Here they are coming from a woman:
1.
Never initiate first contact with a text. It is basically saying "I don't want to bother you and I'm not sure if you're interested but *insert text here*" You are a man. You are not phased by voice-on-voice contact.
2.
Stay away from smileys. This is a literal transcript of what happened last night:
HB: He said "what are you doing tonight
". smiley face? how gay.
Especially this one :-p - it just reminds us of our little brothers. Also stay away from "omg", "rawr", "grr". In fact, use proper english (no abbreviations). You are a smart man who cannot be simplified by acronyms.
3.
Always keep the ratio 2:1 - as in she texts you twice for every one time you respond.
4.
Never talk about feelings or anything really important. Firstly it gives her too much time to think so her answers will be calculated to get to you spill your feelings. Secondly you are giving her proof to show to her girlfriends - never a good idea.
5.
Never respond right away. Wait ten minutes every time. This increases the amount of time she is thinking about you. If she takes ten minutes to respond, wait an hour. You are busier than her, remember?
6.
Never ever ask "what's up?", "how's it going?", "how r u?", ect. Those are code for "Hey! I'm alive! I need your attention and validation!" and are completely uninteresting.
7. If she disappears or doesn't text back,
DO NOT send a follow-up text. This looks desperate. You are too fucking busy to care if some beezy texts you back or not. Wait for her to respond. If she doesn't, its a dead line. Delete her number and move on.