This is long, but I'll try to summarise as best as possible

Met girl online, texted back and forth a bit trying to find a time to suit us. On one day I had actually made a dinner for a different girl who was leaving that day to go back to Germany, and she got lost on the way to mine and couldn't make it. So I had two dinners and thought, if life gives you lemons, make lemonade! So I texted her saying I'll make you something and she agreed (this was our first date). She showed up, a stunning 5 ft 11 ebony goddess with huge natural breasts, a slim waist and lovely curves. I played the game by the book and we slept together that night. Everything is going well.

She sent me a text saying she didn't like playing the waiting game (so was obviously keen) etc. I STUPIDLY didn't reply to this until the next day (mistake 1). Then we played a little bit of phone tag and she thought I was ignoring her or something. I got back in touch and we arranged to see each other again. Went for a nice walk, got a meal around the corner from me, slept together again.

At this point, for me, the whole "game" drops out. This is now just two people in a relationship and I feel I don't need to use any techniques other than to keep on being a confident, positive, passionate person and I can be authentic and myself.

Third time was two nights ago, she came over to mine to cook her county's ethnic cuisine for me. We had a great time again. This was the night when I was going to raise the fact that I wasn't looking for commitment and this was going to be an open relationship (IRONY) Later we're relaxing on my bed with the computer just playing some youtube stuff. I play a nice relaxed song and go to kiss her. She's very unreceptive. I go back to the music. She goes out the room, comes back and I stand in front of her and kiss her again. This is when she drops the bombshell.

Long story short, she tried to LJBF me! This has never happened to me before ever! Once I sleep with a girl, it's either a ONS, or we see each other a few more times, make a relationship out of it, and then I usually end it or we just agree that it's not really working and move on. But the third time, after the sex was great as well, to just do that?

Big mistake on my part was I got reactive about it. Thing is I don't have a play book for this situation. Am I supposed to say "ok let's be friends" do a freeze out and then just keep trying to escalate back to sex? That doesn't seem like it makes sense.

So I basically asked why and she said it was because she thought I was a bit of a player. So I said well I'm really not. At this point I was thinking if she saw me as too much of a player I should try and build more comfort, really qualify her about deep stuff and that would move me in the right direction. So I opened up a lot and told her about my journey of the past few years and how I used to not be great with women but I'd been on a path of self-improvement in all aspects of my life and now I was being more successful, but I wasn't in any way going around using women or being a bad person. She opened up to me about a bunch of stuff and I genuinely found stuff to give her honest complements about. But, I explained to her that I was not looking for friends. Either we would move forward with something that I thought was going really well and we were having a great time together, which would be non-exclusive at first and then maybe more serious later, or it was goodbye forever, which seemed a big shame to cut something off so soon that was going great.

She agreed. But, we slept in the same bed but did not have sex (haven't done THAT in a while) I was just so stunned by the whole situation I literally had no idea what to do. I felt that if she was in a fragile state feeling like the relationship was only about sex, then pushing for more would definitely mean the end.

We took a walk in the park the next day, kissed goodbye properly, and arranged to meet sunday.

The whole last few days I can't stop thinking about the situation, what I did wrong, why this would happen, being pissed off that I might not be able to have sex with her again, annoyed that she saw me in a totally wrong light, sad that somebody who I honestly felt I had a connection with and was looking forward to a relationship with would want to cut the whole thing off so soon because of an idea in her mind (that I explained was unfounded) about what kind of person I was.

Couldn't get through to her all day to try to arrange plans, then she finally calls back and we arrange to meet tomorrow to go shopping (again I thought a daytime date like this would show "relationship material" rather than dinner or drinks at night which is a natural segue to sex). She then texts back an hour later saying she doesn't want to see me tomorrow and if I want to be friends great if not then bye.

Let me be clear. I do not have oneitis. I am still seeing other girls right now and am still actively sarging and want to add a few more girls into my MLTR rotation. My question is basically how to stop this from happening again, what to do when it does happen, and any advice about what techniques you use to bridge that gap after the first f-close to prevent things like buyer's remorse, and to clearly lead the way forward towards an open relationship without any problems.

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No offense, when a guys says ''I dont have oneitis'' it means he usually does :/
But hard luck man, shit happens

And sometimes the player gets played....

Afraid you just got an old time dumping. You were into this chick, you picked her up, you seduced her, fucked her and you two got to know each other a little bit and you wanted to continue with the "relationship" and she didn't. simple as that.

Your "game" revolved around pick up and seduction. you accomplished both of those things. A relationship is a whole other reality and even though you may have 'game' your game does not turn people into sex slaves or robots, they still have conscious choice and she choose to not continue to have a relationship with you.

She found you amusing enough to hang out with you and you attracted her enough to have sex with you a couple times. In the mean time she got to know you enough to know that she does not want to have an ongoing relationship with you.

If she said she thought you were too much of a player to continue to be involved with you then accept that. Some chicks will consent to being one of your MLTRs for a period of time but most will not. Most chicks will want a guy they can call their own and they will often eventually choose a beta-boy or AFC to get it at some point. Heck you've only known her a short time, for you know she may already have a boyfriend and you were just some weekend stunt cock while he was on a fishing trip with his mates.

Don't think for a moment that chicks can't be players too. You may have thought that you were playing her while you were just playing into her hand the whole time.

You have a couple choices - you can keep doing what you are doing and keep on gaming and trying to "rotate MLTRs" with other chicks and let this one go. Or you can try to win her over by suplicating to her and being her bitch and seeing if she'll decide to bless you with her company on her terms.

Your third option is to search your feelings and if you truly think she is "the one" then you can try to negotiate with her and see if you two can meet in the middle somewhere to where each of you has some control and buy-in and neither of you is completely dictating all the terms...... ie a relationship. That's going to be by far the hardest option to pull off and the one that will cause you the most hardship over time. But if it ends up being the right decision it will also be the most fullfilling and benificial.


The bad news is my guess is the LJBF was just her way of saying she enjoyed the test drive but decided not to buy.

Why not just be her friend and find out where you went wrong from her? What made you give off this 'player' vibe?

If she feels it, you can be sure other girls do too.

Well, I guess the best thing is to stay friends. You never know what will happen afterwards. If you break now, nothing will happen afterwards. Stay friends, hang out with her and at the same time try to game girls in front of her to make her jealous.

I respect your opinion and in normal friend zone situations this is part of the correct response. However I was being LJBFed precisely because she was already too jealous of me seeing other women and the thought of being hurt by me was making her not want to continue the relationship.

As an update, she called me the next day and said she'd been thinking about me a lot. In fact, she had run away from her friend to call me because her friend was telling her not to. She said she didn't understand why I wouldn't compromise and be friends with her. My "no friends" ultimatum worked well. I said let's talk about this face to face and maybe we can compromise.

We met for dinner and I said my better compromise would be to continue with a relationship with her, and for the time being agree to not see other women, to see how things go. I also got out of her that her previous relationship involved a bad breakup and her being cheated on, which is probably where all this is coming from. She agreed and immediately switched from somewhat distant all night to warm and happy, and we immediately were touching and cuddling on the sofa in this bar like nothing bad had ever happened.

I have now friend zoned my other girls, who I care less about anyway, and will be interested to see where this thing goes. Seeing her tonite just for a quiet night in with a movie. If she brings up any more jealousy stuff, or refuses to have sex then I'm just gonna say fuck it and move on, but I think it's worth exploring.

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