I have been dating her for about 2 months now. Few things I don't like about her is that she has wayyy too many friends (including guy friends), she goes out with them at least twice a week, and keeps talking about them when we are together. . But having too many friends is not the problem, the problem is that they are more important to her than me ( or so it seem to me, I could be over exaggarating ).
Last night for example, she went out with a few of her girl friends and I told her that I was going out as well. I stayed at one bar and they went bar hopping which to me does not sound OK. I expected her to stay together with me instead of bar hopping with her friends. Her friends are all single and they are all out on the prowl to look for guys. And that bothers me.
When we are together she tells me all about her guy friends. If we are out eating and she sees some guy she knows, she immediatelly gets excited and starts talking about the person and how 'awesome' they are. Last night I talked to her and asked what she was doing today. She said that she might be hanging out with 'Guy X'. . . Now please someone tell me if this is normal in a two-month long relationship??? Even if the guy has a girlfriend, is a homosexual or is the biggest wuss out there... it doesn't matter, I still don't like this and I need help with dealing with this stuff.
I need some advice. Break up or continue to do this while hating every second of it???

Life is short. If you're hating every second, look for someone new.

Do the same thing to her --> go out heaps with some of ur girl friends and talk about it and stuff. She'll get the message

First off, you must act cool about it to a large extent. To you it's a big deal, to her it might not be. To her this might just be a normal part of her normal life and if you find it abnormal, she'll find you abnormal. You cannot afford to display insecurity specially when the chick happens to be overly social.

Although when it starts to bug you really bad and you feel as though she's doing this on purpose (which is very much possible), just throw a
(Or use something you're more comfortable with).

Next, it's time to show your social skills off. Hang around with chicks, discuss it with her. You're not going to be a victim of her games.

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Women are plenty, time is not.

I'm with Hobbit on this one. This sounds like a jealousy problem to me. If you have any specific reason to believe that she might be unfaithful, then it's OK to be jealous. Otherwise, you just have to decide to trust her and to brush those feelings of insecurity off - they're figments of your imagination. What's more - people get divorced after 50 years of happy marriage because they find dark secrets out about each other. You just can't know a person well enough to know for certain that they don't have anything fishy going on on the side - you just have to decide to trust them. It's the only way.

Maybe you also feel that she's not giving you enough attention. All that running around with friends takes time from her hanging out with you. OK, that may be a problem, if she hardly ever takes time to hang out with you. But you really can't demand that she stops seeing her friends. She probably had a rich social life before you two met, and you have no business coming around telling her to change her life for you. Would you do that for her? I hope not. If you did, people here would tell you to man up and be yourself. The same goes for her.

As for you expecting her to stay with you at that bar - maybe she expected you to follow her around to all those bars? Sounds to me like you were a needy mood-killer that night. You were expecting her to turn all her friends down in order to give you her undivided attention. Come on, don't do that, or she's sure to dump you in no time. Sorry, but that's the truth.

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Seriously consider this, about 5 years ago now, when I was in my first proper relationship I was horribly jealous, it's embarrassing... I used to hate it whenever she went out with her friends instead of me or prioritised them over me. One of the problems was that my friends vary rarely wanted to do anything, which meant if I wasn't with her then I wasn't really doing anything at all. (I guess it's a double edged jealousy, both jealous in the traditional sense and jealous that has other people to go out with).

Anyway, once I was at university and had made a million new friends who wanted beer every night of the week my old jealous ways seemed to disappear. Other factors we restarting my hobby (which gave me a sense of direction and even more friends!), and reading material by Paul McKenna. PUA stuff didn't come till later but of course this material is also helpful.

Jealousy is essentially a problem of low self worth, my advice is to take up a hobby, get some sense of validation and make lots of new fun friends. That's the easiest way to get rid of jealousy because by doing so you're naturally increasing your self worth and thus eliminating jealous feelings and subsequent actions.
Personally I disagree, there's no need to be jealous. I mean what's the worst that can happen if she's unfaithful? You leave her and move on to somebody better. There's never any need to be jealous.

Well, I meant more something along the lines that if he has some reason to actually believe that she's unfaitful, he can act on that, and otherwise he should just decide to not be jealous.

I think that we agree, even if we put it differently. Maybe it's my English that keeps me from stating my mind clearly.

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A lot of you might change your opinion after you read the following...

So I mentioned guy 'X' above and how she was going to hang out with him that night. It turns out that it is two guys that she went to hang out with... Before going to their place my neighbor and I invited her to come over and eat dinner and then she could go to their place after eating. She said she would and said that she will be there around 7. I text her a little after 7 asking if she is coming still... To which she responded that it is too late now and that she is on the way to guy 'X' and guy 'Y' place to predrink. I was pissed and told her to go have fun with her guy friends! Then I went to the same bar I always go with a couple of my friends. She came to the same bar and after spending about 2 hours there, she finally came up to me and said: "I just wanted to come by and say HI"... I told her that she shouldn't do that after being there for two hours.. and then I left home.. She was still with her friends hanging out at this dance bar... One of my other friends texted me and told me that she was grinding on either guy X or guy Y... Then I texted her and said that we need to talk.. She never responded to that text and my call.. .
The next day her friends are texting me asking where she is... I had no idea where she was... Soon after that she texts me saying how sorry she was and that she didn't know what got into her the previous night. .
Then we met up and talked and I told her I wanted to break up. . . I told her what bothered me and what I didn't like. . She was devastated when I told her... She cried and said that she wants to be with me and that she will change anything just to be with me...
So I did the wussiest thing ever and said that only way she can be with me if she promises to change and I told her specifically what she needed to change. She agreed and now we are still together, although I am still pissed off and feel like I made a mistake not ending it right there and then. . .
Thoughts???

Yeah, I do change my mind based on your last post. This means that you do in fact have something to act on, which means that you're not just a jealous guy. And I think I agree that you did wrong in not just dumping her right there and then, but on the other hand, I could never tell you what would be right or wrong in your specific situation.

Breaking up could be the perfect strategy, even if you intend to stay together. It may serve as a hig-risk freezeout. However, maybe you can still save this. OK, so she's gonna change. So are you. Show her that you're the man and you mean business. Also, follow T_M_G_3's advice and get a rich social life besides her. Demand to get a lot of her time, but not for boring stuff (like staying at the same bar and turning her friends down). Make her bring you to stuff, and bring her to stuff yourself.

And make her realize how close she is to losing you. Keep her on the line without actually nagging about it. Make her realize that you have alternatives and that you have a social life without her. Make her understand that you don't need her, that she's privileged to have you around.

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I'll make this short...

- You did the right thing breaking up with her. If you're not happy, leave.

- She sounds young, like 18 to 24 and sounds like a party girl. They live a certain lifestyle around that age. You either join in or get left behind. SHE WILL NOT CHANGE FOR YOU AS IT IS TOO MUCH FUN.

- You just put a bandaid on the problem as she will grow to resent you for interrupting her fun and the issues will more than likely arise again. If I were you, I'd do her a favor and break up with her. You're stifling her and trying to change her. Why would you do this to someone? That seems very inconsiderate.

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I think that you did well, you made it clear that such behaviour isn't acceptable to you and if she wants to continue with the relationship then she has to change this behaviour. She knows the score and she knows where she stands. Good job.

I wish I knew if this thing will happen again... Hex you are right, she is 21 but does not seem like a party girl... or at least I didn't know. She seems very mature for her age. This whole thing happened out of nowhere. The biggest thing that bothers me is that she spent the night at those guys' place. . She tells me she slept on the couch and I beleive her... I just don't think I can get over this. . I will wait a few days or even a week or two to see if it still bothers me down the road, but she is really close to losing me. . .

Alright bro, hope it turns out well for you.

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