| Attraction
“The more you love yourself the more you can love other people and the more other people will love you in return” -Osho
Being able to attract other people is a central goal in our lives. All our money, possessions and actions are usually part of the whole mating ritual we're accustom to.
Animals all have mating dances, and so do humans. We fall pray to the same patterns that every other creature on this planet goes through. The difference though is that we are able to step aside and see our own patters and understand them.
We can't rise above them, mind you, but we are able to understand them.
What is the key to attraction?
Reciprocation.
The law of reciprocation is a fundamental part of human psychology. Put simply, we feel obliged to return what others give to us. If someone is angry at us we feel anger or resentment towards them, if someone smiles at us we feel more inclined to smile back and if someone feels genuine affection towards us we will feel affection back at them.
The fascinating thing about reciprocation is that it doesn't work as well when you TRY to make it work. When we are TRYING to get someone to like us they end up not liking us because they feel forced and pressured into something and they don't feel that it's natural.
“To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction” -Sir Isaac Newton
Whenever you send an energy out into the universe it will come back to you increased. You try to take something from someone and more will be taken away, you give somebody something and it will be returned to you multiplies. This is karma.
This is not some kind of new age mumbo jumbo, this is the very principle upon which our entire economy is built. You invest money and you expect to get more back. When marketers give out free items they expect to increase sales.
Karma is not simple or obvious. Our world is far more complex then we can predict and our actions' consequences are often times not foreseeable by us. But understanding the simple idea let's us know that what we send out to the universe we can expect to see back. We cannot know when, we cannot know how long it will take and neither can we sit around waiting for it to come back.
Back to relationship, many people give strange advice when it comes to dating and attraction- they say be yourself, be confident, do what comes naturally. The problem is that people don't know who their self is, people don't know what confidence is!
It seems easy, but when explaining how to attract people it becomes clear that we usually don't know what's going on. This is because non of us really do.
The secret is not confidence, it's loving yourself. When you love yourself you know what to do, when you love yourself you know how to love someone else, and when they feel genuine love from you they will not be able to help it but love you back.
This is to distinguish from neediness and egoism. Neediness is when you do NOT love yourself enough and feel that you NEED someone else's love to fulfill yourself or feel that you are somehow wrong in providing love. Egoism and boasting is not a show of love, it's a show of lack of self love- you feel you are not good enough so you attempt to hide it by boasting your good qualities to hide the ones you are ashamed of.
Both men and women are just as confused about sex and relationships. We are all caught in this dance. We can teach people the tune and the moves, but they will only be able to attract when they can feel the rhythm.
Using Choose Think Act, though, you can give yourself a better chance at attracting other people. _________________ http://www.solomonseagal.com
Anyone can walk into a bar and pick up a random girl.
The trick is to make the experience unforgettable to her.
A real PUA will make every women he encounters feel like she experience something once in a lifetime.
|