Initial post in brown. The first responses fit my experience way too closely to be wrong, so my primary questions are the ones at the bottom now.


So, there's no doubt in my mind that stories with dark parts can be useful. Women seem to listen with an intensity I can't come close to matching with positive emotions. But there's a hitch - I'm not doing anything to try to shift association of the negative parts off myself. I want to be the guy that they can hug afterward to feel better, not the guy that always makes them feel sad.

Can you think of some specific things that I can do with my body language or speech to make them feel like its me making them happy at the good parts, and something else making them sad at the sad parts?

Thanks.

--edit--
Shit, I have a lot to learn. I guess I'll rephrase in order to get this question out of my head, and then start being more positive.

Suppose in a really general sense I want to shift association off of myself. Consider these three examples:

Say I'm sitting in front of her and she gets a phone call, and she's getting bad news. How should I hold myself? Should I take a trip to the bathroom? Try to look casual? Nothing seems both alpha and appropriate.

Say I say "are you a dog or a cat person" and it hits a nerve, her cat just died. Any way I can reduce the impact?

Say I have to (for some reason or another) give her bad news myself. How do I reduce the impact?

What do I do in situations like those?
These are primarily for my own curiousity now.. Given the responses so far, I'm going to avoid negativity like the plague.

You guys are totally right. I've been a shoulder to cry on for 3 girls now (I've at least extracted myself soon afterwards in all 3 cases) but being seen as someone to do that to needs to stop right now. This is probably a primary reason why it's happening.

stop, dark parts are only used in a story but have a positive resolution. Stories about sadness do not create attraction, they may create compassion(horrible emotion) and to top it you will become associated with sad things. Their intensity doesnt matter.
Back when i was AFC i thought talking about problems and relating that way lead to an attractive connection. it does not. so stop

_________________
Inner game is the core, outer game is just an expression of it

Being the shoulder to cry on will make you ljbf's and then you are in a dark hole