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PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:50 am 
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Spent my lunchtime talking to two policemen...

This is because of a Dark-haired girl at the local Starbucks I've seen off and on for a few years, tried some C&F routines with, who kept disappearing for months on end somewhere as did I. She was extremely difficult to read, no obvious IOI's apart from an occassional tongue-flick when teasing me a couple of times, but did seem curious.

I did not give her a great deal of thought. She was on my daily run and the SB in question is packed out with HB's all the time in any case. She is pretty, but too young for me, clearly not too smart either and I'm not sure I wanted to go there. I spoke to a friend of hers once and asked if dark-haired girl was single, she said "yes, shall I ask her out for you" and I said "She's like half my age or something". Next time I saw DH girl she's clearly very curious, obviously been talking with the friend. I did some kino on her a few times but it is impossible to get her alone.

Next few times I see her she's in a sea of Starbucks minions. I try some hardcore C&F just to get her attention.

Anyway, must have overdone the C&F because one day after that I overheard her (she must have learn to whisper in a f***ing helicopter) telling a friend "he's obsessed with me".
OK, obviously creeping her out, from then on I just ignored her when I was in there and if she was serving just ordered politely, no eye contact, left.

But, then, a few months later she opened me again when I was giving her the cold SPAM, "Your quiet these days". To which I said "f*** off girlname", she laughed. I saw her a few times later over the next few months and hit her with some witty quip or other. She was still impossible to extract from behind the counter due to its high volume and the number of staff she was friendly with.

Anyway, last week I thought f*** it I'll send her a message on facebook. Not hard to find a Starbucks girl as all SB workers in the whole world seem to be on each other's friend lists. Was expecting a response. If she's not interested she'll just ignore it and I can forget it.

What's the WORST that could happen I thought? This was fairly innocuous "Hey, (potentially identifying text deleted), still not sure about you;" trying to keep her guessing which had got the best response out of her earlier.

OK, here's the WORST that can happen. I'm in said SB today, DH girl not there, eyeing up two HB's, one of whom is giving me the strongest IOI's I've had since third grade. Two policemen walk in and said they'd like a word. I handle this cooly, much better than I expected since I am completely and utterly mortified. They say, they've received a complaint blah blah blah. At this point I genuinely don't know who it is. They explain it is someone who received a facebook message, so then I know its dark-haired girl.

The two policemen are quite decent, though I'm surprised how intrusive their procedures are (they ask for proof of identity, address, phone number). I'm now barred from that SB. No charges obviously (what could there possibly be? Slightly flirtatious use of a social networking site?). I apologize to them for their involvement in a total non-issue. Obviously I'm not going to go anywhere near the girl ever again.

All in all this was an absolutely horrible experience. As a DLV goes this was up there with Hiroshima.

My inner game is pretty good but something like this is going to hit your confidence bad. As much as I can believe intellectually that this whole affair is brought about by some lousy application of game and a stupid immature girl, it is going to be difficult to shake this disaster out of my subconscious the next time I sarge. You begin to question yourself-am I really creepy? dangerous? how do I look to other people? I had one major blowout before but this is like a hundred times worse psychologically.

Any tricks or advice on getting rid of that stuff would be appreciated.

I guess the lessons here:

1) Be careful who you message on facebook, even girls who are stupid enough to post everything about themselves online apparently can't stand the idea of someone they don't like messaging them. Perhaps others could correct me here, but it seems like messaging somebody without their stated permission is some major breach of etiquette I wasn't aware of.

2) You can be too C&F.

3) A sarge is basically over in five minutes. If you haven't got the number by then it is probably because she doesn't fancy you and isn't going to ever.

4) Policemen have too much f***ing time on their hands.

5) Oneitis is a bitch. Although I was sarging many other girls this whole time, I let this one go on for far, far too long.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:20 am 
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Ok here we go...

First off, you gotta realize that rejections will occur over and over again until you get a grasp of this shit and they start happening less frequently.
It's just something to accept. Your case was a bit... special, yes - but why the hell are you letting this affect you?

You gotta learn to love yourself before attempting to love others. Whatever someone says or does towards you - it shouldn't affect you the least in comparison to what you think of yourself.

So twist this shit that happened and turn it into an interesting/funny story you can share with your friends.

Second of all,

there is no such thing as "too much C/F". David DeAngelo uses C/F even when he's in bed with a girl and she wants to fuck him. Even when he's in a relationship. He uses it ALL the time.

However, the key is to balance it - because there IS such a thing as too much Cocky, but not as funny. There's the difference.

You were too cocky. Too insulting. Too much of an asshole. That's why she's not your biggest fan.

All it comes down to right now is your inner game. Drop this incident and look at it from a different perspective. The way you personally see things - is the way things are going to be.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:16 am 
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Wow....what a story!
Above response i think was correct, you just scared her a bit. But she'd have to be really immature to go as far as calling the police.


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 Post subject: Thanks guys
PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:46 pm 
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Thanks guys. Needed an outside perspective on this.

So twist this shit that happened and turn it into an interesting/funny story you can share with your friends.

I think I'd struggle with that. Can you give an example? The crux of the story seems to be that I freaked out a girl so much she called the police-a major DLV, less important with friends than chicks but still important. Not sure how you can make light of this.
I know enough about NLP to try and minimize the head damage but unfortunately it is going to affect my game somewhat on a practical level. For example, I'm going to have be ultra-careful not to let this happen again or I may be in serious trouble.


Wow....what a story!
Above response i think was correct, you just scared her a bit. But she'd have to be really immature to go as far as calling the police.


That was my perspective. A simple "Don't contact me again, not into you" would have more than sufficed.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:25 am 
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What she did was ridiculous, you could definitely turn this into a good story to tell to your friends or a target. I think a good hook would be: 'Did you know I once got arrested for adding a girl on facebook?' Then tell them you met a cute barrista at Starbucks and talked to her every now and then what happened :D


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2010 2:01 am 
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I'd definitely say the girl is a crazy biotch that thinks way too highly of herself. She has some sort of superiority complex if she thinks every guy who fb's her wants to get in her pants...
And for sarging in general- I would say there IS a point where cocky funny gets to be too much. If you use a lot of C/F and aren't sure whether you're unbalanced and being too cocky, throw in the occasional sincerely nice comment to even things out. It'll confuse the heck outta girls who're beginning to think you're just a plain old arrogant jerk.


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