If anyone likes to talk about themself, its women. Let them talk. Let them chat all their energy away till they don't have enough left for LMR lol. Most times, I've found that women get bored listening to you talk. If you go on about yourself, even if its fairly interesting to other guys, the girl's mind is wandering off. My most successful interactions were ones that had built up an aura of mystery. Don't reveal a lot about yourself, you will go MUCH MUCH farther that way. This is why nice guys fail, they don't understand that it doesn't matter how much "comfort" you build through openness and revealing yourself, the girl can know very little about you and feel a thousand times more attracted. This is one of the most fun parts for me, once she actually says you're mysterious, you know you have her eating out of your palm.

-Simply don't talk about yourself. You can sprinkle little details and experiences here and there, but make sure they are short, that they have a point or humor to them, and that you can string another question for her to answer instead of letting the conversation taper off.

-Making statements. When I first started out, I actually did a lot of this unconsciously, and slightly drunk. Then when I started to analyze myself more, I forgot to do this. Statements are extremely powerful, especially if they are controversial (sexual, gender, women etc, not sports & abortion). Statements are fairly quick, they don't reveal a whole lot about yourself, but it will feel like you are challenging the woman to respond. Be playful, but assertive about it. Do not back down from your statement when challenged, you're setting yourself up for your own shit test and failure if you do. Try to make her justify herself first before you do, however its not that important she does first. Why else is making statements important? You can easily be mysterious by sitting there and saying absolutely nothing, but is it going to cause tension and attraction? No, you're just an AFC sitting there living in your head without the balls to take a stand on anything.

-Don't throw your doggy treats at the dog when it doesn't do any tricks. If she isn't asking you questions, she's probably not that interested. Don't throw your valuable mystery away, don't talk about yourself in an attempt to make her interested. Not only could you come off as tryhard, but she will "know you" with very little investment, and you risk being friend zoned. Even if she is asking questions, try to be brief, and try to frame the questions in a sexual way, i.e. she is trying to get to you know you, therefore she thinks something more of you. Reward their interest with answers (ioi), don't try to reward their lack of interest with your lame life story.

-Above all, be higher value. You HAVE to challenge people. I have found that I enjoy a challenge myself, don't get me wrong, I like it when girls fawn over the mystery and want to blow me after 30 minutes of interaction. Its nice for the moment, its a quick lay, but they're not somebody that is fulfilling down the line. Challenging women causes tension, do not think that challenging women will make them think that you aren't their type. Remember what I said earlier, women aren't looking for their "type", they are looking for attraction; that is in the mystery and the challenge when you put yourself at higher value. Don't be a pussy about it, you ARE higher value.


If you internalize these ideas, mix them with kino, ejection, push/pull etc, there's a good chance you will summon that elusive feeling of PUA godlyness. Do not overlook mystery as a tool, its extremely powerful in the right hands. I'm not saying I've mastered it and gotten 100 lays in 30 days, but when I've broken down all my success with women, these elements were present and worked like magic, I just wish I consciously caught onto them sooner.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

Nice post, bro. You're on the right path, but still got a few things to learn, as I'm very sure you will.


You're right, too many people talk about themself. This is because we find our lives interesting and expect others to feel the same about it.

I find the 'mysterious' thing is a by product of my genuine interest in other people. You know peoples' easiest and favourite subject to talk about is theirself? They could talk for ages, I know I could!

This 'value' thing, is a load of bullshit though, value means different things to different people. And there'll be so many people with higher 'value' than you, so why even bother playing on that level?



Again, good post, you're largely on the right track here, bro... however, I think you're still worried too much about this "pick up" bullshit. All this value, prize, etc etc. You don't seem so bad with it. But certain pick up bullshit can be a massive hindrance.


Take it easy

Love

~Finesse

_________________
Munroe: "I kinoed the hell out of that goat"
Jav: "bashing chodes 24/7 ftw"
Slywalker: "Neg the bagel"
Slywalker: "I had a 1yr old GF when I was 19"
SS_Trunks:I asked her for an extra pen, confidently....

Yeah, I'm not trying to dwell on the whole "value" idea, its more of a subtlety.



Went to a bar/club tonight with a friend, she knew a lot of people there, I did not. I knew a few from past meetups but not on any great level. Let me tell you, making statements is so powerful. Within less than 10 minutes of meeting a random HB7, she only repeated that she liked me a thousand times. Why was that? Well I playfully negged her for telling a lame joke, and then I let her know that being a fan of her favorite sports team is like being a fan of herpes. She loved it. She literally said that she loved the honesty, but really it was about the challenge. So I guess I should alter my statement about making statements lol, you CAN talk about sports, but only if you can be clever about it. I wasn't even trying to make a statement because "i need to make a statement to challenge her", it just came out naturally. I was going to #close but some douche kept coming back and pretending to be her boyfriend, I thought he was legit until I found out later. This girl knew nothing about me yet we blew past all the bullshit "pickup stages" i.e. kino almost from the jump. 99% chance we will meet again.



[Totally unrelated to thread concept]
I've recently read a lot about eye contact, specifically your thread Finesse and a few others, been trying to work on it. I will testify that I believe eye contact is godlike. Tried it for the first time seriously last night on a HB9, saw her coming from a little distance, didn't look, waited till she was about 3 meters away from our table, BOOM locked eyes for about 3-4 seconds, no words spoken, then I gave a slight "what up" nod and slowly got back into the convo I was in. An afterthought was that I don't think I really smiled, I probably should have done that, and I also don't remember if she immediately responded i.e. smile, should have taken a mental note, but it didn't matter anyway. She came to the table because she knew people who were sitting with us, but within a minute, she went across the table right in front of me and fucking opened me. Shit is so serious, I will bet the house on it. The rest of the night, this girl was close quarters and you know that feeling you get when they're always in your peripheral and you can tell they're interested, yea that feeling, it was there. The thing is, I saw this girl before at my friends house, but we didn't talk at all. I don't think we even greeted and there was less than 10 people there. If anything I was acting AFC, having a lot of ex problems. These were 2 completely different people, and its a thousand percent obvious what caused this to happen. Wanted to #close but once again some guy was hanging around who came with her, didn't want him to think I'm pulling stunts because I got it in with him earlier and he seemed like a cool guy. But I know her pretty well after last night through a few friends so I'm gonna facebook that shit and see what the deal is. As much as I preached about mystery and making statements, which are all good things to do/have, I think they're no match. Eye contact is fucking lethal.

_________________
The best PUA advice is also the best fighting advice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ijCSu87 ... rn-1r-4-HM

I seldom talk about myself. Anything you need to convey about your character or personality can be told through stories, or better yet- observed.

Verbalizing facts about yourself is just a huge turn off.

Thank you for this excellent post, I think these are really good tips, I'll be sure to memorize them.

This is also 100 % true. Everyone loves to talk about themselves, I've actually learned this in the field and even such a small thing like this has improved my game.

Also, from an woman's perspective:
I've had guys walking up to me and starting a conversation.
My first reaction was something like: "Oh, this is interesting, I wonder what he has to say".
But then he begins to talk about himself. And a little more about himself. And then some more. And it just goes on and on and on..
At that point, probably even earlier, I was just desperately trying to figure out a way to leave and get away from that guy.

Lesson of the story; NOTHING is more boring than someone going on about themselves. It's a huge turn off for women, it's such an AFC thing to do and if I have any interest to begin with, it certainly drops very quickly if the guy is constantly talking about what he ate for breakfast, his favorite sports team or what he did last weekend or some other lame stuff about himself, that, you know, I don't really care to hear.

So, like cagewalker said, you really should convey your personality by other means, such as funny stories, body language, humor etc. and definately talk about her rather than you.
I mean, even though you can of course tell a bit about yourself but C'MON keep yourself in control, you don't wanna bore the girl to death.

GREAT POST...

This brings up a point I want to add about mystery. When talking to someone your attracted it to, there are certain qualities/things in there life that you want them to have. But if they don't know that side of you and already like you, they will just assume you have it becuase they like you.

Basically the less you share, the more they can fill in the image of the hottest you that they want.

Theres is this one girl I know that I tell her nothing about my life, she even calls me 'shady' hah but we both know she wants it

_________________
Now offering 1-on-1 in person counseling in NYC. For more info, send a PM

I read this in one of the replies:
"there'll be so many people with higher 'value' than you"

I don't think this is true. I think that value is very abstract and all in the mind. Hence you influence your personal value and what it is worth to other people by manipulating the social situation to your advantage. Therefore you always have higher value, because you are always the alpha-male. If you don't think like this (i.e. manipulate yourself into believing you are the alpha-male), then it just makes it harder for yourself. I know it's a sort of prefabricated mindset, but it has helped me gain huge confidence. Only problem is when people portray it as arrogance.

From a deeper philosophical perspective, I think that each human has the same value. It just seems to people in modern day society that some people have more value than others.

I read this in one of the replies:
"there'll be so many people with higher 'value' than you"

I don't think this is true. I think that value is very abstract and all in the mind. Hence you influence your personal value and what it is worth to other people by manipulating the social situation to your advantage. Therefore you always have higher value, because you are always the alpha-male. If you don't think like this (i.e. manipulate yourself into believing you are the alpha-male), then it just makes it harder for yourself. I know it's a sort of prefabricated mindset, but it has helped me gain huge confidence. Only problem is when people portray it as arrogance.

From a deeper philosophical perspective, I think that each human has the same value. It just seems to people in modern day society that some people have more value than others.