Most submissive guy in existence



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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:54 am 
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Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2010 11:45 pm
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Hey guys,
I am screwed up, and am going to fix myself. I need opinions on how to do it.

Forgive my rant, but it's useful to say this in order to admit to myself that I've got a serious problem.

----start long story---

Basically, I'm the most submissive guy in existence. I've had two girlfriends. Each lasted about a year. The second one was particularly bad. Any time she'd say, "I'm thirsty" I'd make her a fancy drink. "I'm hungry" was enough for me to take a 15 minute hike (each way) to her favorite shop to buy her lunch, while she lounged in bed naked (she knew how to keep me.. The sex was very good, and she is hot)

Eventually she brought up that she thought a friend at work was hot - I, being myself, encouraged her (anything that makes you happy, with a smile on my face). To her credit, she's been completely honest with me, and eventually asked me if it was OK with me if she has sex with him. Of course, I rationalized it (I'm being so nice to her that the other guy can't possibly be nice enough to keep her interested for long. What an idiot.)

So the sex slowed down to once every week and a half, maybe, and she was sleeping at this guy's house almost every day. Meanwhile she called me nearly every day to have dinner with her (at my expense). Needless to say I broke up with her after a few weeks.

---end long story---

So now I'm fucking tired of being used, and intend to get myself some. But as you can imagine, I have a ton of old habits that I have to break through.

First I need to learn to talk to women with confidence. I've been going out to a big park and forcing myself to make idle chatter, but it hasn't been going well. I can get myself to say something, but it always smarts of submissiveness or negativity in the end.

For example, I tried asking a HB7 and an HB9 pair if they know any good movies that are showing. It started out fine - they recommended a movie, I told them that it was overhyped and asked them what was so good about it (all planned beforehand) but then I wasn't sure what to say and told them that it was because I really needed their help because I was going on a date soon and didn't know anything about movies. Bam. Instead of being vaguely interesting, suddenly I'm a cute little kid about to go on a date. They awwed at me, and I left.

This fucking needs to change, but I feel like my brain is hardwired to say submissive things when I don't know what else to say..

Has anyone else been in this situation and gotten through it? Can any of you think of a way to try to train myself off of this? I've no problem with motivation or time, I seriously want to get this in order.


Last edited by char on Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:04 am 
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 6:36 am
Posts: 75
Location: Sacramento, CA
Yeah, first of all you will need a lot of practice to break the old habits. So you need patience. And you need to be aware of the submissive things you are saying. It might help to carry around a notepad and write them down after your interactions with HBs and then brainstorm later cocky/funny things you could have said.

If you haven't read it, get David DeAngelo's Double Your Dating and read it. It sounds like you need to work on inner game issues. David D. has a bunch of video seminars geared toward that, if you are willing to shell out the cash or download illegally. The advanced dating series and deep inner game are personal favorites of mine.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:41 am
Posts: 440
First off, I have to commend you for realizing your problem and making efforts to change it. It's too often guys blame this particular problem on the woman being a "whore" or a "slut"

That being said, you're absolutely right it needs to change. Changing something that you do naturally is very difficult, and like myself, blanking out during the interactions and reverting to this little wimp. I hated it.

I know this is hoakey sounding, but sit down and make a list of traits your looking for in a woman. What your willing to tolerate and what you wont. Sometimes taking all your feelings and thoughts and putting them on paper works wonders. ADHERE TO THIS. After you write it, look at it and treat it like Christ descended from the heaves and gave this to you. YOU wrote it, live by it.

That actually helped me alot. Personally, I still keep my little black book from when I first started PUA and all of thats in there. Sometimes I go back and glance over it. It's great to keep that little reminder.

It sounds like you need to begin with the basics of PUA and work upwards. There's gonna be great recommendations in this post, David D., Magic Bullets, and beyond. That whole writing thing was just to use as a reference and thats what I did personally and im happy I did it. After you get into PUA and develop skills and cultivate yourself, go back on it and you'll just notice the drastic improvement. Those goals you wrote down back then will be common knowledge.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 8:31 am 
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Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:55 pm
Posts: 216
Location: W Sussex
You'll definitely get over this mate, as you realise you need to change.

Do you do any sports/exercise?

You'll find if you do something regularly like going to the gym your base testosterone levels will be significantly raised and this will have a big effect on your dominance

Scamp


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 10:35 am 
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Joined: Thu Jul 29, 2010 6:02 pm
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Location: UK
First of all, all the guys that have commented before me have given very good, sound advice so try to take it all in.

You remind me of one of my mates. He's had two girlfriends in his life (one he's still with) and he does exactly the same things you've posted here. The 1st girlfriend he had sounds alot like the one that took advantage of you. He would do everything for her. Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but like my mate, you believed that being so 'nice' was the key to being the perfect boyfriend? This is WRONG. If you give women an inch, they'll take a mile. If you give them a mile, they'll take your soul :twisted: Women do NOT respect this type of behaviour. He really struggled after his 1st gf to find someone else and only got lucky with the 2nd (she loves attention).

This is a more common mistake that you think so don't beat yourself up about it.

Just remember that men and women are equal and so the relationship should be too. Don't do anything for them, that they're not prepared to do for you.


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