating for less than a week, so I figure that I'ma have to date her for a big longer before she listens. I can't have her running around, being friendly, with my guy friends.

One of my buddy's has his g/f in super check. She doesn't go to parties, she doesn't even say hi to us (Us meaning my buddy's guy friends, which includes me), unless if we say hi first. However, he's been dating her for years so... Hopefully there is a way to keep a g/f in check without dating for a long amount of time.

That sounds more like an escort than a gf... Why can't she be friendly with ur friends? I think u have some trust and personal issues and should look into that before u try and manipulate her

Friendly as in flirting/hugging them, umm no. Imagine one of my buddies come up to me and saying, "Damn that's your girlfriend? She's all over other guys. hahaha." I'm not gonna be the first one out of our group to have a g/f that does w/e she wants.

As I said it is an insecurity you have with urself... For one if she is ur gf she will not be flirting with other guys, if she does then just dump her and move on as you will be unable to change her behavior. Second of all if the fact that she is being friendly to your friends is a problem then you need to find better friends... I don't know why you fear ur gf being friendly wiu ur friends, but that is most likely related to insecurities you have with urself dude...

How I grew up, you do not let your "girl(s) get out of pocket". My image will be damaged. (If that's being insecure, then I'm insecure. I'd rather not be DLV'd) I'm thinking about having a talk with her, if she doesn't comply, cut her off... unless if anyone else has any other alternatives?

Honestly, you haven't even talked to her about it yet?
Wait nevermind, you dont need to talk to her, this is what u do.

This portion of the post has been redacted for a violation of forum rule #3. Eventually, she will learn. Good luck.

I already laid out rules at the beginning... few days later, she tells me, "I broke one of your rules today, some guy walked up to me n gave me a hug". (That has to be a good sign) However, when one of my buddies came along, she was being extra friendly with him, n I froze her out, so I think she got the hint. We'll see the next time I see her. If she doesn't understand, I'll just be direct about it.

Okay, first off, your friend's relationship should not be construed as a model that you aim to emulate. That relationship is unhealthy, and he sounds unbelievably controlling. The idea that she can't go parties or talk to guys because of him is cringe-worthy. Other guys don't stop existing because she's in a relationship--she should be able to talk to other guys without him freaking out, and the same goes for him and other girls.

In your own situation, talk to her about it. Most relationship problems stem from a lack of communication. I know that I'm female, so stereotypically supposed to be better at empathy and all that stuff, but, seriously, men can and should talk about issues in a relationship that are bothering them as well. Deal with it while it's still a little issue--don't let it become a massive one.

It's possible that she's just friendly and somewhat flirtatous by nature. It's also possible that she doesn't consider your relationship to be exclusive or see in in quite the same way that you do. It's possible that she's never been in a relationship before and doesn't realize that her behaviour is inappropriate. My point? You don't know until you talk to her about it.

And the whole freezing her out thing? It will work to some extent, but talking will work better. It's less ambigous--you'll be communicating exactly what upsets you and why. It's also a far more mature way to handle the situation.

There has to be consequences for her breaking your "rules". Her giving hugs and be friendly are just SHIT TESTs that you are failing. How to pass them? Well it'll be hard to salvage, but the next time she does anything, just say "I give 105% trust in my relationships, and when you have it, you have it, but if you lose it, it's gone forever. Breaking "rules" in a relationship breaks that trust."
And honestly, if you gave her rules and she gave you none, then she isn't looking for anything big in this relationship.

After you say that to her, and she does shit anyways, just break up with her, you wont be happy otherwise.

I'm not gonna marry the girl. I'm still gonna keep her as an option, even if she does break the rules lol. N she did give me rules back, so that's good. The last 2 posts were very helpful. Good looking out.

Maybe you live in a country whet this is the norm, but wow, total insecurities in this thread. I want my girl to be NICE too my friends. Of course there is a line and if she is the type to not know that line then get rid of her. And if your friends are egging that kind of behavior from her, find some new friends. Friends should respect that.

You trying to control her is going to make you look insecure, unconfident, and drive your relationship in the ground. Her already telling you she broke your rule is lol in your face basically.

I had gfs before who acted like this and for jealous. Most annoying relationships ever. And they didn't last long with me. I don't put up with that insecure annoying crap.

I largely agree with with the insecurities comment, but disagree about what you g/f admitting that she broke one of your 'rules' constitutes.

In any healthy relationship, the individual people should not be consumed within the overriding 'us.' That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do things together, or occassionally do stuff that one partner enjoys while the other does not, but that a healthy relationship entails 'me' time as well. You want your girlfriend to have a life outside of you: among other things, it puts too much pressure on the relationship for it to be otherwise. You do want a partner to curtail certain behaviours while you're together, but you don't want to ask them to change their entire personality or overly restrict what they do in their free time.

The reality of relationships is that, at some point, even in strong relationships one partner will often slip up and do something that they know the other partner won't agree with. I know that I have. It isn't necessarily kissing or sleeping with someone else, but could be a game of strip poker--for instance--one in which other guys were around and the boyfriend was not, ect. It could be when another guy suddenly either does or tries to kiss her without her consent, and so on. It could be hanging out with a previous flame--something that, in and of itself, isn't cheating, but could make a current boyfriend uncomfortable. In those moments, it isn't a lol moment telling your partner what happened, but actually a mark of respect and a sign of how much they value the relationship. I'm not saying that you should tolerate everything, but be far more worried about the girlfriend who feels like she might be pushing the boundaries without telling you than the one who says, "you know, I messed up and ____ happened."

Melissa, the reason why I said what I did apt what it constitutes is because op said:
This to me doesn't look like she was sincerely fessing up, but rather pushing his buttons or testing him.

Start using jealousy against her. Instead, YOU go talk to other girls. If you have a talk with her, she will feel your insecurity and it will most likely end bad. Being a PUA does include putting yourself above everything else, but you have to do that with brains, not ignorance. So if you act like you really don't care, it can work against you such as doing something so stupid to try and have "a talk" about that with your gf.

But I'm curious about one thing. Why did you ALSO add, "If she doesn't comply, I'll cut her off." Why did think of that bad outcome instead of a good one? I'll tell you why, it's your insecurity getting to you.

You're a damn good dancer right? DANCE with another girl at a party right in front of your gf! And on top of that, other girls will probably come to YOU. You're not enough of a high value for your gf at the moment which is why she flirts with other guys.

Making her jealous is not the solution.

You should never look to change anyone's personality otherwise why are you with them anyway? By giving her rules she's gained insight into what is going to annoy you, low and behold she tested you by saying she broke one of your rules. How did you respond? Because i would have said you only broke one cause i broke several of yours. It's not about controlling how she behaves its about making this girl realise she's struck gold with you and not to do anything that would jeopardise that.