Hi to all PUA of this board, I just discovered this forum, but I'm not new to pickup itself. Lets just say I was trained by different people and so far it was working great for me (nowhere near guru level though )). Don't be tough on me, its my first post here and I don't know what kind of internal rules I need to follow to properly describe my problem, but I'll try my best.


So here we go

About me: I'm 24, 6&2", 220 pounds, athletic body type and blah blah blah. Currently finishing my studies at university and planning to become a military pilot at Canadian army. I also have good part time and full time jobs and not complaining about money (if it has any importance at all). Bad thing, I live with my parents and can't bring girls home at night. I will either move out or leave to the army in 6 months.

I was never emotionally attached to a girl in my life, I would sleep with them and could get some pretty girls in my bed, but my longest relationship was probably 5-6 months long.

Anyways, now I think I'm in love, but the situation is so f*cked up, that I have no idea what to do next.

She's 22, 6/10, and I met her 3 years ago when she came to work for the same company, let her name be V. Back then I was not attracted and I knew she had someone out there. They broke up about a year ago. I broke up with my ex (actually my 5 months relationship) this Spring and tried to hook up with V. I also have to mention that I had to be careful since she became my manager and friend at the same time (don't ask why), and I kinda wanted to keep my job. It did not work, I mean at all. All my techniques that usually worked didn't get me anywhere. She didn't even want me to drive her home (I mean WTF, its just a favour when its -30 outside). I decided not to bother and just watch, but I was intrigued.

I just noticed a huge difference between how she talks to everyone else and me. She was nice to everyone and laughed with them, but would scream at them from time to time. With me, she would be nice and very patient, never allowed herself to scream regardless of all my stupidities. But she would never talk to me about anything else but work. So I decided - whatever, we'll just be friends, but even then, she would never as for anything, anything I offer her she would say NO, I mean ANYTHING, even the stuff that she really liked (I didn't try to specifically get it for her, just for people at work). I got pissed one day and asked directly "why would you say NO to everything I offer or say" and she said "no doesn't always means no". (I'm just giving all those details to show how she is).

Anyway, it went like that till September, we didn't talk too much, until one day she came to me and said that she has serious problems with her family, totally emotionless, not asking for help or whatever, just told me. I asked if she told it to someone else, apparently no, she did not. That was a last thing I expected from her, to share things like that with me at first. Since then, we became much closer. She would give me advises here and there, listen to what I'm saying etc. She even asked me for a little favour one day (shock #2). However, on a day when she had no car I offered to drive her home she was very quick to say no.

Don't ask me why I'm in love with her, it would take me another 1000 words to describe. For now I'm just a friend for her, someone who makes fun of her (in a kind way) and someone she can make fun of. I want relationship. My problem is, I can't just completely change my behavior in 1 day, she knows me for 3 years already. My second problem, I totally can't read her, she hides her emotions very deep inside. No visible reaction to proper compliments, and even though she allows me to touch her, (lite kino I think you call it) I have no clue whether she likes it or is totally disgusted by it, no emotions.

I know its a long, **cked up story and I sound like a newbee, but I really have no idea what to do. I can't move on because I see her twice a week (at part time job) and when I see her I just don't want the other girls out there, though there are some options available.

I hope I was as clear as possible in my description, but I can tell you more if it will help to find a solution. So, any reasonable advice?

P.S. I know that quitting a job and forgetting her is the easiest solution, but it is not an option, those 10 hours pay as 20 hours at my full time position.

Have you tried actually asking her out?

Have you considered the possibility that she can't accept your advances because she's your manager? Maybe she's interested, maybe she isn't, but from where I'm sitting it's possible she knows how you feel and is trying to keep things as professional as possible.

Also, something to keep in mind when you're dealing with strong feelings about anything. You should always be distrustful of extreme courses of action (like quitting your job) when you're making decisions that involve your emotions. Why is it the 'easiest thing to do' to quit your job? I'm not accusing you of offering this up as the only option, but your even considering it makes me worry that you're placing an irrational amount of importance on the outcome of this situation.

Remember that being relaxed and not placing your happiness in the hands of another person simultaneously improves your life, and improves your attractiveness. Moreover, it sounds like you have a cool job so why rush to cut that out of your life over the affections of one woman?

Thanks for replies

No, its definitely not because she's my manager, I'm 100% sure, its very specific at our job, managers get less money, more responsibilities and not much power. Its the boss-owner who decides everything.

I did ask her out back in the Summer, it did not work out. I will try again next week, maybe something has changed

I'm not considering quitting as an option at all. I mean I will have to quit this part time job anyway sooner or later, but for now it pays very well. What I meant is that I could probably stop thinking about her and go for someone else if I didn't see her twice a week.

You're not in love. You're an idiot. Also, why are you posting on a "pick up" forum? Your post has NOTHING to do with pick up and EVERYTHING to do with some dopey kid who's got a crush on a girl who is forced to see him twice a week.

I'm a guy. I don't know you. And you're creeping me out. . . s

This is more for the relationship area. She might have some kind of issue. Maybe that's why you couldn't take her to her house,,,, cause someone is there. I'd go for the quick talk. Not the long talk. The quick one.

mmm, i thought i can ask for an advice in what looks like an unusual situation to me. I didn't know i'll need ur permission to post here. and I think u're an idiot, cause i was opened for negative comments WITH some kind of advice.

Nightrider, i didnt want to post in relationship area cause there are no relationhip here yet. I'll go for a quick talk if my plan to ask her out again will fail. tnx