ALRIGHT, this girl if confusing as hell, but lets keep in mind i overthink things.

We danced one night and held hands. Spark. This is how i got the first date. i facebooked on her wall:
ME - ur weird, i dunno if i like it or not, we need to get to the bottom of this.
HB - lol.......get to the bottom of what ? i know u like weird, cuz ur just as weird, so
there is nothing to figure out.
talk later mr.Direct
ME - listen punk dont start an arguement u cant win, just do me a favour... tell the
girl in the mirror i like her smile(got that line from the forum lol)
HB - lol.... hahahahahah.... i believe u started the argument darling and i believe
im strong enuff to win a fight with u, believe u know that 2 that's y ur putting
up such a front. and by the way im not a messenger so i think u need to man
up and tell that girl u like her smile yourself Mr....

the next day i fb chatted her saying:
ME - ok im taking charge now
HB - im confused lol
ME - we are hanging out
HB - tell me where and when
etc etc etc......

OK now check this shizzle out!
i go to get her on monday, she tells me she forgot! Me being the alpha i am i was like bla bla bla thats great.... btw we are still going lol.... she then said ok and she got ready..... we had an AWESOME night.

i set up the second date, this time i just called her before i went over, no answer. So i was pissed and went to a club instead... i msged her the next day saying,"i dunno whats going on but im not playing ur games, cya around".

I saw her at a club on friday, and i just walked passed, and shook my head at her, then she came and talked to me saying how she wasnt playing games and that she FELLLLL ASSLEEEEEEEEEP!!!!! and when i called her the next day she was cooking... i was thinking why not call back but w/e! We ended up dancing all night and she would kiss me every now and then but then turn her head, she agreed to leave with me and we went to a friends house and on the couch we really started getting into it.

The next night i told fbed her and said i wanted to hangout she said ok and i went by her house and we went for a stroll along the beach and got drinks etc, but she didnt really want to kiss me this time. I asked her about it and she said," you want me to answer that?" i was like uhh YEA, u wont hurt my feelings i just dont like being in the dark... She said," im just not mushy, im cool i dont like touching all the time," fair enough i guess?

She txted me yesterday just small talking at work then said she couldnt talk anymore, whatevs. I called her this morning and said, i want to see you, she said ok when? i said no idea lol i never think these things through i just know i wanna see you, anyways we planned for 2moro night.

NOW this is where i get annoyed again... i was like, dont forget or fall asleep this time its hard on the self esteem haha... she was like ok but u gotta call me during the day to remind/confirm(cant remember which word). i was like ok ill call 2moro(while thinking to myself wtf) then she said,"wait! You can still call me tonight." i said ok ill call tonight.

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NOW, in my over dominant alpha head(im actually a lil too assertive i know this already, even my family says so, and ive turned more than one girl off with my sexual aggressiveness)... my spider senses are tingling because:
A - how the hell can you forget a date??? or fall asleep?
B - is giving me a soft landing? or are some girls just not mushy all the time
C - she is telling me to call her and remind her about a date we have?? forealz?
D - shes always like, call me this time, call me that time, isntead of just calling me
but ive read more than once that thats good, so im not really worried here.

I read myster's book and he said specifically, some girls NEED to be chased, thats just how they are, so im keeping that in mind.

Does it sound like shes trying to beta male me or let me down easily? when i ignore her she txts me saying how are you, so i guess shes interested.

Do some girls just like to chill sometimes? Normally i can make girls bend to my will but she doesnt and its bothering me!

Keep in mind that even when i was trying to make moves and she was telling me to stop it wasnt like bad(im not a rapist), she was laughing and giggling but she wasnt in the mood she said.

Should i even call her tonight? i dont like bitches telling me what to do, but then again i suck when it comes to anything past a one nighter and this attitude may be why haha.

shes really fun and down to earth and mature, and likes to adventure like me. i really like her, we do get along.

what should i do?

Personally forgetting a date is bullshit, but give her one benefit of the doubt, call her, go with your plans, if they fold her again, don't go AFC, just don't contact her, she will come running and it'll be in your game.

I get a sense that she enjoys your company though, so arrange the date and enjoy the occasion, of course some girls like chilling, just how some guys do ! (I do)

See what happens, be confident in yourself, and the way you are, seems you already are confident anyway, she's liking it.

Keep it up! Let us know how you get on.

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Been there, done it, oh and still doing it!

: Blog entries@ http://kennyspuathoughts.wordpress.com/

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Holy crap buddy. I've been in a very similar situation before. Never really got resolved.

Whenever I was hanging out with this girl in person, everything was good and we become so distracted we'd lose track of time.

But it's when we're not hanging out that issues arise. She seldom responds to phone calls, - I can count THREE occasions where she's ignored my texts and phone calls for 3-4 days and I've actually given up - but then on my last and final call after a freeze out, she'll answer and we'll hang out like everything's been normal.

She never initiates contact and has never once asked me out to anywhere. Even when I see her in a lecture, she will sit by herself and not acknowledge my presence, but if I playfully throw a pencil at her head, she'll come running over with a smile.

Sounds like I'm a total AFC and she's calling the shots right? Not exactly.

I maintained a non-needy frame and maintained control. We ended up going on 8-9+ dates now and she admitted to liking me (she's also flaked on 3 of those dates, but I believe I handled her shit tests well by allowing her to 'make up'). Suffice to say, she was a really weird girl in terms of behavior.

Andronikos- I'd be more than happy to read what you have to type if you can be bothered. Otherwise, you could PM whatever advice that is prudent to 'Direct' to me as well. I'm interested in what others have to say about this novel situation.

Direct- your girl doesn't happen to have christian values does she?

The girl does not have Christian values, thats me haha.

I think Andronikos hit the nail on the head with treating her like a friend sometimes. She admitted to questioning my motives big time.

I dont think im going to chase her anymore we had a bit of an arguement(about her flakiness). We had a talk at her house the next day and i dont think its gunna work out.

I wish i didnt feel like every girl gone was a loss at a game but rather just not compatible, it would mess with my ego alot less...

Ive been chasing her even though I didnt really want her just to win, because shes not that nice in my opinion.

This is the second girl in a row that have behaved similar. Great time together, real sketchy when not together.

I always feel rushed to get the girl before i miss my chance, I need to learn how to slow down

Yeh. I had the same 'I'm questioning your motives' speech from her.

Which I found very odd, since we'd been on so many consecutive dates and I had been ramping up kino everytime. When we weren't together, I'd text her once every 1-2 days and see her for an outting once, sometimes twice a week.

Yet she still questioned whether I liked her.

What's confusing is- how can she be questioning your motives at the same time that you are chasing her too much. Shouldn't chasing her too much have made your intentions very clear?

Would slowing down only make her question your motives more?

If you don't mind me asking, what did she end up confessing to you during your talk and what 'motives' did she bring up? I'd like to know since we seem to be at the same sticking point and it would be great not to repeat the same mistake. PM me if you want to swap some pointers.

Ok, well ill give u a lil about what im like

Im very assertive and dominant. Normally girls bend to my will, but its the ones that dont that i seem to be attracted to.

By lifestyle i hold people together, teams, groups, friends, family. When someone flakes it sends me up a wall.

Im usually honest and just say whats on my mind.

I generally dont ask hey wanna do something or anything, i just say i wanna see you 2moro.

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Things that i have trouble understanding:

How can you tell when something is a shit test or when a girl is genuinely not liking something? In my head everything is a shit test and i just have to beat it.

Everything in life for me is a struggle for dominance, and whenever a girl disagrees with me at all i see it as an act of subordination and feel compelled to deal with it.

All this being said, i like doing things for girls, not for validation but because i like surprising my loved ones and making their day, but sometimes i guess it may come across as that.

Do i always need to think about who is in 'control'? I think this is one of my major problems. Its hard for me to relax now because i overanalyze everything a girl says or does, and think about how best to conquer it to stay in control. How do i know when i can just relax and enjoy time.
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Even though i do have a problem since this is not the first girl to be like this, i think shes an idiot with issues, and her issues were giving me issues haha.

she never admitted anything to me... just that she doesnt like making plans and i have to call her and remind her about dates, or if she doesnt feel like going shell just not answer or fall asleep, fuck that. But thats what she "admitted"...


Anything sound like u?????? i would love to hear a lil about ur stuff

You sound pretty similar in temperament.

I just turned 24 and graduated from RMC Duntroon 4 years ago (Australian Army’s equivalent of West Point). My friends are all waif-ey arts types who expect me to navigate almost everything.

I’ve since left the service and I’m studying med now – going back to school prompted me to develop natural game. I too keep that mindset where, if I’m unreactive, unattached and not clingy then I can just tell her I want to see her because I feel like it.

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shit tests and struggles for dominance? Yes.

Just today, I was walking back to campus after having lunch with a girl I’ve been running into. She insisted that we walk back ‘through the library’, I really wanted to go via the bridge. We teased each other abit about which way we should go. She walked off and said ‘I’m going this way’. Keeping it playful, I yelled back ‘ok well I’ll see you soon then, because I need some sun and fresh air’ and strolled off.

For me, I never relax until after the 10th or 12th date, and even then, be the same guy who attracted her in the first place.

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This girl in particular I’ve been ‘seeing’ for 4 months. Yeh 4 fucking months.

Any other girl I would have worked out by now. But not this one. When we see each other, we act like a couple, but when we’re not together we might as well be strangers. For some reason, this becomes strangely compelling and I’ve since developed serious oneitis to the point where sleeping with my friends with benefits just didn’t do anything for me anymore.

I can’t say if this girl has issues, but she sure is weird. Example:

Last week, we saw each other for coffee, acted like we normally do. Next day I call her. No answer. A few days later, I call again. No answer.

Today, a week after no reply from her, I called again for the third/final call. Lo and behold, I get through to her and she starts talking about how she’s been busy etc.

...but here’s the clincher. After work, I get home and realize that yesterday, she had sent me a really long email just to chat. She's always been this confusing and I'm starting to think girls with christian upbringings can need a lot of time before they trust you.

I’m interested in what your girl meant by ‘motives’. Since verbatim, this girl also said to me ‘-I don’t know what your motives are’.

It’s frustrating but no big deal. I've been keeping busy with my own projects. It's dragged on to the point where I no longer care about any particular outcome, just that one day, some outcome will probably be forthcoming.

It sounds like i am also having something very similiar to you guys...

I will describe the situation here and if you guys can PM me on some advice...
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Me and this girl have known each other since school. 2Weeks ago my mates and her went out to this club. My mate organized her to come out with us by saying that i liked her which she couldn't believe. We finally ended up hooking up and were talking outside for quit a long time where she seemed to lost track of time. The next day she smsed me saying how nice last night was, i then said to her that i want to see her next weekend and she said perfect! I said that we will do something on Saturday or Sunday and she responded with "how about both". We had some hectic conversations and she told me that i am the only person that she has ever been able to relate to.

So next week came and i decided to take her out for bowling and drinks (she warned me that she sucked at bowling) we were having alot of fun together and laughing at one another missing the bowling pins. After that we had some silent moments which didn't seem so awkward... I did a silly thing by asking her if she has found anyone to her prom dance and she said she was still looking...

I then went back to her house and told her that i couldn't stay for long but ended up staying at her house for 3hours(i was also getting smses by friends to come out to different places but continued to remain at her), we play fighted a bit and just spoke, i didn't want to do anything in her house as i was worried about the mom/dad seeing me kissing her etc.

When i left i kissed her on the cheek goodbye and held her for a 2 - 3secs. She asked me to sms her the next day saying if i want to come over or not(the next day i smsed her saying that i had a family thing i had to do that i totally forgot about). I then went home and she never smsed me saying thanks for the night.

We were speaking and i have called her only twice, i am not very good at text game and tend to start off stong in the phone conversation but then die down. Eventually the other day she asked me to come to her prom (which is a week away from now) and said she will let me know about the details which she hasn't.

When i went on Facebook i started chatting/flirting/teazing her a bit but she just didn't seem to respond at all. So i was thinking of calling her yesterday but decided not to as i was thinking that she probably found someone better. When i was out last night sarging with some friends she smsed me saying "Hi Nu!!! Feels like we haven't spoken in a while! How u !!?? Wat ur plans for the wknd??! Xxxx" so by seeing that she smsed me i am thinking that she is still interested in me so i decided i will call her later this afternoon. (she is VERY high maintenance)

I would truly appreciate it if you guys could tell me how i should deal with this situation as she gives me mixed signals sometimes and how to deal with High Maintenance girls (how often do you call them etc...).

I will also explain the full detailed story in a PM.

Your help will be TRULY appreciated!!!

Dante.

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"Some people are extra-ordinary because they put in the extra effort apart from the ordinary."