I have such a dilemma on my hands and need help with it. I have such a huge crush on this one girl in my social group. I want to make her mine but I just don't know how to go through with it. She seems like someone who is very selective and does not go for just any guy. I also don't think she has had much sexual experience. I don't think at this point she sees me as a potential partner but I think she sees me as a friend (when I like a girl I get very paranoid so I cannot even tell). I want to do one of two things, both of which for some reason seem like pretty bad ideas. The goal is to either get her or lose my desire for her without losing her as a friend. She is not only my first female friend but the coolest girl I've ever met. I was thinking either I would attempt to seduce her or just sit her down and tell her how I feel in the simplest, lightest way and hope that she either feels the same or has the potential to. Again, they might be bad ideas but that is all I can come up with. I am really confused and don't know what to do. I know so many people are just gonna say "walk away and forget" but that is not what I want. Is my goal even possible and if so how do I do it?

The one thing i learned from experiences is to never tell a girl you like her especially when you don't know if she feels the same way about you. Doing so could scare her off and could cause your current relationship to become awkward. The best thing you could do right now is just hang out with her and express how you feel through your actions and body language. Take her on a date, go to the movies, or whatever and work your game. Just remember whatever you do don't tell her you like her!

I had the same exact situation and it turned out almost exactly as I wanted. I slowly started building tension using micro escalation (look up Gambler for more info). I did it for about two weeks maybe 1 hour total in all that time. Then I introduced her to some of my female "friends" so she would know I'm high value.

Then I waited for her to come around to me. Soon she started Kinoing back and invited me out to a casual semi date. Soon we're going to be dance partners and take salsa lessons. And that's where I'm at now.

Keep in mind this is going to take a long time to reach your goals. If you meet a girl and start attraction soon you can escalate and move quickly because you set a quick pace. Since you started off slow any rapid change in the relationship will startle her and wreck your chances. Its kind of like that boiling frogs analogy.

The only thing I recommend that I didn't do is going reasonably aggressive once she kinos you. I didn't and let it go into friend mode because right now I have multiple options and wold rather pursue them and maybe later try a serious thing later.

I hear ya loud and clear brother. I won't do that. I also found out today that she has a boyfriend . The bad thing about that is that I have to wait a while. Teenage love never lasts (unless it is with me lol) especially if it is long distance like this. One thing I am worried about though is that now I don't think she likes me or just feels comfortable with me. Whenever I offer her something she always immediately says "no". Is it because she is afraid of me or is it because she is just being nice or she just does not want what I'm offering? It is gonna be near impossible to get her alone since the social group is so large and she will want to include others. The tricky part is getting her and me alone without framing it as a date.

Smart. I saw Gambler's video a long time ago and remember bits and pieces. I remember it is available for free (second disc of stealth attraction) so I am definitely gonna check it out and take good notes, then put that into practice.

Ok so I have some more information and new questions. I found out today that she has a boyfriend. I don't think the relationship is gonna last since it is long distance. I give it a few months if anything. One problem I have is that I don't really know if she feels completely comfortable around me. I think it is because I am very shy and she does not know me very well. Whenever I offer her something she always immediately says "no". I'm not being the cliche "nice guy" so I'm not overdoing it. Is it because she is afraid of me or is it because she just does not want what I'm offering? Should I take her aside and say something like "I think we should get to know each other better. I feel like out of all my friends, I feel like I've gotten to know you the least." I don't wanna scare her. I only mean that as a friend. I want to have a serious persona so I can be someone she can trust and feel safe with but at the same time, I think I gotta be more playful and do more kino and of course get louder. A more dominant member of my social group does this but does not have a serious side to him. Having the best of both is the only way to succeed.

Sorry to be a cunt mate, but GFTOW.

- preselection
- calibration
- experience
- fun

all of these are benefits, and all will bring you closer to being together with this girl you really want. You can keep being friends with her, but just build rapport while you display interest in other women, not her - this will make her curious.

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Take your Ops.

That's true but there is just one problem. Every girl I know on campus, she knows too. I guess I gotta make some new friends. That might be a lengthy process but I will do my best with it. Also, I am interested in building rapport but I don't know where to start. What can I say to her to get her to trust me and respect me?

I've not got it cracked but i certainly have certain things sorted. You say your shy is this coming accross in your body language. I noticed one thing since i started looking at improving myself and my interactions with everyone and it makes people want to talk to me, i smile all the time. I learnt from someone who has cracked it, that by smiling and having good posture puts people at ease. You may already know this so i wont carry on.

Is there anyway for you to find out what really interests her? If you engage her in things she finds fun and interesting, she will associate you with being un and interesting. ALso anything you believe in or find interesting act like its the best thing ever, if you talk with passion, girls like this. Just a few tips for you to consider. As well as a few of the other things that have been mentioned.

I do know what her interests are. She says her two favorite things are eating and sleeping. I've done plenty of that with her (by sleeping I mean just sleep in the same room as her. It was during a sleepover/slumberparty thing and there were plenty of other people there. Funny thing happened actually. I slept next to her (there was still a bit of distance from me and her) and all of a sudden during the middle of the night I feel her fingers touching mine. She then immediately pulls back and says "sorry". I don't know whether it was was done on purpose or not but it was kind of funny. She also loves video games and anything nerdy, just like me. In fact, during that sleepover, me and all my friends (including her) watched the first two Pokemon movies. It was epic. She loves Ratchet and Clank and she didn't play one of the games so I offered her the opportunity to play it on my PS3 in my dorm. I think she said no because it was only a four hour game but I gotta get her up in my room and playing video games. She says she loves it so I wanna see it but I don't really know if she feels comfortable being alone with me. Signs point to no for now for some reason, or at least I think they do. Not sure.

So computer games are both your thing, its good that you know this. Do you have any new games? If so start a conversation about it, tell her how it got good reviews and then say you will have to come play on it. If she tries to make an excuse think about a response for her, but i would be tempted to say "cause you know i'll kick your ass and say i completely understand."

Obviously dont offend her, but im thinking this will trigger something. It's like cocky comedy with confidence and 99% of girls love it. It will also show her that you have a funside and thats important.

Good idea! I think I'm gonna use that. Playstation Move comes out in 9 days and she is a huge Playstation fan so I believe she will want to try it out. I will use that then. But what if the game is co-op meaning we work together? Any good lines for that?

I dont really play computer games, but i'd be tempted to then say "that i realise that you will mess up loads and it will take you ages to get good at it. But we all got to start somewhere" Here comes the challenge. Say this with a cheeky smile - i would probably say if she doesnt go for this then your really up against it. Be confident when you say it like it doesnt matter if she says no. Your reaction to rejection is very important, if your like well i'll invite other people then to play my new game, not in a childish matter. The point im making is you got to make her think it doesnt phase you either way and this will create intrigue for her.

So what you are saying is that whether she says yes or no, stay confident and non-reactive? Also, what do you mean by intrigue?

Exactly, remember its always a test to see how you react, you got to be ready to say look whether you come or not i'll have a good time. I think another thing might be to have some banter as well, show that your funny. You need to show her that you have high status. Again it comes accross that your fun.

Intrigue Like curiousity, make her think about you when your not together.