~Finesse:
I would agree with you... except you're wrong.
You clearly don't understand how acceptance or 'internal' stuff works. If you are effected by what people say, then your inner isn't good. In fact, it's very bad.

That's not true entirely.
Believe me sometimes peoples words can make you feel horrible even if you don't usually give a damn what people say.
If you've never experienced this in your life then you live a great life, congratulations.

If you're effected by what people say, this is because you are relying on external validation.

What if someone puts down your inner self and not your looks.
For EXAMPLE: Your dad says I wish I never born and meant it.
Nothing there is external and no matter how much inner game you have you will feel absolutely horrible.
Please look at things from a different point of view.

If you are trying to 'look good' or 'get ripped' to a point of 'oh people will think this looks good', then you are a slave to others. And always will be. Because, let's say, you reach this goal, then, people start 'cutting you down with words' about your physique, if this affects you, it is because you are seeking and reliant on external validation.

You don't read do you?

again... PEOPLES' WORDS WILL ONLY AFFECT YOU IF YOU ARE DEPENDANT ON EXTERNAL

Not true read my example above.

If your inner game is good, if your self acceptance is good, if you aren't dependant on external validation. Then what people say to you, will not affect you. If it does... this is because you are dependant on external.

It can effect you even if you have accepted yourself.
Please refer to the example above.

As we can clearly see, Serj, your understanding of internal/inner game is poor, or you at least have a very bad inner game, as you've shown you are still placing importance on external factors/validation.

My understanding of all of this is just fine. Words can tear you down even if you have "perfect inner game". If you think that they can't then you sir have a poor understanding or have living an absolutely perfect life which I doubt. Notice I said they can doesn't mean it will. AND I AGREE INTERNAL FACTORS MATTER A LOT WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT....


Until you can get past relying on external validation, you are always going to be a slave to others.
Love & internal validation

Were you able to make it past the seventh grade?
Your reading comprehension is ridiculously... horrible.
You only take one part of my whole point and try to pin it against me and you ignore ever time Ive made you look retarded throughout this post.
Shit if I knew getting a point across would be this hard for you I would have put bold letters on all the times Ive said internal matters more which is what this post is originally about.
But no you saw me say gym and using it as an example and you became fucking retarded thinking this is only about external factors.
Please stop posting.
You're embarrassing yourself.
INTERNAL FACTORS MATTER MORE THAN EXTERNAL FACTORS!
Please answer the questions I asked you above in my last post because I am very curious for you to answer them.


AFC Royal:
My head is spinning. At this point, I have no clue what the hell we're discussing. I will try to distill it, however.

Same here.
I didn't think something this simple would be such a pain in the ass to get across.

One main point is comfort vs. confidence

I define comfort, in this scenario, as "the feeling of ease one has within their own skin that allows them to move about without restraint". Serj appears to say that you can become comfortable by accomplishing some goal that will improve yourself. Finesse advises acceptance.

If you are looking to be comfortable on the inside acceptance is the way to go.
If you are looking to be comfortable on the outside appearance may be your solution.

In the case of your insecurities, the only true way to "get rid" of them, is to accept them. This is the much stated, "I don't give a fuck" approach. Serj, some insecurities can be overcome by external factors, but, if, for example, you're insecure about your height, you can't really do a lot about that.

I'm a rather short guy.
You can get bigger shoes to raise your height.
There are surgeries to extend bones which is extremely painful.
There are grown hormones you can take which is also dangerous.
But that is something out of your hands. The external factors I was talking about are reasonable and achievable goals. Like weight loss, clearing up acne, etc.
But if you are insecure about your height then yes acceptance is the only way to get over that.

Eckhart Tolle gives the excellent advice, "You can do three things in a situation: you can accept the situation, improve it, or remove yourself from it". You can't remove yourself from your height, and you can't improve it, so you have to deal with it.

This right here.

Basically, my theory is that external FACTORS don't matter for shit. External ACTIONS, however, can change your internal world, which will create your new outer world.

External factors (Looks) matter to an extent, otherwise the "PUAs" wouldn't tell you to go get new clothes, haircut, etc. They just say looks don't matter to make ugly people feel comforted. While external actions (Your Game) Matter a ton.
You always have to have at least a solid base in you game. Creating a new inner world will create a new outer one. Exactly what this is about, people will see that you've changed once you accept yourself. Hence wearing your emotions whether it be courage, bravery, boldness, etc.

_________________
Sinceriously,
Serj

That is exactly external.

You're reacting to an external influence. Rofl. You're being a slave to their thoughts and words. This is because your internal is shit. lol. This is rather hilarious how you don't understand this, I hope some day you shall.

Someone tells you they wish you were dead...

Why does this matter to you? If this gets you sad, you're still dependant on external.

If you realise that no one, and no thing in this world is here to do you justice. Then shit like this won't matter to you.

There is no good/bad, but thinking makes it so.

In your given example, it's how you decide to take it (inner), if you decide to take it bad, that's your weak inner. If you take it as just being, and not being neither good or bad. This is good inner.

Because you are letting external things influence your inner, this shows us clearly that your inner game is weak, and your emotions are dependant on external... still.

It would be really beneficial to you if you could understand this.


Love

~Finesse

_________________
Munroe: "I kinoed the hell out of that goat"
Jav: "bashing chodes 24/7 ftw"
Slywalker: "Neg the bagel"
Slywalker: "I had a 1yr old GF when I was 19"
SS_Trunks:I asked her for an extra pen, confidently....

I think most of what we're discussing has been cleared up. One point left that I want to weigh in on, however.

Serj, you keep saying that words are going to hurt. If you have true inner game, it's simply not possible.

This is why I referenced "The Power of Now". If someone strikes at your ego, you will automatically resist and therefore be hurt. Someone with true "inner game", however, will not have an ego. Take your line, for example.
Ok, so who gives a shit? If you consider that you have to have parental love as part of your identity, your ego will naturally be enraged and will burn in flames. Someone with no ego, however, will say, well, sorry that you think that, and then will continue on.

There is only one thing that defines you, and that is your "Being". It is your life inside. I repeat, that is the ONLY thing that defines you. When you meditate, you will eventually find your Being. Once you know that it is there, and you remove your ego, nothing can hurt you.

Insults like, "You're adopted and your parents never loved you", "Your fashion sense is stupid", "You're too short, fuck off", then just bounce right off, considering that they're insulting something that isn't even a part of you. Remember "Fight Club", when Tyler says, "YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB"? In the same way, you are not your fashion sense, nor are you your parents child, nor are you a 'short person'. None of these things define you.

The highest insult someone could throw at you would be, "You do not exist." Then you just say, "Um, I've felt my inner life force, so you are obviously on drugs".

Anyway. The point is this: words only hurt the ego. If you rid yourself of the ego and acquire true inner game, they can't hurt you any more. Not sure if you said you read "Power of Now", but I would read/reread it just to get a clearer understanding of this.

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.

~Finesse:
That is exactly external.
You're reacting to an external influence. Rofl. You're being a slave to their thoughts and words. This is because your internal is shit. lol. This is rather hilarious how you don't understand this, I hope some day you shall.

It's coming from an external influence yes, but effects your internal.
Keep reading...

Someone tells you they wish you were dead...
Why does this matter to you? If this gets you sad, you're still dependant on external.

Not just someone. What if it were someone you were close to? Someone who you would consider a part of you almost? Someone that knows exactly what would tear you down? If they said something negative towards you and they knew exactly how to make it so it lowers your self-esteem. No matter how good your internal thoughts are. It will hurt. While you may not show it, deep down you know it.
You see this as someone who's just a random person. If that's the case then yea it's easy to blow off, but if it were someone you love. It will hurt you.
Not saying this will happen 100% of the time but on occasions there will be someone who will do it.
If you deny what I just said you have never let anyone into your life at all.
And in that case then I feel sorry for you.

If you realise that no one, and no thing in this world is here to do you justice. Then shit like this won't matter to you.
There is no good/bad, but thinking makes it so.
In your given example, it's how you decide to take it (inner), if you decide to take it bad, that's your weak inner. If you take it as just being, and not being neither good or bad. This is good inner.
Because you are letting external things influence your inner, this shows us clearly that your inner game is weak, and your emotions are dependant on external... still.
It would be really beneficial to you if you could understand this.

Some emotions you don't have control over.
If you think you always have 100% control over your emotions, then you are delusional.
While most of the time you have control over your emotions it's easy to brush something off as if it never happened but when someone close puts you down and knows exactly how to do it and you don't have control over your emotions. Your inner game will go to shit.
But that's on rare occasion that happens.
In case you didn't notice my whole message this time was inner game matters hence the first post.
Continuing...
Take the saying "I wish you were dead" and knowing it was said in a negative way.
Now tell me how you could put that in its a good or bad way lol...


AFC Royal:
I think most of what we're discussing has been cleared up. One point left that I want to weigh in on, however.
Serj, you keep saying that words are going to hurt. If you have true inner game, it's simply not possible.

To have true inner game and not being affected by loved ones harsh words requires absolute perfect inner.
No one has that, no matter how hard you try and if you think you do...
Take this into consideration "A cured student, is a lost one"

This is why I referenced "The Power of Now". If someone strikes at your ego, you will automatically resist and therefore be hurt. Someone with true "inner game", however, will not have an ego. Take your line, for example.
Quote:
Your dad says I wish I never born and meant it.
Ok, so who gives a shit? If you consider that you have to have parental love as part of your identity, your ego will naturally be enraged and will burn in flames. Someone with no ego, however, will say, well, sorry that you think that, and then will continue on.

By shutting out ones close to you is what got the majority of people here in the first place. People didn't put themselves out there because they were afraid we would get hurt. So if you want to keep getting what you've always gotten then shut people out of your life more than you already have, but if you want a relationship then learn to let people into your lives otherwise your relationship means nothing.

There is only one thing that defines you, and that is your "Being". It is your life inside. I repeat, that is the ONLY thing that defines you. When you meditate, you will eventually find your Being. Once you know that it is there, and you remove your ego, nothing can hurt you.

If you think that removing your ego will cause nothing to hurt you, then you are not allowing other people into your life. From my point of view that's no way to live life.

Insults like, "You're adopted and your parents never loved you", "Your fashion sense is stupid", "You're too short, fuck off", then just bounce right off, considering that they're insulting something that isn't even a part of you. Remember "Fight Club", when Tyler says, "YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB"? In the same way, you are not your fashion sense, nor are you your parents child, nor are you a 'short person'. None of these things define you.

Just saying define is to broad.
While your "being" defines you.
Being your parents child, a short person, job, etc. DEFINES YOUR IMAGE.
So In a way they do define you.

The highest insult someone could throw at you would be, "You do not exist." Then you just say, "Um, I've felt my inner life force, so you are obviously on drugs".
Anyway. The point is this: words only hurt the ego. If you rid yourself of the ego and acquire true inner game, they can't hurt you any more. Not sure if you said you read "Power of Now", but I would read/reread it just to get a clearer understanding of this.

First off who the fuck would say that lol.
Secondly... I don't care about mean words random people throw my way.
Those wont even come close to bothering me because I am comfortable with myself. But believe me even if you think you have strong "inner game" there will be a day were you will be put down and you will feel horrible.
Denying that is just lying to yourself.

Both Of You:
Ok, so this topic has gotten completely off track.
It started out as a way to better yourself and turned into a internal vs external debate.
You are both trying to tell me internal matters the most which I fucking agree with.
Just read the first damn post.. It's about improving inner game. (yes I know I used an example of the gym on how to do it)
I honestly didn't think giving this advice would be this fucking hard.
I'll be sure the next time I give advice to spell it out word for fucking word because it is obvious no one here can do thinking for themselves.
This post was simple, if don't like something about yourself then change it for the better.
Simple as that. Nothing more to it, nothing less.
If you want to ask a question on bettering yourself fine, I'll be more than happy to respond but don't expect me to respond again to a debate on internal vs external because I fucking agree with you both.
This debate has gone no where and has completely buried the original topic
We all have different opinions on it ,good, but I'm done giving a fuck about this debate.

_________________
Sinceriously,
Serj

Dude. You keep missing the point.

Whilst it may be 'harder' to deal with someone close to you saying such things. It only effects your inner if you let it. It's down to you how you deal with it. That is a choice we ALL have.

Your correct, if something ruins your inner, it's gonna be crazy, but... the fact is, letting things ruin your inner, is because your inner is crap. No amount of external can change that.

If you love a chick, and your inner game is shit and scared of her leaving you, no amount of external will make up for that. If your inner is good, then her leaving wont affect you bad.

It may sound pretty cold and empty to have such a mindset, but it's not. You can still love and care, just learn to receive no pain. Etc. Or at least learn how to deal with it.

Bad inner: I don't like this situation *cries*

Good inner: I don't like this situation, but oh well.

_________________
Munroe: "I kinoed the hell out of that goat"
Jav: "bashing chodes 24/7 ftw"
Slywalker: "Neg the bagel"
Slywalker: "I had a 1yr old GF when I was 19"
SS_Trunks:I asked her for an extra pen, confidently....

I've been trying, and failing, to avoid using the word "debate". Despite the harsh language, I like to try and resolve a point peacefully and so that we all have a better understanding of this.

Anyway. We agree on many points. The one point I can find that we disagree on is the attainability of this "perfect inner game", and as to whether or not its ramifications are hurtful to your life.

My answer is that: it is perfectly attainable, and it is actually awesome.

_________________
Don't hate, just dominate.