Cannot figure out whether girl is interested



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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 8:34 am 
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Long post, complicated situation, includes lots of details.

So, just started my second year of studying at university, I was a part of a group of people organised to show the new students around, but mostly just getting drunk and having fun with them, anyway, there's one of these girls that I'm rather interested in.

So, of course I'm in a sort of natural dominant relationship with this girl since she's new to uni, I'm 2nd year, supposed to know stuff and cool pretty much as a premise. Now, I talked with lots of the new girls of course during the intro-week, and most of them have seemed rather interested, but one of the prettiest of them, HB8 or 9 I guess,I can't figure out:

During the week, I pretty much only talked to her one night, when we were both drunk. We had a lot of shared interests (or she lied... Don't think so tho) - piano, literature, etc., not necessarily a good thing I guess, but we talked for a rather long time alone, outside. I didn't feel like she was giving out any IOIs really, at least not obvious ones, except for talking to me exclusively for an hour or so. We even went for a walk in the neighbourhood to look for a place to buy some more booze, closed tho. Anyway, we went inside as it was getting cold, went upstairs to the party, talked, some other girls approached me and I started bantering around with them instead. At some point, I ended up dancing heftily with and going home with (f-closed too) some new student from another institute tho, so they're not acquainted. I'm not sure whether HB noticed this or has found out since.

When we were talking that night, we were both drunk and talked about lots of different stuff, like I asked her what she thought of her 2nd year instructors, sort of jokingly tried to pair her up with a few of them, she just responded something like she thought we were all good-looking and cool, and asked what I thought of the new girls, I named like 2 or 3 girls plus her that I thought were hot, in short, I think I made it pretty obvious to this girl during our talk that I was interested in her - anyway, one of the things I remember telling her last, when I walked away was something like, "You're not really my type anyway" and then sort of petting her hair in a "sorry puppy" way, to which she just blurted out "you're not my type either". I might've sounded too serious, but anyway, I guess I felt I needed to do something to make her unsure of what I felt about her.

After this I don't see or talk to her for a week. (I guess I should've tried a #-close or so, but oh well). Yesterday, there was a bar-thing for our entire institute starting early afternoon, lasting the entire day and night. I was having fun with my friends and getting drunk again, but talked to her twice at least: Stood outside, just chilling, making conversation with her and another girl. I had her aside for a short time, I told her jokingly that one of the best moments of my week was when she burst out literally yelling her favourite german 1800-author, she laughed, blabla, then much later, I was talking with a friend and out of the sudden, she poked me, we bantered for a short while and she said something like "We should have like, a Goethe-day soon to meet and talk". Didn't talk more with her that night, which was yesterday.

Sorry for the long post here, but I felt those details were needed - I really can't figure this girl out. By the things I've described above, she seems interested, but she isn't really giving me the physical IOIs that I get from some girls. Maybe she's a bit more shy, (doesn't seem like she's a shy kinda girl tho), or am I just reading too much into things here? Does she just see me as some kinda potential friend? We've talked about things related to sex etc., and I think I've done a pretty good job teasing and keeping things interested, I can't see myself be friend-zone-potential with the way things have gone really but... This girl confuses me. Maybe I've been too drunk/blind to notice obvious signs, maybe she has just been acting like she would with any other guy she isn't interested in. Need the enlightenment here.

Also - in a bit less than a month we (1st and 2nd year, about 70 people) have a trip to a cabin-thing out in the woods, which is basically two days of partying and having fun. Obviously a great place to get things moving with this girl, but then again, waiting for a month will kill off all tension and give her plenty of time to meet other guys.

Summary: Is she interested, and if so, how should I day-2 her?

Edit: I can msg her on facebook to set up day-2, since I don't have her #.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:28 am 
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At the start you should have Kino'ed her, to build sexual tension, you had perfect chances! Move from comfort building to attraction building!

Now as to salvaging the situation...do you just wanna get into her pants, or a relationship?


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 12:50 pm 
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Uh, well, first things first I guess :p I'm not really looking for a relationship, but open to the possibility.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:30 pm 
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At the moment, sounds like you were too "nice guy" with her, and she may think of you as a friend-zone candidate.
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I named like 2 or 3 girls plus her that I thought were hot, in short, I think I made it pretty obvious to this girl during our talk that I was interested in her - anyway, one of the things I remember telling her last, when I walked away was something like, "You're not really my type anyway" and then sort of petting her hair in a "sorry puppy" way
You sound like you're riding the fence between direct and indirect. You're downplaying the effect of going to direct by using false disqualifiers and telling her that other girls are hot as well. She probably got confused and thought you were being wishy-washy.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 1:39 am 
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i think the party next month is a great idea. just keep her interested until then, and get shit done then.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:12 am 
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Learn to read Body Language properly and you can just know that she is attracted to you rather than question IOIs or actions.

Four Books I Highly Recommend:

The Definitive Book on Body Language
UnderCover Sex Signals (U.S. S.)
What Every Body is Saying
Love Signals(more of a general Courtship book)

I also have a decent thread(at least more than a few people liked it) in the Natural Game section called The Key to Natural Game is Body Language.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 3:55 pm 
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Thanks for the advice all. I definitely think you're right about body language, but that project is a long time coming still.

However, the situation 'developed' a bit today, something interesting happened;

One of the other new girls that I've talked a lot with, on a friendly basis, came to my place to borrow some books from me, we drank some coffee, and at some point, she asked me out about the HB (they're friends as well), telling me that HB had told her that I had apparently been really rude to her, to the degree that she felt bad about it (she said I told her to fuck off and literally shoved her). HB also told my friend that people had been asking her "what this thing between [her and me] was". Both sound very weird to me - that day, I only talked to her shortly like I had been talking to lots of other girls so I don't see any reason people would ask her that, and secondly, cannot at all remember or imagine being as rude to her as she said. I'm generally way too much of a nice guy, and doing so would be totally out of character - at most, I might've prodded her teasingly. She's either exaggerating mad or completely misinterpreting.

I was with a friend more sober than I this night and he confirmed my view of our meetings. So, what's up with this girl? Does she want me? Is her head screwed? Wtf?


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:06 pm 
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Shameless bump here. Anyone got a take on the last bit?


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