How to deal with manipulative girls...



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:11 pm 
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I am learning and one of the things that continues to crop up is a girl that is manipulative.

How do you treat them? and if it is too late to be hooked in by their manipulation, how would you show them that you are having none of it?

Im intrigued. Would it be as simple as calling them out on it? or ignoring them? or giving them a taste of their own medicine?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:26 pm 
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i went through the same patch as u man and i might be able to help you out, theres alot of ways you can approach this one depending on what you want to do with the girl. since getting into the game i've noticed those manipulative techniques are just shit test and if you think you've been manipulated by them you've lost my friend, although the game is not over :). what i did was i treated the girls the same way as i did but when they try and pull that kinda shit on me i give them attitude and see how they react it always makes me laugh at the end of the day.

1)HB: can you pick my friend up and take us to a party and then take us back home?(puppy face)
Dilaks: sure give me $20 for gas and for wasting my time and ill do it :)
HB: YOUR MEAN!!!
Dilaks: your the 1st person to say that to me today THANK YOU(big grin), although you missed out on my best flaws :)
HB: (gets confused)
Dilaks: LOLing away

2) jus leave the girl, would you really wanna be in a relationship with a munipulative girl? Thats a really big time waster for me, besides theres plenty of girls out there.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:32 pm 
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Quote:
i went through the same patch as u man and i might be able to help you out, theres alot of ways you can approach this one depending on what you want to do with the girl. since getting into the game i've noticed those manipulative techniques are just shit test and if you think you've been manipulated by them you've lost my friend, although the game is not over :). what i did was i treated the girls the same way as i did but when they try and pull that kinda shit on me i give them attitude and see how they react it always makes me laugh at the end of the day.

1)HB: can you pick my friend up and take us to a party and then take us back home?(puppy face)
Dilaks: sure give me $20 for gas and for wasting my time and ill do it :)
HB: YOUR MEAN!!!
Dilaks: your the 1st person to say that to me today THANK YOU(big grin), although you missed out on my best flaws :)
HB: (gets confused)
Dilaks: LOLing away

2) jus leave the girl, would you really wanna be in a relationship with a munipulative girl? Thats a really big time waster for me, besides theres plenty of girls out there.
I am not trying to win anyone over. I am learning and now I have spotted how they are manipulative I now just wanna see how to approach these situations.

i hate manipulation cos ultimately its down to them being not confident, insecure with low self esteem.

This girl will talk to me and ask me why I have not been speaking to her... manipulating me into feeling guilty. i JUST WANT TO CALL HER OUT ON IT and tell her what a manipulative girl she is etc.

Is that the right way to approach it?


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:11 am 
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Dude chill. She's asking why you haven't called her because she LIKES YOU. There is no manipulation here. Just say "yeah I've been busy" and change the conversation, not a big deal at all!

Everybody is constantly manipulating each other. Since the time you were born you cry to manipulate your parents to give you what you want. It's human nature. Sure, girls are more advanced at it than guys on average, but this is life. Don't be a little bitch and start getting all pissy at girls. Be ABOVE that shit and don't let it phase you.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 2:24 am 
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OP.. the best way to avoid (or deal with) manipulation is by setting boundries, having personal discipline and doing things on your own terms.

You have to be willing to walk away of a woman becomes too difficult. You have to have alternatives. As a skilled PUA you can meet women in your sleep so why would you put up with bitchy or manipulative behavior for ANY length of time?

Tell her to cut the crap or you will WALK. And be willing to walk if you have to.

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 1:38 pm 
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Quote:
OP.. the best way to avoid (or deal with) manipulation is by setting boundries, having personal discipline and doing things on your own terms.

You have to be willing to walk away of a woman becomes too difficult. You have to have alternatives. As a skilled PUA you can meet women in your sleep so why would you put up with bitchy or manipulative behavior for ANY length of time?

Tell her to cut the crap or you will WALK. And be willing to walk if you have to.
blondeguy - with my situation to cut a long story short, she has a bf a violent one, she comes to me for advice etc we hang out she says she likes me, another guy comes on the scene and she literally ditches me when I was away on holiday. She now barely says a word.

Playher man - Thats what I am now tryin to do set the boundaries. I am now ready to walk away and I am walking away. Im not gonna deal with this girls bullshit.

She sends me a text today saying that she cannot believe me that I am ignoring her (she sent me one email saying hey yesterday at work) - basically she is trying to shift everything to me so that im the one to blame and she says that IM the one who had decided not to talk to her (well only after she has been a stranger in her conversations with me). Its too obvious, she is conniving and manipulative and I have no time for that. So my boundary is not dealing with her bullshit.

With something like her text - should i reply? I havent yet.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 11:29 pm 
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Just do whatever is convenient for you. She has lost your trust so she no longer has the privilage of having HER feelings considered when you deal with her.

From now on deal with her based on what makes YOU feel good. And if she doesn't want to do things on your terms or apologize for being a bitch then keep ignoring her.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:00 am 
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Deal with it. You made a classic mistake by being nothing but a shoulder to cry on. When she kept goin to you, you were no longer a viable mate, you became a human diary, for her to vocalize her feelings. She wasn't being manipulative, she was sad, and she never saw you as boyfriend material. You were in the FRIEND ZONE, and so yeah, she's not gonna understand why her FRIEND suddenly started ignoring her. You shoulda made a move.

Now, go out, have some fun, and forget about this girl. Don't ignore her, just don't be a security blanket. If she wants to say hi, say hi back, but if she starts complaining, just say you really don't think you should get involved, as thats between her and her boyfriend.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:42 am 
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In this case, I have to agree with the previous posters--seeing you differently from how you wish that she would see you does not constitute manipulation. You're definately in the friend zone.

It may be human nature to manipulate, but at the same time, my advice would be to ignore the overly manipulative and head-game type women. They're just not worth it.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:52 am 
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A piece of advice I once received (from a guy): "Guys always know when they're leading someone on, but women often don't."

Basically, men often go into situations thinking that they would like to date/sleep with the specific woman they're interacting with, while women themselves often don't view male-female relations in this same light; because of this, women can often easily lead guys for the simple fact that they have different expectations. This isn't always true, of course, but I've found it helpful to keep in mind.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:55 am 
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I totally agree that I had been put in the friend zone but we aint even freinds now which just proves that she just wanted me for the emotional tampon and yeah its my fault for allowing that to happen. Then again I cared for her. Where as she had just brushed me aside.

I am now ignoring her.

I was never gonna continue to be her friend but I was never manipulating her. I actually treated her well and she did me but I fucked things up and basically become a chump in tryin it on with her.

By the way - she did like me and I was a chump in the respect that I didnt really escalate or had the guts to do something more.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 08, 2010 7:15 pm 
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So you fucked up and got yourself into the friend zone. You just didn't make a move quick enough. We've all been there. It does suck when a girl does that, just completely ditches you for another guy and brushes you aside. I've been in the same situation a few times.

The only thing you can do is tell her exactly how you feel. Be 100% honest. If she is a good friend she will try to understand why you feel the way you feel, explain that to her. The quote Melissa just said "Guys always know when they're leading someone on, but women often don't" is true. I was in this situation with a girl, I told her how I felt, and she had no idea I liked her as anything more than just a friend. She apologised for leading me on even though it wasn't really her fault. She's a really cool girl, and now we're good friends.

If you tell her how you feel and she gets really defensive, keeps going on how she hasn't done anything wrong (I've had a few like that) and she isn't ready to even try to understand how you feel, you're better off just cutting her off completely. She's selfish.


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