Dealing With a VERY Strange Dilemma



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PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 10:34 pm 
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To setup the backstory quickly, I've been speaking with an HB8 for a month or so. Things have gone well. We've been on a date or two, and have hung out multiple times (mostly among her friends).

In terms of communication, we prefer texting each other and have done so fairly consistently for a month. Sometimes there will be gaps of two or three days where we don't text, but that's been normal for us.

I know she's really interested in me, given that she's done a number of things and has said a number of things that confirm her strong feelings for me. Yet I'm in quite a bind right now.

On Wednesday, we went out on a date to two locations (a bar and a lounge). Everything went well and we had a great time. The attraction was there, the kino was there, and she invited me over to her place to spend the night.

That surprised me a little bit but still, it confirmed to me that she was really feeling me and trusted me enough to let me crash with her.

Nothing crazy happened physically when we were in her bed, given that I tried to escalate things, she had LMR, and I didn't want to force the issue with her. I could get the sense she didn't want to rush anything and neither did I, so I stopped escalating out of courtesy.

The rest of the night was chill. We talked, we made out, we cuddled, and enjoyed each other's company. Then I dipped out in the morning but before I left, thanked her for letting me to stay over and told her I'd hit her up.

... so I did on Friday night, not necessarily to meet up with her but just to see how she was doing. I texted her, by the way, but I've gotten no response from her and it's Sunday.

There's been instances in the past where I've texted her and she won't reply to me on that day, but she ALWAYS got back to me sometime on the next day. She's been consistent with that, yet this is the first time that hasn't gotten back to me the day after I sent her a text.

I'm trying to remember our night on Wednesday to figure out if I did anything wrong but I can't think of anything major. At least, not in my eyes.

Given that things have gone so well for us for about a month or so, I find this behavior strange. I've talked to two friends about this and they suggested to me that I wait for her to get back to me but personally, I want to call her tomorrow to make sure everything is good. The worst thing I've learned in life is to leave things assumed, rather than attack the problem head-on.

What should I do?

One of my friends (a girl I know) says it's "over" but I refuse to believe that. Is she right?


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:49 am 
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Heres my opinion. I would NOT call her tomorrow as she will probably not pick up and then your coming off as needy. Remember sometimes the one that invests the most can be the loser.

I would wait a bit longer and if nothing comes from her then send a flirty text or try and set up another date. Keep things relevant and do not go back into the past and ask her if she had a good time with you at her house etc.

Overall dont get to caught up and persue other women. It seems shes attached to you but maybe somethin did happen when you spent the night that she was turned off by and her LMR shows me she wants a long term thing or is worried about you fuckin and leavin.

Also remember that with texts you never know whats going on with other peoples lives in that she could have a family situation goin on or somethin shes caught up with. Since text is indirect.

Overall though do not let this trip you out and set up a new date building up attraction etc.

Hope this helps and good luck!

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:28 pm 
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You will pull your hair out wondering what went wrong - so don't.

Also, if you were calling, you'd be more in contact. I think all this texting and no calling is a bad idea. Texting is to keep in touch between phone calls, not to replace them. You can't flirt or maintain a proper connection very well if you're not calling. In my mind, that's part of this. Either because you couldn't build up enough comfort or attraction with text alone, or if not, at least you'd probably know a bit more about what's going on, because people give more information in voice than in text.

Sometimes this is because they've met someone else.

I think - don't do anything else for now. Leave it a week - and then PHONE.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:54 pm 
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Thanks for the replies.

I'll add that she's heading to Vegas this weekend with some of her friends for four days/three nights. I don't know what day she's flying out, but I assume either Thursday or Friday.

Part of the reason why I want to be proactive about the situation is that I want to make sure to address the issue before she flies out.

Not sure if that changes anything.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:28 pm 
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You can probably wait till after she gets back IMO.

IMO, this is a definite blow off, with no explanation, so you have no reason to be chasing her, and every reason to be annoyed. So call back a week or 2 later to see where she's at. Sometimes in this case it even pays to keep an eye on their Facebook without posting anything. if you dont' get anything out of her after that, you have to move on.


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