*Decided to move this*
Ok so I picked up a chick on facebook (id say HB8). Got her to give me her number in a slick way. I finally spoke with her last week for about 10 mins. we talked about how we know each other what I do and some other introductory stuff. I wasn't being too flirty because I did not want to telegraph too much interest. I was going to work and She asked me if i wanted to go eat on my lunch break since I was near her home and I declined because I did not have a lunch break and I didn't want to jump at the first bone she threw at me. Afterwards we texted each other for a couple hours (our status, likes & dislikes etc) and that was it. The next day she text me where she was having lunch but on purpose i answered late and jokingly asked her to bring it to me. She had already left and I told her that was sweet but was working out. I let a couple days go by and today I called her, she was doing ABSOLUTELY nothing and no lie the call lasted 3 mins and she said lemme call you back. Guess what? She didn't. Did me trying not to be needy backfire?? What happened?

That very problem happened to me a coupla a times... I would be a little too distant or too unavailable in the beginning and they would get offended by my dismissals ote just lose interest

You rejected her multiple times and you wonder why she lost interest? Girls don't handle rejection like men do and there are other ways to act hard to get. If a girl invites you out, go out with her! There's a fine line between active disinterest/non-neediness and you probably crossed it. There are lots of posts on the forum about neediness, I suggest you do a search. I used to be very guilty of this as well but remember "two steps forward, one step back" as a rule of thumb: show a girl some interest twice, then take some away.

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Dammit. I really didn't like this response but It definitely sounds accurate. You think its still salvageable, like call/text her 2 wks later or do I just leave her alone and move on? Cause just before the first 10 min call my call didn't go through so I texted her and joking made fun of her phone/reception. After that phone call she text me if I didn't get a hold of her why didn't I keep it moving. (Though she didn't ask me in a rude way).

She might just be giving you a dose of your own medicine, or she coulda been f____ing an exboyfriend, which is why she forgot to call you back. I wouldn't worry about it too much... Give her a call in a few days (not 2 weeks)

^ agreed.

Call her in a few days, don't mention anything about her not taking your call...act like nothing happened and just continue gaming. You might have to build back up a bit of attraction over a day or two, then when you feel that you are back at a high point, ask her out.

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****update*****
Okay, I ended up calling her a couple days later and the conversation was alright. we pretty much talked on a friendly level. We text every now and then and this weekend I called her just before I went out to the club with some friends. She said she will try to join with her cousin and friend but she texted me that night and couldn't make it. Lately shes been doing things without asking me to go like she did in the beggining and it seems I will have to chase her now. I flirt a bit via text but don't think I have the balls to over the phone. How do I get her chasing me again??

your problem is that you didn't make it sexual from the get-go. you have to establish early that you are not the kind of guy that needs more platonic female friends. bust her chops a little bit and joke with the idea that she's falling for you, but it won't work out because she's too ___.

Be teasing, but put some sexual tension behind the teasing.

Thanks ChiefBX, I LOVE THIS SITE because it seems you were right. I called her today and was a bit more assertive. She didnt reciprocate but she did laugh a bit. Here is the dillemma though. She told me tomorrow that shes going out to a comedy show with some dude thats been trying to get at her for the longest but shes not really feelin him like that. She invited me but i said well i aint tryin to be a 3rd wheel. She said her female cousin is also goin and i can tag along with her. She also said "oh dont get it twisted my cousin is fine". I told her thas cool but im not superficial like that and im trying to chill with you, not her." She laughed and joked well you gotta take one for the team" I said ill think about it. Should I go????????

I'm fairly new to the game and how it works and haven't been in a situation like this before so maybe don't take my advice too literally.

To me, rejecting her invite to the comedy club sounds like the final rejection, and saying I wanted to chill with just you makes you sound a bit needy of her - "If I can't have you I don't want anyone!..."

I would go, making it look like I'm going for the night rather than because she asked you to. Check out the comedy acts before, find one you might like and keep saying ''can't wait for this guy, he's pretty funny". Make sure you pretend to get a bit excited about her cousen by saying "Looking forward to meeting your cousen, did she get the funny/good-looking/fun genes in the family?" Or something lighthearted maybe. Then when you're there, make friends with the guy and appear to get on really well with the cousen whilst paying little attention to the target.

The hope is she will find it hard that you don't see that bloke as a target (portrays alpha male confidence - she already told you she doesn't like him so he is no threat!). This way she will not see you as needy for her. Also, by getting along with them both, particularly her cousin, she will more than likely start to really question you and whether she should get in whilst she still can, and in my experience girls get the most jealous when it's a family member you're getting with (or appear to). Remember girls like this share everything, so you're more than likely going to be the BIG talking point of the night if you play your cards right.

If all fails and she likes the bloke instead, then at least you tried. It sounds to me like the thing is slipping away from you and you sound like you're being hard on yourself asking yourself so many questions.

Good luck!

Dude definitely go, be a lot cooler than the other guy, turn the date into a you-and-her date and leave the cousin for the other chump.

Thanks for the advice my friend. And now that I think about it, me saying "I don't want to chill with your cousin, I want you" does sound needy to me. I ended up not going because I thought the she would get too much attention (Me & the other guy). But now that I read your post I should have went. I just felt if vibe isn't right it would have a domino effect. Your right Im being too hard on myself. I need to relax. Ill keep y'all posted.

***just an update on this situation***
Well I finally fclosed on this chick twice last month. But I will be honest, it pretty much fell in my lap. She was going home from a club and just wanted someone fuck, both times. I can't be mad at that . Problem is the 2nd time she came around I resorted to AFC mode was acting all clingy around her, holding on to her after sex, talking when she didn't want to talk etc. She hasn't come around since. We still text every now and then and I made an attempt to hang out one time but our schedules clashed. It was a good fuck and I want to continue, how do I bait her again??

You know what, usually the guy asks a girl out for a day 2 like lunch or coffee. So when she's asking you to join her she really does want you to be there. Don't decline, go for it. Of course it's Alpha to be busy, to have a life but being to busy for lunch is over the top. Next time go for it.

Good job on your close and indeed stop being clingy after.

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Cheers mate

1) She was interested in you.
2) She was reaching out to you.
3) You seemed to be reaching away from her, declining her several times, 3 in a row total
4) You seemed to make these choices based on your "I didn't want to jump at the first bone she threw at me" metaphor... girls don't work like that. Not accepting those bones makes her feel awful about caring and going after you, and she starts fearing that you would only hurt her emotionally in the future.