Hey there guys, my name is Javier and I come from México, I am 17 years old and I've been living in Belgium for 1 year now.

How can I start?? I'm not really good with introductions.

Well, the reason I came to this forums is because I have no balls when it comes to talking to girls. I've been to 3 parties, but my biggest problem is I cannot dance, so whenever I tried approaching a girl, I backed off because I coudn't dance. I don't know why but I just freeze myself and do everything except dance, so why step in and try to dance with a girl if I am not going to do it at all??

Another thing is I can't talk to girls, I do, but as a friendly way and I can't get girls to see me as a boyfriend instead of looking me as a friend. I'm good looking, well that's what alot of people have told me. I am fit, I have a six pack, well toned muscles, not skinny, I play guitar, sing and do a lot of interesting things, and I have alot of friends, I can make friends and communicate with people easily but when it comes to dancing and talking to girls I like, I back off and I can't help it.

I want to start learning how to pick up girls from this age so when I hit 18-19 years it won't be as hard, and I could atleast have some experience.
I'm also trying to build an attracting lifestyle, I have many goals, and things I want to learn to do to be an interesting guy.
I want to learn how to cook very good, to know how to dance, how to communicate with girls, I wanted to learn how to play guitar( I already know ), I started doing free running, and got pretty decent at it, I'm fit, I know how to dress, and have alot of friends, but my problem is that I don't know how to flirt, how to talk to girls and make them attracted to me. Alot of girls like me , but when they get to talk to me and know me better, I think they just end up wanting to be my friends, or is it that I dont make the move, or I take to long and they end up falling for other guys.

I need help, I want to improve my lifestyle, and I will be dedicated and very serious about this, since I've always wanted to learn how to approach girls, without thinking about the consecuences, and how not to mess up or looking like an idiot.

- Javier

Hey man, I feel like your problem is one of the easiest to fix, considering that you seem to have everything else started that you need to be an interesting guy. First of all, I highly recommend doing "The Newbie Mission", because it is an incredible exercise in breaking down the AA (approach anxiety) walls. For many people this mission can seem daunting, frustrating, and even downright frightening. But, it's a great way to eliminate the fear, because it forces you to open a large number of sets in one session; whereas if you decided to dive right into sarging it would take a long time before that anxiety disappeared. Think of it like learning guitar chords. You can either take your time and learn one chord a week, or you can plow through all the majors one week, and all the minors the next.

The second part of my reflection on your situation differs only slightly from the first. Bottom line is: You have to have the repetition in order to conquer your inability to approach and open girls. I also suggest doing what I did and just talk to people wherever you go! Whether it's the bank, grocery store, mall, etc. Any time a situation arises where there's something you COULD say to a girl, pertaining to the situation or otherwise, just say it! Smile as often as you can, make regular eye contact (not TOO much), and even if you're nervous it won't matter. Trust me bro, this worked wonders for me, because now no matter where I am or what's going on, I can comfortably talk to anyone. Even perfect 10's.

You got this man. Peace!

Thanks alot man! I've been thinking of doing this "Newbie Mission" but I want a friend to come and do it with me, more like a challenge, so we see how many girls we can approach in the end of the day, that way I won't be alone dealing with this approach anxiety lol.

Also I'm a little scared of those silent awkward pauses when I run out of questions or things to talk about, also, whenever I talk to a girl I don't know how to make her interested in me whenever we have a conversation. Sometimes I just end up being in the friendzone and I can't help it. How can I change this?

Another problem is this fear I have of going to parties because I can't dance, I just stand there and look like an idiot. I prefer staying home or going somewhere else than going to the party and not being able to dance with any girl. How can I get rid from the fear of dancing?

Well hehe I think I shouldn't be asking this kind of questions in the Introductions section.
Thanks anyways!

I'll answer these few questions, and then if you have any more, just start a new thread in a different section, and i'm sure you'll get help from tons of people.

1. Yeah I would definitely bring a friend along. I think they probably even suggest that in the mission description. It makes more sense that way anyway because chances are when you start sarging, you'll be doing it with a wing or two, or a group of guys.

2. As for the awkward silences, there are a few different things you can do. You could always do what Gambler suggests and pretend to wave to somebody else in the party/club/wherever, and then say that you've just seen your friend and are going to go speak with them for a few, and then either say that you'll be back, or say that you two should definitely continue this another time. At which point the idea is she'll volunteer her # if you've done it right. The other thing you can do is instead of backing down and letting it go, just completely cross the line and say things that most guys wouldn't dare to say unless they knew the girl very very well. I do that from time to time and it usually extracts great reactions. The girl might seem surprised that you're being so confident and ballsy, but that usually comes with a huge smile on their faces.
Say something like: "But enough with that boring talk. What's more important right now is what you would like to drink."
And that may seem cheesy, but if you switch the specifics around to match the occasion/situation, then you'll find that they tend to blush and even giggle a bit.

Eliminating fear, anxiety and awkwardness is all about breaking through the walls that are responsible for keeping things that way. Sometimes it takes overcompensation to break them.

3. As for the dancing problem, you can either A. learn a variety of dance styles (no need to master any of them, just learn the basics of each), and work on incorporating them all together so that you can improvise dance moves when dancing at a party or club.
option B. Don't worry about dancing at all! Not wanting to, or being good at, dancing can be used to your advantage. Just incorporate that into your persona! If you do it with confidence, the ladies will be attracted to that confidence regardless of if you dance or not. Being/seeming Alpha is still better than having dance moves.

Sorry for the giant reply. Hope nobody gets pissed lol.

Hey man, thanks alot for helping me out!
I'll definitely try Gambler's idea for awkward pauses and for AA I hope the Newbie mission helps me out with this. And yeah I've been dancing in my room to practice LOL
Well thanks again for taking your time answering to my questions and don't worry, long replies are the best since they are are always very detailed lol