I have tried to make this point before but I think I can summarize it in a comprehensible post now...

As I have told several people, I dont agree that an alpha male doesnt care about anything. He does care when appropriate. It is true that he is selective about women and playing hard to get isnt bad. BUT. Remember that an alpha male is also the protector of loved ones, so he has loved ones, so he cares about something. Yes, that means that he does care, but about selected people and selected things.

So how does he know what he should care about and not? Well, here is my take on it.

Im sure some of you have studied the MM. Now Im not saying abything about if that is good or bad but one thing that I agree with Mystery on is that what we should care about is divided into three cathegories, health, wealth and relationships.

Lets start with health, yeah, both mental and physical health. Of course I wouldnt cut off my hand just to date a girl but I would accept minor injuries such as a "broken nail" (to speak girl) or a bruise or muscle soreness in order to gain something, like a better fit body. I would accept a couple of bruises to protect my wallet or the girl I love. I would not accept permanent damage though.

The same with mental damage, I can accept stuff that will be momentarily annoying but not stuff that will remain forever.

Same thing with wealth, If Im mugged and I carry like 20 dollars, I dont care, I give the guy my wallet. On the other hand, if Im carrying a lot of cash I may consider defending myself.

So here two damages are put against each other, physical vs economical. A major physical damage against a minor economical one, which one do you think that I will choose? THe difficulty is when they are equal. Then its time to gamble.

Same with relationships, is it an important person or just a girl I met the other night? And what is it weighted against? A random girl vs a major mental damage in the form of One-itis? Well, fuck that.


I guess many of you have heard of my pillars of confidence theory, it is very good when it comes to explain confidence and inner game. Basically our confidence rests like a roof upon pillars of our confidence. Like we base it on intelligence, style, humor, toughness, moral code, pride, skills or whatever. One of those is gonna be higher and support our confidence, if that pillar crumbles, our confidence falls back down to the next level. So I suggest to build up all of those pillars, that makes you less fragile.

Shit tests, challenges and remarks often threaten our confidence (mental health). People hurt us and we feel like we need to hurt them back. That will damage a relationship, not only between the people but also between you and everybody else seeing the interaction.

So basically, most people shoot wildly when they shit test us or give you a hurtful remark but sometimes they aim and sometimes they hit out of sheer luck.

I know a lot of PUAs that think that a real man takes no shit, that he retorts to all remarks, that is not true, that is a beta who wanna be an alpha. A real alpha male carefully decides when to care and not.

This is how.

Remark incoming, is this aimed at a pillar of confidence that support my confidence? If no, not worth caring about.
If yes, is it the highest one? Is it gonna do so much damage that my level of confidence will decrease?
If no, not worth caring about.
If yes, ok, how low is my confidence gonna be and can it be rescued by me retorting?
If your confidence will drop very low then it is worth taking the fight, if not, dont care about it.
Also, if retorting will not bring your confidence back, dont do it.

The way you handle the situation will affect your relation with people around you. If you are cool and non reactive, then they will think that:
A. You are a loser that takes shit
or
B. You are not affected by stupid shit like that

because

A. The insult was so great that you had a right to retort, or it was a challenge that you met and won.

B. It wasnt a big deal, or it was a challenge and you did not think it was important enough to care.

So you see, different attacks do different amounts of damage, some are worth fighting and some are not.


So why doesnt the alpha male fight as many fights as the beta male?

To begin with, his confidence is more solid, it is not fake. It takes more hits before keeling over. Since we are all nerds here, more than one of you have played computer games or RPGs. You know that as your character progresses, he gets more HP. So he can take more damage.
Same with your confidence. If it is based on more pillars, it is more solid and you can take more shit before keeling over.

A guy with low confidence also values the ability to deal damage, take the enemy out before he kills your character (confidence). But if you have high HP (solid confidence) you can just stand there watching the attacks not penetrating your shields. Or if they do, do so little damage that it doesnt matter.

This is why you need to build up more than one pillar of confidence, solidify your ego. Take the hits that doesnt do enough damage and care only when they threaten you mentally, physically, economically or relationship wise.

The problem is that attacks often threaten more than one of them.

A minor attack to your mental health might actually damage your relationship with all the girls in the club if you retort.

Identify the hidden danger!

Ezo

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Awesome post Ezo and i whole heartly agree. Know when to pick and choose your battles. as a qoute from the movie The Girl Next Door " is the juice worth the squeeze?" there is no point in Trying to fight or retort if its not even worth it. I've seen it happend to many people. Now i have this sudden erge to play RPG games now

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

Funny I was thinking about your last post on this matter today and how people took it the wrong way by thinking you meant care about EVERYTHING EVERYBODY says... now i check the forums and you made a much clearer better post about it.

Good stuff bra

Thanks, I think this one was clearer... I hope people read it...

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn

Haha, awesome post Ezo. I kinda know how you feel, so much good stuff gets passed up in the lounge sometimes...

In any case, I agree with most of the post, though I perhaps take nonreactive a step further on most occasions. I feel that even if he hits home on one of my pillars of confidence, then simply ignoring him and switching my focus works better for me.

Though I can tell that this stuff really works for you. Thanks for putting it out there.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Here's the thing . . .

What would Warren Buffet tell you if you told him that his investment strategies sucked?

What would Lebron James tell you if you told him that his b ball game sucked?

What would Michael Phelps tell you if you told him that he swam like a dog?

Here's the problem:

Most of you young kids know jack shit, do jack shit, have jack shit, and all you do is think of how you can "pick up chicks", utilizing a few scripted lines. OF COURSE you have no confidence. When a girl tells you that you are a retard, you shake in your boots because YOU REALLY ARE A RETARD. You know this, the girl knows this, the WHOLE WORLD knows this. If you were NOT A RETARD, you would laugh, laugh, laugh . . .

Stop reading the 'inner game' bullshit that are written up by pick up gurus. Those guys make $$ off of idiots like you. Instead, work on making yourself a BETTER PERSON.

Yes, not easy. Yes, not instant. Yes, a LONG TIME INVESTMENT in yourself. But are you worth it? If so, do it . . .take the time . . If it takes 30 fucking years, then so be it. Better to be a whole person in 30 years than to be a moron ALL YOUR FUCKING LIFE.

There is no inner game that will make the idiot feel like a genius. Work on your life instead of shopping for a band-aid.

There is nothing wrong with reacting negatively to being called an idiot when YOU ARE AN IDIOT. This is the truth. To stand there with a plastic smile like some freakin' alien would make you an IDIOT + A freakin' ALIEN.

Very eye-opening. Thank you kasabi

Why its so important to get inner game down solid rather than most people who just want to learn lines aka outer game. All that's doing is putting a band aid on. The cut is still there.

Good post op.

Yeah, well thats the secret isnt it. Inner game is not a game. True inner "game" if you wanna call it that is the same as self improvement. Telling yourself that you are confident is not the same as working out who you are and accept it.

I have to disagree with the last one though. Yeah, if people call you an idiot when you are an idiot, they are giving you info that can help you advance. I dont say smile though.

I just say that instead of putting on a brave face and try to hide that tear and supress that rage, why not building yourself up to the level where you can take a hurtful remark like that because you know that your value as a human being does not depend on that characteristic alone.
People may tell me that I suck at speaking mandarin, and its true, I dont speak a word. But I dont think that makes me a worse person. It has no meaning to me (although I would like to learn), I just havent got that far yet.
If people insult my intelligence, something that is important to me, I may feel like they are wrong and thus not worth caring about. If they are right, I feel that, yeah, I was a moron on this one subject but it doesnt matter, I know better now. Great, I improved.

Unless people do it just to antagonize me, then it is annoying but hardly worth fighting someone for. It didnt hurt, Ill survive. If you cant take critizism, you wont ever improve.

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I'm not trying to be a dick Ezo, but you're being a Pick Up Snob in my opinion.

bbardot: you just reminded me about porn