Pick up is extremely confusing (you may have noticed). You'll find that you'll ask someone how to attract a girl, and the PUA will respond by either writing you a 1000 page novel or telling you its too complicated.

Maybe that question is too vague (way too vague), but I don't know how else to put it. How do you build attraction in a woman? The process is extremely complex.

Let me be honest here for a second - I've been in this 'game' for almost a full year now. With most people who have been part of anything for almost a year, you would expect them to get pretty good at it. You'd expect that they'd have honed their skills, gotten better, have lots of stories of success and failure, and be satisfied with their progress.

For me, that doesn't really hold true.

I still act around women the same way I did before I got into pick up. I say the same things, the same way, and get the same results. Sure, something has to change, that part is obvious - but what? And how?

I've read more than my fair share of 'pick up theory' - attracting women 101, how to build attraction, how to be charming, picking up on IOIs, core confidence. I've listened to seminars, read books, posted my questions and read the answers intently. Nothing has really changed, though, other than the way I view women.

Where do I go from here?

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-Sharplin
My journal:
sharplins-journal-vt84603.html?highlight=

I think at it's core, becoming successful in pick up has been really about one big thing (for me at least anyway)

1 - Building yourself a good life: this is not simple to do, but the concept is about being someone that other people want to be around.

This is going to be achieved in different ways and to varying degrees by different folks. For me, this was a solid career path, training really hard in collegiate wrestling and a big network of friends.

In doing so, you become someone that naturally fulfils most of the attraction triggers in a girl. You become a high value, confident and sociable guy who is content with himself and this becomes evident to everyone you meet.

MOST importantly, confidence and a mindset of abundance does not work without this concept. If you are only 'pretending to be confident' or draw your confidence only from audio-tapes it will show.

Pick up is not a lifestyle unto itself. You have to create a healthy lifestyle and then use the principles of pick up to supplement it.

It's gotten to the point now, where even if things don't work out with a girl, it does not affect me. The reason being that my inner game has become solidified, not by external validation from my successes with girls, but from solid, factual aspects of myself.

Of course, this is NOT to say that you cannot be successful in PUA without 'the good life'. But understand that being comfortable with yourself is the foundation of inner game. You don't have to be a raging success in all facets, but work on yourself continuously.

My life at the moment is still very average and prosaic. I am a pennyless med-student. I don't even have a decent car. But at least I'm comfortable with where I am, I really enjoy what I do, and girls can see that.

Without this base line to work from, PUA just becomes a set of rules and routines.

Ive seen guys like you grace this topic many of times and like cage walker said. Its about you first. If you we're a chick and You came to pick yourself up? Would you fall for it? If you even have to think bout it then NO. i've learn that picking up isnt about following what someone else is doing but picking up on the basic concept. using that to Your way. Building up Your way of attracting women. not everything is gonna work the same. Its an evergoing process that is always renewing itself. To this day i'm still honing and calibrating my skills. When you make mistake do you blame the material you use or yourself? my best advice. Take bits and peices of things and mold it to how it works best for you. build up your life style so you'll be happy with yourself first. i'm happy reguardless if i pick up a chick or not, cause no matter what ,i'm having fun! It shows, People sense these and is drawn to it. Every PUA has there days, but it doesnt get to them because they know " I am awesome" keep working at it and you'll find your nitche. The world is full women and its your's for the taking if you have the right desire.

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"Live life to the fullest, never look back, remember No regrets" J.f

Good question. I'ma have to write a whole new thread to respond to it though =D.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

I've studied human expertise for a while now, and there are major things that arise. First to become a master at most skills (World class level) you need to put in 10,000 hours of practice. Regardless of your IQ, initial talent, or personal strength when you begin. It does not happen sooner, it's always around 10,000 hours.

There is however an exception. Social skills, specifically this one, get picked up much faster than say boxing or golf. In fact, instead of years to become extremely proficient it happens in months.

Playing a guitar is extremely confusing when you first start, how many scales did I know when I began? None, I knew 4 notes, and I played crappy diddies with them. Then you expand, you learn an entire scale and how to play it, then you learn a second octave. You move on to chords, learn them. Soon you realize you know your guitar inside and out, and all it took was baby steps and practice. Then an interesting thing happens, you start to connect the notes you hear in your head when you think your own tune up with the fingerings on the guitar, and music happens.

It's the same with game, just keep adding notes. Notes like "Reaching the hook point", "Disqualification" or "Avoiding interview questions". Soon the music in your head of how you want the interaction to go will channel into your actions correctly. You won't consciously be thinking that you need to disqualify, you'll just do it.

But there's a caveat... You can't go out and do what your doing. You need to go out and make an effort to learn each "note". In the words of Albert Einstein, insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. Don't say the same thing you normally do, make it your mission to go out and practice negs. Go out and practice DHV conserving qualification, go out and reach the motherfucking hook point.

In short, How do you build attraction in a woman? The same way you eat an elephant, one bite at a time. Never look at the big picture of everything you need to learn. It just daunts you. I'm currently picking away at qualification, what are you going to pick away at?

It's funny you should say that, because I've been aware of the game and this forum for over a year now and I still don't have any clue what all of this stuff is, it sounds like chess or something.

When I began secondary school I didn't make any friends, my parents could tell I was depressed and work started to slip, and I got diagnosed with social difficulties.

So, I began to look at the popular kids, what was it that made them popular, was it because they were good looking? No, one kid was fat and ugly but he made all the girls laugh. I took all the best parts of these people and tried to mould them into myself, I guess you could either call it fake or being your best self but once I could see it working I grew more confident of myself and slowly started to be my own person.

However, this didn't help me much with the girls. I now had tons of friends and people I got along with, but I was just the guy girls loved as a friend. I had no clue how to go about this and decided to solve the problem. I looked at the guys who were good with girls, some made very sexual remarks, some were extremely cocky, others liked to touch girls without them asking (but it was never rape).

All of a sudden I had a rep as a ladies man, but I was still just going after for what I could get, and then I discovered the game.

The game basically taught me kino, and to be attractive to women you have to be confident, funny, and know what you want from life. It taught me some alpha body language such as take us space and also build connections with people from which to build more connections.

Sharplin, people see game as a huge complex thing, but it really isn't. There's just a few rules you have to work out, and then you use any way you want to get from A to B.

Seduction isn't disqualifying, it isn't reaching the hook point. For me, it's getting talking to a girl, seeing what she's like, going shopping with her and having a really good time. It's getting close to her and inviting her back to mine for "a bit because I'm going out later" and laying the moves.

Like you, I've read a lot of PUA stuff but I think the only thing worthwhile reading was things on inner game and the GWM kino thing.

Hope this helps you, because every time you make a post it's something extremely complicated and overthinking too much.

dancing-acting-and-singing-vt72541.html

My response to your question.

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Don't hate, just dominate.

thats your problem....its simple.You sound exactly like me.I am always seen as the best friend or the guy who jokes around but ive NEVER been lucky with ladies.
So what have i been doing since i joined the community? ive stopped being such a pussy around women,trust me its difficult and fcking scary at first to go against the the grain.but it needs to be done!!! How else will things change if you still doing the same shit.you are in such a comfort zone.One of the biggest key points ive picked up from the tons of material ive read is you just have to put yourself into that danger zone! Step out of normal.So the next time you meet a girl who youve never met before? Build some rapport (BE YOURSELF) but make sure she knows you clearly have a penis.make some sexual remarks.KINO KINO KINO...dont be scared to touch her.If you have decent social skills already most girls will be comfortable with you touching them.this is also my biggest problem.

So il just quickly share what happened to me a few weeks back.I went to a chill evening with some friends.Now i had met this chick before at the same place but that was in the AFC days so i was just a mess.This time though i had everyone laughing and going on....she was giving me some decent ioi's.... so when everyone got up to get a drink i managed to call her over and just put my hands on her shoulders and said 'I'm real glad im actually getting to meet you properly now'. Her eyes lit up and i could see i was in .Long story short is she had a bf anyways and i dont do 'boyfriend destroyers'.Just that kino touch and her being totally cool with it was amazing to me.i always initially thought you need permission to touch ladies.

So yeah bro...stop with the SAME shit.its not getting you anywhere is it?
MAKE A change..... go against the grain.the results will surprise you instantly

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Its time for a change....a huge Mother@#$@# change!