hahaha this is golden

"___has been cleaning up his friends list... if you're reading this, congratulations! You're still cool! But don't get too comfortable "

I tried this. 1 like, within 30 seconds, but this wasnt peak time . No likes since haha.

EDIT- 3 likes. All females. (note only 1 attractive female, and shes only a hb6).

"I miss shark week and hate Jersey shore. I think they need to make a show where they take the kids from Jersey shore and feed them to sharks."


Just used this and my wall blew up and ended in a date.

Like it man good stuff in this thread. A lot of these you can use in regular conversation too.

will try this one now. good one

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have u ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

I just had to register and tell you guys this one.

I used this one this morning....

says never mix (over the counter pain pills) with beer. Next time, I will read the directions.. Well..that is when I get my eye sight back and figure out which country I just woke up in.

I got tons of hits.

You guys are awesome.

someone made mention of t-shirt ideas making good status updates, been working on a few good shirt ideas, some of them need a visual so won't really work here but heres some I came up with

Does this status (shirt) make my insecurity look fat

I don't have a superiority complex, there's nothing complex about it, I'm just so much F**KING BETTER THAN YOU!

I was going to write a status (wear a shirt) that insults the reader, but those people are doushbags
(mainly cause I'm just sick of seeing everyone in shirts reading 'a little birdie told me you're an idiot' or 'I'm not mean, you're insignifigant' and thinking they're so clever, even though it kinda contradicts my one abuv

For some reason, sick jokes are always pretty popular.

"My ex girlfriend called me a pedophile - how does a 9 year old know these words?"

"Apparently, boxing is the only place where judge's decision is in favor of the black guys"

"Tony Blair has admitted he was once a borderline alcoholic. Imagine the feeling waking up hungover, realising you've invaded Iraq."

"My wife said she is getting fed up of me jumping to ridiculous conclusions. Which is why she will probably leave me and run off with a milkman."

Tried them all - great success

I used this: ___ is the next big thing. I got a lot of comments and likes, it`s feels good.

this one got me 10 likes in 2 minutes,

may be insensitive, a real jerk, sometimes selfish but without him, it would be like watching american pie without stiffler it just doesn't make sense

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"I'm not here to pleasure myself but to give this girls the best times of their lives is my only motivation" ----bikermello

btw add me on facebook i could use the friends to DHV
Lonewolf_Melo@yahoo.com

I used "___thinks brunettes do it better." and within 5 minutes i had 12 Likes

may be insensitive, a real jerk, sometimes selfish but without him, it would be like watching american pie without stiffler it just doesn't make sense

This was Gold!

These are great! Keep 'em coming!

Posted one today "I'm not trying to impress you by telling you something crazy that would make you wanna sleep with me or anything like that, but uhh... I'm SPAM. just sayin."

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I will never claim my suggestions to be what is purely right. These are just what they are: suggestions. If I give a suggestion to you and it sounds good, but backfires miserably, do not blame me. I can't guarantee you anything.

Hahaha These are awesome