professional dancer girl ive been friends with since highschool, has been back in town for several months. we started talking everyday, great rapport, IOIs, sexual enuendos brought up by both of us...and she usually texted emaild called first.... i felt like i was being pursued.

we go on a few dates and i k-close upon goodbye... we kiss for a few seconds and i start to add a little tounge to the kiss and she backs off and giggles like a nerd.
she texts 5 minutes after leaving... "i really wanted to kiss you, but i got really nervous"...i just replied, "haha its cool dont worry about it"
so im thinking either shes very prude, or shes really into me.

so another hangout comes up...this time watching a movie at my place...she really excited, cant wait etc, she even brings a bottle of wine. she had a doctors appointment earlier that day and she sent me a text..."can you give me a physical so i dont have to drive all the way out here??"
so im thinking im in for the kill that night....

so were watchng a movie at my house that night, spooning...and my hand starts to wonder around her waist...after 10 mintues i slip down her pants and play all around her vag without touching her for about a half hour, spreading her ass cheeks, tickling above her pubic bone etc.....shes not stopping me... but shes not turning around for a kiss either.

i felt it would have been akward to change positions since we were spooning so i didnt even eslcalate, not even kissing... after half hour of playing in her pants it was humid so just went for her vag caveman style. IN COMES HER HAND and she pulls me back out (SH*T FU*K ). talk about awkward.
completely my fault not to escalate anything...but i didnt really freeze out after she stopped me either because she asked me to rub the inside of her elbow.
basically i got flagged., and sat on the bench

we still kissed at the end of the date, and text flirted the next day...but then just stalemated.... i didnt text or call her and she didnt text or call me, since we started talking...shes always had something to text me everyother day at lunch while i was at work...now she just stopped complelety. but i didnt initiate anything myself for a week.

i initiated, just asking what she was up to since i havnt seen her, and she replied , asking the same thing....so yet another stalemate

should i just back off and forget about her since shes not sending IOIs anymore?

should i tell her im sorry for being too "foward" and i shoulda had more respect etc?

or should i just act like it never happened and start chasing her, since she doesnt seem to be chasing anymore?

Never say I'm sorry, alpha male doesn't apologize for being sexually active. Now give her couple days, don't text for for at least a week. If she's still into you, she won't sit still. Get back to us after a week.

From what I can see, you've done your bit. You tried escalation at those moments when it seemed appropriate. You didn't try anything overwhelming (you felt you did but.. it seems kind of 'in the flow' to me). It was to a large extent the babe that didn't clarify her requirements. I'd move on if I were you. Time is less

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Taohackne is correct. Do a 2-3 day freeze out and then invite her somewhere fun, maybe even w/ other friends, so it's more casual.

Remember kino escalation is a like a ladder. You should work your way from arm touching to kissing to sex so smoothly that there should be no state breaks and no opportunities for her to think "what I am doing?!"

You did the classic one of waiting until the end of the night to k-close, unsurprisingly you made her nervous, but she still liked you enough to give you a pass. Then you did another one going straight to v-town without even kissing properly or anything.

The trick is to meet her in a low-pressure situation like a bar or something, take her to a few places during the night, kino escalate SMOOTHLY from hugging, arm around her, sitting down touching her leg, kissing (should k-close by second venue), to going back to your place and closing the deal (always offer an explanation for why you're going back to your place, e.g. she has to grab that CD you were talking about but then she has to get going cuz you have work early tomorrow).

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thanks guys

im going to throw a monkey wrench into this...

this girl in question might have caught wind that im a "player"

after the straight to v-town incedent....things still seemed normal for a few days and then she withdrew...

... just that weekend, there was a catfight at a local bar...between another girl ive been having sex with and a girl from the past whos been recently hitting me up on facebook. apparently, this was over me because i didnt want my fuckbuddy to be my girlfriend. so if shes willing to start a fight with a girl she suspects im doing stuff with, im betting shes cockblocking me via facebook messages to other girls that write me stuff. none of these girls are "friends" but they all know eachother by name.

so now the girl im really into may know ive been sleeping around.... if this is the case i wonder if being AFC, telling her im really into her etc, will give me some redemption.

im lost, dont know if im in the friend zone or the slut zone... dont know how to find out

Calibrate the situation, but you shouldn't really change tactics. Escalate like I said, and just make sure you don't forget comfort building so that she knows you value her as a person, this will stop her assuming you're a player and only care about sex.

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Interesting topic!

Most things are already said. Freeze out for a few days, then meet her casualy, on a place where you can know each other better and where you can have fun so that she will think that you're not only interested in sex but also in her personally. Then have fun, change go sit somewhere in a quiet, chill bar with a perfect make out opportunity, then get close and intimate and talk about deep stuff, so that it gives you dept as a person, that you're not horny guy number 26, kino her while talking, get closer and closer, qualify her, and close her!

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Ambitious to be succesfull => Shyler

It might be time for you to bring her onto the same plane as you. There's a way to open up without being AFC. It's about comfort building, but also about seeing eye to eye. This can be dangerous because some of the mystery evaporates, but if this one is relationship material, then too much game might not be necessary.

I'd invite her to join you somewhere and treat her like you both know there's attraction. Confident, if she shows IOD, brush them off like you don't care (not cocky or arrogant) just confident. Pushing for the F-close might be the wrong approach right now (I'm sure there are multiple POVs for this). Even when I was a complete AFC, the easiest way to gain trust and get laid was to show that you're ok not getting any. I told the last chick that I'd wait a year before we had sex (she was relationship material). We ended up fucking 2 days later. And pretty much every time or every other time we got together for the next 3 weeks.

The previous one, we both played a lot, but I took the stance of "I don't want this to be all about sex. Maybe we should wait". Took about a week and we ended up getting married. Too AFC and it ended 4 years later hahaha.

What I'm saying is, I not perfect, but semi-AFC tactics wrapped in confidence and bringing a little tension out of the air might make for something workable.

like the input...

based on the way she backed off after talking to me and showing a lot of interest for over a month straight... i really dont think im going to close the next time i hang out with her, she'll have a guard up for sure...

i think its a good idea to slow down, this girls only been with one guy before as far as i know, it was a really long relationship (5 years, mostly long distance) that just ended a few months ago.

this could be anything....shyness, prudeness, hard to get, friend-zoned, assumed player, her actually finding out i f*ked other girls while talking to her, her playing games now since i want her vag, getting over ex, not ready, another dude, etc.
i shouldnt care, and inquiring will we very AFC.

when i contacted via email after a week freeze out she seemed really excited in her reply, "where you been loser ?!?!?!??!?!?!" " did you blah blah blah ?!?!?!?!??!?" but i replyed back telling her ..."blah blah blah ""text me, i miss hearing from you!"

its been a few days and i still havnt heard back

i pondering whether to freeze out for a few weeks unless she contacts, or push for a casual meetup soon, at this point

Reminded me about this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9jeyLvpuBM

(It's about the "friend zone", but it has stuff about the "player zone" as well)

I think you should let this one go. it sounds like there is another guy in the picture.

ding ding ding

mr amazing, you were right buddy.

i didnt reach out for a whole month, but her birthday came up so i decided to stand out... i left her a gift on her car....this was not AFC crap like a rose or a love letter.

It was an inside joke to make fun of her and get a smile...involving a mis-hap with her underwear on one of our dates.

I got her a book of constallations (we were stargazing, the night this underwear mis-hap happened).....and inside the book i wrapped up the biggest granny panties i could find, 44" waist. all wrapped in hannah montana paper.....strictly joke purposes....no notes of endearment or nothing.

I would equate this to a jim/pam thing if anybody watches the office.

Anyway she loved the gift. She texted me a few times including a picture of her wearing the panties with the a note "i love you"... but i didnt reply

So a few hours later she called me and i didnt answer so she left a message
..."omg you are the cutest guy in the whole world, my mom and my sister were laughing so hard too. i cant believe you did that, it really made my day, call me back"

So i waited a few hours and called her back...low and behold she didnt answer.
but i didnt leave a message.

A few days go by, and she has pictures up on facebook with this other dude, who happens to be ten years older than her and already has kids. fuck.

So although my gift might have been a good move, my timing was way off...she'd already been talking to this dude for over a month now... and i can now see a few bad moves i pulled along the ride while she was talking to both me and my competition. maybe she just didnt want to deal with me thinking i just wanted pussy, and knowing i was seeing other girls.

Ive already moved on from this chick during the month of quiet so im not sweating it...just feel like shit for going out of my way to do anything for her on her bday. maybe it bought me points for the future, but i think if it did, im gonna try to work the situation so i can love her and leave her, at this point i lost respect for her.

she texts me today .... "where the hell have you been?!!! did you get my msg??!"

do i just ignore her at this point, or will it look too spiteful?

anybody got any short reply ideas that would make her feel like i dont give a shit about her?

i was thinking maybe just like "just busy with work" or "i met a girl" hahah

I liked the word "v-town" LMAO.

Dont reply right away.. wait for a couple of days and then you could try this. It was contributed by 'Shinigaml' and I really liked the idea.

{Text her this.

“It was so much fun…So we are going out again tonight right?”

At this, The girl will most probably send you a text message asking what are you talking about?

Text her back saying the following-

"Oh! Sorry...That was meant for someone else, but your name is right below that person's name in my phone contact list. I sent it to you by mistake."


And BAM! She would want you more than ever now.

Why you ask?

Well now she knows she has competition…Now you are more of a challenge and she knows she will have to work hard to ensure you don’t run away to another girl. Attraction is at it’s peak when the girl knows that she is about to lose the guy to another girl.

At the same time you are softly rejecting her by showing that you have other options to choose from and she’s not on top of your priority list. This would further burn her and she would try twice as hard to keep you.}