I've been gone for a while. It's with good reason too.

I've decided to:

A)Shut the fuck up and go into the field. xD XD.
B)Talk to 1 woman a day. Realistically.
C)Sum up the results overtime.

...I talked to old ladies, cashiers, girls my age, girls younger than me, girls older than me...small talk. 15-30 seconds of bullshit.

I realized something, after reading a bit...



...I had a deep need from certain girls that killed me when I didn't get that need.



My need...

...is that I need approval and constant adoration from women I consider beautiful/hot/attractive. I needed hot girls to subtly tell me "You're sexy" in a subtle way. I needed validation that I was a PUA.


Which led me to this conclusion: I am my own worst enemy.


I perceive myself as a dorky, nerdy creep who can't get a girl if my life depended on it, even though I affirm myself otherwise. Deep inside, I view myself as a stupid autistic retard with no social skills (Others tell me they see me as the guy who gets things going, and gets people pumped up and inspired).



...I have to be real with you guys; even though I've made positive strides, and learned how to keep positive in tough times...


...I still hate myself. A lot. I hate how I was bullied; I hate how I never had a social life, and I hate how I was never able to make friends with anyone until now.


I feel as if everything bad that happened to me was my fault, and that I am responsible for my abuse when I was younger. I feel I was responsible for others picking on me and making fun of me in front of the whole school. I feel I was responsible for spooking and creeping out the girls I was attracted to early on.



I feel as if everything was my fault.


Some of you are going to go "Pathetic. Grow up. Stop bitching". Please refrain from replying; I do not want to hear your "Your problems arent as bad as mine" responses. Tell me how YOU learned to "stop bitching", instead of telling me to stop.

I'm not looking for pity. I'm looking for an honest answer; a path to overcome this problem; a simple solution. The girl at work I was investing time and energy into ended up going cold on me, and purposely flirts with other guys in front of me just to irritate me. I'm tired of it man. I'm sick and fucking tired of being the #2 guy. I'm sick of being ignored, ostracized, and disrespected.


All I ask for is an ear (or eyes, in this case). I believe things can get way better, but as I'm going right now, it hurts to move forward. I keep moving, but it hurts man. It's like I'm walking across a tunnel with a vice gripping my chest and heart. I'm struggling to smile and shine the light, but emotionally, something's crushing me inside, and I find myself trying to reinforce my inner faith to move forward.

They say there's a light at the end of the tunnel. All I see is dirt and darkness, and my lantern shining a bit ahead. It's a strong light, but it can only go so far.





It hurts man. I'm crying right now. It hurts to lose that girl you gave part of yourself to, all because of inexperience and faulty behavior. I didn't know any better, and I have to be punished for it. It's a struggle for me not to wish death on guys with hot girlfriends and arrogant, cocky attitudes. It's a fucking struggle, but in the end, I internally end up wishing them well, and hoping life takes care of them. In the process, I feel destroyed and cheated. I feel as if I am a mistake.





...enough. Just tell me what I need to do. As of now, I want adoration and attention from attractive women. It's what will get me going. What do I do?

Hobbit's right. Craft a plan and go with it. There'll be bumps on the road but fuck that you'll get through it.

As for the "Stop Bitching" I recommend NLP even if it's an introductory book. Learn how you mind works and others' minds work. Learn what's the problem and get rid of it.

As for the adoration and attention, Mystery had it best. Magic. Women love it and you'll get that attention. Sometimes they'll beg you to show them what you did. The adoration is mixing game in the interaction. That'll come when you make your plan and set in action.
If you don't want to learn some cheap shitty magic tricks it's all about practicing game. Letting yourself get shut down until you learn mistakes, until you learn to calibrate, until creating rapport comes at the snap of a finger. Get the fuck out on the field and approach women and flirt. That's what most of us did and are doing.
If you don't then don't complain. It hurts because you let it hurt. Nlp teaches that. Become one of the greats.

_________________
Fox

life will always have ups and downs, the hardest thing to do is to realize peace, contentment, and happiness when it is happening. to struggle is to be human, your pain that you feel is shared by every other human on the planet. realize that feeling of being an outsider is actually what connects you intrinsically to all other living beings. we all feel inadequate, unfulfilled, the one thing that sets the wise apart from all us jack asses is their ability to live in the now. Appreciate every moment for what it offers.

The girl at work might reject you, but by her flirting in front of you it shows she is still trying to win your approval/attraction, and it sounds like your pouring out unhealthy affirmations for her. Move on, take a look at what it that makes you so attracted to her and work on that... she will notice the difference, but i think you will find as you take a look at what attracts you subconciously to others, you will no longer be looking for that unhealthy codependent relationship/fulfuillment.

The best adivce I can give is to fill yourself to the best of your ability, and then begin the slow process of bringing people into your life. not searching for people mind you, but letting them find you, and enjoying that incredible moment as something that will never come again. This bad time will pass be ready to appreciate the good.

First off, I'll tell you how I got over this. It's simple, but it isn't quick, nor painless.

The story is mostly for background. You can skip it if you like, but I feel the need to show that I'm not an armchair general, who's never felt it.

***

I was basically a pathetic wimp up until about this past January. I was the "nice guy" who always finished last. I could never get women interested in me-- I was too shy, too "nice" to make some sort of move. Then, the first day at summer camp, I met a girl who I connected with. I could tell she liked me. I chase her for a year and a half. Lots of reasons as to why this happened, but last December, she ignored 3 phone calls, a facebook wall post, a facebook message, and an email.

The worst part is the breath. When you're depressed, you always have that heavy breath that makes you feel like as though you're in a swamp, and you can't escape it. I was, however, a committed club swimmer. I would practice several hours a day, every day of the week except Sunday.

Swimming was an interesting experience. You're in the water for two hours, going back and forth, with only yourself as company. For the entirety of December, I bemoaned my problems in my head. I thought of every possible scenario where she would come back begging on her hands and knees, I thought of revenge, I thought of her betrayal, but mostly, I just thought of her, and the memories I had.

If you think about that, that's about 36 hours of putting myself through the suffering over and over again. The pain had dulled, finally. I was sick of it. I sought to do something about it. I came at it from the self-improvement side of it. I read quite a lot of self-improvement material, and now, I am a happier person.

***

Anyway, thanks for reading, or not reading. Basically what you need to do, Rune, is let it out. I wasn't far enough gone that I needed therapy, but I was close. You might need therapy, maybe not.

Find some activity that's your "escape". Just let your emotions ride, and when you've had enough, use it to make a game plan. Pick up a new activity and make some friends, or make some friends who enjoy your escape activity. Just focus on fun aspects with them, and have good times. Start sarging again, and if it really helps you, be a bit of a "dancing monkey". If I were you, I might try day game before you game in clubs.

You have to let go of and cleanse your emotions to move on. Then, rebuild from the bottom up.

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.

Well done, bro. You'll enjoy it. It gets easier to deal with each time, bro. And each time the more you're able to let go of these 'faulty behaviours'.
Good stuff, bro. You wanna know why? Because you're going to become one of them. (Perhaps not arrogant and cocky, but at least confident and with a hot chick )





What do you do? This is what you do; Stop wanting adoration and attention from attractive women.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to not have this desire, it's your mind, your heart, your desires. I'm simply offering a way to help you achieve that... you literally have to first; desire it. secondly; become desireless. (I don't feel I could adequately explain this concept to you, so if you can, ask some spiritual Taoist/Buddhist type about this)

Stop actively wanting(seeking) it from them, and you're more likely to recieve it.


Attention and adoration. Give it to them - UNSELFISHLY! (Wanting nothing in return from it). And they will give it back.


Lastly, I'd like to say, well done for writing this post bro! You've shown huge vulnerability and I really admire that. It makes you a much stronger person for doing so too.

Mad Love

~Finesse


P.S: ^^^This guy has no faith in anyone!

_________________
Munroe: "I kinoed the hell out of that goat"
Jav: "bashing chodes 24/7 ftw"
Slywalker: "Neg the bagel"
Slywalker: "I had a 1yr old GF when I was 19"
SS_Trunks:I asked her for an extra pen, confidently....

The girl who flirts in front of you feels no different than you do. You probably gamed her so well that she now craves attention and validation from you. Just like you once didn't know how to deal with those feelings she as well is doing the only thing that she thinks will get your attention. Making you jealous. In such a situation I take it as a shit test. She is testing your character. Let her get tired trying and when she gives up and does something that you want her to do THEN give her the attention she wants. I know it's hard. Believe me I do. I thought that having multiple women in my life would keep me from getting hurt but I have those weeks where they all flake on me at once. lol. At any given point in my life I am going through a "break up" or rejection of some sort.

I don't know what to tell you except that by living and replaying those feelings in your mind you strengthen those thought patterns for the future. By taking action and doing something about it you reinforce new idea's and thoughts.

I'll warn you now... getting good becomes addictive. However I feel like a piece of meat being used for sex so much. lol

RUNE!!!!

EVERYTHING you posted could have absolutely been written by me on this VERY day. I've been trying to talk to a lot of girls as a challenge to myself, and I see the same thing, and feel the same thing. I can't believe you even mention the girl at work going cold on you and flirting with guys in front of you - it's happening to me as well!

PM me if you're interested, but I think maybe we can come up with a plan like some of the guys suggest, and then we can hold each other accountable. Often times, we can create our own plan and such, but when the breaks go against us or when we just get tired, we don't have anyone to keep us accountable, such as a coach might in sports.

Again, PM me....and let's discuss. I am right here at the same table, in the same room, on the same platform, in the same boat with you right now, and I KNOW we can make a better life for ourselves, and I'm looking to.

Best,
Kyng

Hey man thats why a lot of us are here, bc we got fucked over for some inexperience. First just try whatever to get her out of your head, find the excape, shit find another girl. Think of being destroyed as a place where you can now build a new. Take these feeling of horribleness and put them away vow that you will no longer have these feelings that you will work your ass off to never feel this way again

_________________
Inner game is the core, outer game is just an expression of it

You can never ask for respect. If your a man you take it- Malcom X

It's very hard to see it, but what you are actually doing here is taking responsibility. Taking responsibility for action that has/had consequences.

It's very easy to go through life, blaming other people, media, society etc.etc. It's not easy blaming yourself. I want you to realize that what you did by writing this post with honesty, passion and a willingness to learn, is absolutely crucial to the re-development of your attitude towards life.

By realizing that actions are your "fault", you will begin to realize that other people's happiness, joyfulness, and attraction can also be your 'fault".

I will recommend that you take a sheet of paper, and list moments in your life were other people were happy because of you, and other moments were people were unhappy because of you.

What you write down will be important, the significance will arise when you understand the real power you have in changing your life and others.

Peace

This'll sound mean, and I might be wrong, but I'd say that you should realize those things are your fault. Maybe not your 'fault', since that word has negative connotations, but you had the ability to control all those issues in your life. And remember that you had control over your situation then, you just didn't know how to manage it. And it's the exact same way now. You think you're a dorky nerdy creep, but it's all within your own power to change that. In fact, you are the only one who can change or control your situation. No one else will ever be able to change it for you, or give you the validation you think you need.

_________________
I will never claim my suggestions to be what is purely right. These are just what they are: suggestions. If I give a suggestion to you and it sounds good, but backfires miserably, do not blame me. I can't guarantee you anything.

Mate I'm no looker so I only ever get admiration from hot women if I go and get it.

Build your life up and have fun would be my advice to you. Do things you enjoy, maybe start a gym, build up your social circle and networks. If you have a big enough network you'll find girls come to you through warm approaches which are a lot easier than cold ones.

If you were to go to the circus and sneak out behind the tents where they are getting the animals lined up and ready to go into the show you will see huge African bull elephants lined up passively waiting to be lead into the bigtop. While they are standing there waiting they will have a little leash tied around their leg with a small piece of rope tied to a fence post or something. Each elephant has the strength to snap that rope with one slight tug and not even feel it.

The reason it just stands there passively waiting is because the day it was born the trainers hooked up a thick metal shackle to it's leg and logchained it to a thick post sunk 10 feet into the ground. It was conditioned to from day one to believe that once it had some kind of tether on it's leg that it could not go anywhere and it held onto that believe into adulthood. Even now as a fully developed powerfull animal, in it's head it believes that once the leash is on it's leg he can not break free and pursue his own desires.

We all carry into our adulthood deep seated inner beliefs that tell us what we can not do. Those limitations and restrictions may have been real when we were undeveloped and weak and did not have the resources, wisdom and strength to break out of our chains but now as fully developed adults we have free-will, strength and the ability to utilize the wisdom and resources at our disposal.

Your beliefs of weakness, inability, desparation and worthlessness are your flimsy leash and rope. BREAK THEM! You are now an adult that has strength, wisdom, free will and resources. Give yourself permission to leave behind your old reality and live in your new reality that you can create for yourself today.

Rune, Dude,

Love your posts, you're obviously a very insightful intelligent bloke.

Here's my brief advice, take it or leave it
It's Catch 22 you WANT adoration and attention (we all want that) The important thing to realise is that girls (no matter how hot) want that too.

You just have to be less obvious in how much you need it.

How do you do this?

Well by genuinely being happy in your life/skin and not needing a woman to rescue you.

Girls don't want to rescue a guy, they want to be rescued

My perma-single friend from my old town is still like this and so was I, but I am making positive steps to change this.

How?

Just doing loads of other stuff for me.

Play sports, took singing lessons (always wanted to), salsa lessons, snowboarding, gym, DIY, guitar playing, holidays, buying cool clothes, bad ass haircut etc

It's a gradual process, hell I've moved to a new area and had to go solo sarging for the past three months. But have now met a couple of wings and have noticed when I'm out sarging I approach women with a different mindset

Previous mindest
"I hope she likes me, I'd really like to sleep with her"

Current mindset
"hmmm, lets see if this girl is cool or not, I'd really like to sleep with her"

Target mindset
"If this girl comes up to my standards I might think about fucking her"


Peace man, you're going to make a kick ass PUA

Scamp

i gotta say alot of your post makes sense Rune and i can relate to it.

If there is one thing that i will take away from pick up EVEN if i don't score women is the fact that you can change your life and attitude in a matter of weeks.

I'm completely exhausted from being depressed all the time.I need a change. I find alot of motivation and hope in many of the threads and topics ive stumbled across on this website. Further research into ebooks , audio books and videos has me REAL fucking stoked everytime i go out now.im ALWAYS positive and confident no matter who im meeting and i can see a major difference.im becoming a natural AMOG... not by being a cocky asshole ... but actually by the fact i am EXPLODING out my shell and stepping into this world.things can only get better from here on in

_________________
Its time for a change....a huge Mother@#$@# change!