Hey guys,
recently I'm turning kind of into a female player and since I came out of a long, monogamous relationship and never really did the whole dating thing (number---> call/text ---> Dinner etc, just feels forced, I always met men in more natural settings).

I have a kind-of long term relationship (we havn't defined our realtionship and don't want to, but it's definately more than casual, non-committed. we're making a lot of plans and it's very emotional) and we both 100% agree that it's totally non-exclusive (he's had open relationships before and is open to polyamory).

Now I have a date, where I'm still not sure it's a date, tonight with a very cute guy I've been into for a while (wrote about him on the forum) and a definately date with a professional athlete on thursday.

The guy I'm seeing today I really like and I don't want him being hurt if I seduce him and then he finds out I already have someone else in my life, someone who has kind-of a boyfriend status. On the other hand I need him to finally get that I'm attracted to him without him thinking it's just physical.

The guy I'm seeing thursday is really eager to date me on a regular basis (a little too eager^^) and I don't want him getting false expectations, thinking he can make me his girlfriend.

oh and the perhaps biggist issue is that I know all three guys via the same organisation, even though they don't know each other, word might get around and there's always the chance things could get ugly if one of them is upset ...

So yeah, any experience when/how to explain that you won't be exclusive, without it being too early so they don't even want to get to know you any more or too late so they feel you set them up? :S

is this like a twlight story?

"I love all three of you, but due to my weak indecisive female mind I'll string all of you along, but its okay, because I care!"



thats what it seems like.

you need to decide if you're wanting three noncommitments or 1 commitment, not some weird mix of the two.

rule of thumb though, best time to tell him you have another guy, is when he's already hot and bothered, he'll be less likely to care.

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

Be up front.

I have never heard a guy turning down sex because a girl said she didn't want to get serious. And as for maintaining an emotional connection with all three - just be yourself, have a good time, and pencil in some non-sexual activities.

Just be safe.

well I've had a man refuse to kiss me unless I tell him, I'd be monogamous
Somehow in the past I mostly attracted men, who are looking for a conventional long term relationship. And wanted to get serious very soon.
Hope that's over, since I've found someone who shares my view on relationships.

Anyways, guy #2 I found out 2night only sees me as a friend/colleague and doesn't wnat to date within our organization... sucks, but not worth trying to change

guy #3 is calling me too often, so I probably have to tell him soon anyways, that I'm not his girlfriend and not into being controlled or available all the time.
So then it might also make sense to also tell him, that I don't believe in the possessive idea of exclusiveness ;-/

OP.. I really don't see the problem/issue.

Just keep dating them and enjoying yourself. If one of them wants to leave for whatever reason... they can leave. So what?

If you don't want to commit to them.. there is nothing to worry about. You can always replace them.

A player is not concerned about loss because in a players mind.. all sexual partners are replacable!

_________________
Women are smarter than you think... but not as smart as THEY think