I need you guys to absolutely learn from my mistakes.
I decided to become a PUA because I fail at relationships. I have never had a problem getting women. I have a problem keeping them. I want something more meaningful than to be treated like a piece of meat.
I’ve been in the game for 2 months now and I’ve watched how I’ve improved. Last week I approached 50 women. I picked up only 1 number and I lamely f-closed her.
So, after the incident of ED with the HB9, I needed to get some closure.

You can view that article here: hb9-vs-erectile-dysfunction-vt73818.html?highlight=

So I asked her what It was about me that scared her off. This was her reply:
I’ve mentally grown a lot lately… my ex was my first sexually and my second is amazing in bed and when he felt I was feeling more than he wanted, he ended it even though he craved me so much that I saw it every time. After that I wanted that again but nothing has come close to him.. it could be just because I’m extremely attracted to who he is as a person and of course his cute persona and yet manly. He did it all right for me, I never felt bored. But simply I have more in common with this other guy than you. And hes so laid back which is what I'm used to in a man. But at the same time he gave me his perspective on my actions with such confidence.. he never hesitated when I asked him something which told me he wasn’t lying. He didn’t run game on me because he knew it wouldn’t work on me. (I ran game on her and got her into bed, so she didn’t know what she was talking about.) I wouldn’t change a thing about him, were I that type, and I like that. I can accept him for who he is. I no longer want a friend with benefits, its just not for me.
1) I didn’t give her the bold look
2) I wasn’t man enough for her
3) We had no real connection
4) I’m Not laid back enough
5) I’m too aggressive and yet you hesitate
6) I wasn’t attractive enough
7) I wasn’t confident enough
(I think slower than most men because I formulate answers). She thinks I lied to her at some point.
9) I wasn’t accepted enough

It boils down to this and this alone:

I wasn’t alpha male enough.

This was my devastated response to her. I answered this way because I felt like I was being the better person. When I look at it now, it looks like I have my tail between my legs:
Alright HB9, your point is taken. Perhaps things will change for the both of us one day and we can try again later in life. Thanks for your honesty. I hope you get what you’re looking for.

Im not depressed right now, stressed and angry, yes. I’m angry at myself for the entire thing.

However, the feedback and learning that I get from this is great.

I’ve only been a PUA in training for 2 months. I can enter a 6 set without anxiety. I can isolate targets… Hell, I crashed a bachelorette party of 5 women Saturday. I never would have been able to do this without training and the community. Oddly enough, when I woke up this morning, all I could think of was

What would Black Dynamite have done?

That dude is an absolutely fictional character; however, he is alpha male to the core. I behaved like a bitch and I should have stood up for myself.

I’m afraid of the game and what its going to do to me. I love who I am and I don’t want to change. However, if I don’t, I’m going to keep coming home alone. I’m out of options.

If there’s anything I’ve learned about being an artist is this:
No matter how hard you work,
No matter how many hours I put into my skill,
There is ALWAYS someone better than you; the key is to accept this fact.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not alpha, I’m just not alpha enough. I think I can find a happy medium between Optimus Prime and Black Dynamite.

I realize that there have been guys in the game who have been fuckin since they were 6yrs old. These guys put in 10k hours of time into their game. At best… even after marriage, I hit 5k-6k hours. These guys perfected their game while I perfected my art.

My son will have the advantage cause his dad will be a PUA.