| hahaa, ok, what the heck is going on in this brawds head? I met her 3 weeks ago, we went on 2 dates, we got down to everything except for sex at my house and she spent the night and says that she really likes me and then I get this email?!?? wtf does it mean??
let me tell you a little about whats gonig on and her. Im going to SF to start college in October and I took a 3 week vacation (which im on now) and I think she's upset because I told her I wanted to take it slow with her and not rush things as im leaving soon and am trying to figure things out as I waan't really planning to find a girlfirend before I left. As far as her, shes really pretty and works full time and goes to school full time and studies psychology (fuck i know) and I hate to say it is really witty. Shes very skeptical when it comes to guys and I had to put in a lot of work to get her to trust me. so wtf does this email mean?? reverse psychology? I donno javascript:emoticon(':?')
Oh my gosh, I totally should have warned you about the skunks....sooo scary lol. And YES I am laughing WITH you for having run away from the skunk, but very smart of you to do that, otherwise you'd probably be stuck taking a tomato bath lol. One night I was walking Ella around that dark field we were by last night....it isn't too well light over there and all of a sudden I make out three little figures on the lawn...Ella and I were walking right past them and she had started to growl. I swear I thought these little things were scary possessed lawn gnomes or something and they started moving towards me and my heart was racing and I started to run away....and a little bit closer to the light I realized they were SKUNKS and they were chasing me!!! Yikes I was so scared!!
Well David, it makes me happy that you can say you like me too:) BUT I also know that you are in a weird place right now, which is a huge part of why I have held back from being physical with you (aside from the fact that I don't like to rush into things). And I am glad you are comfortable with that (ALTHOUGH I do hope that you still WANT me in that sense and are attracted to me!!). I can tell that where you are at right now, you need to put a lot of focus on yourself, and i totally get that...which is why it makes sense that you wouldn't want to start a relationship at such an unstable point in your life.
I am very aware of timing when it comes to relationships. I personally have learned that it is NOT a good idea to start a relationship with someone who is going through big life changing events. Knowing what someone wants is very important to me in a boyfriend, because you can be with someone who is an amazing person, and they may not have any kind of ill intention, but they still hurt you BECAUSE they are a slave to their ever changing mood swings and emotions. How terrible is it to wake up one morning, where nothing has changed but the person your with has. And it really ISN'T anything to do with you, it's them. They just wake up and suddenly realize, you know what today I don't feel like being a boyfriend, or hey, I don't love you anymore, or things are different. It's just an all around sucky situation for both people....because how can you be mad at someone who doesn't even know who they are or what they want from life....if they really are a good person and have a kind heart but just no sense of self....you can only feel bad for them. And maybe sad for what you lost. So while I understand that everyone goes through changes (which I think is a really good thing, no one wants to be stuck in a rut), unless someone knows what their core values are and ultimately what they want in life (though the path by which we get there IS constantly changing), they aren't going to be any good to anybody else. How can you really love someone else, if you don't know and love yourself first?
I like where we are right now. I understand the process your going through, and think it will be neat to see what you achieve, I know you'll do great things with your life. I have fun hanging out with you, I can really truly talk to you as I would a friend PLUS I like kissing you and just being flirty. No matter where you are mentally in life, it's always nice to spend time with someone you care about. I just hope you know I'm not here to add stress to your life, if anything I hope I am someone who makes you feel better, that you can vent to when needed, and laugh with and be fun and adventurous with and deep and thoughtful with too! Discussion is endless with you and I value that sooooooooooooooo much you don't even know!
Like you said in your other email, you don't know how long we will be in each others lives. And that is true, but I'm just enjoying the time. Realistically speaking none of us know how long we have on this Earth. Now I am not the kind of girl to sit around, putting my life on hold waiting for someone. If that's what was required for me to be with someone, well to me that would mean that that particular person simply was not meant for me. I can't exactly explain this, but since I was young I have always had this vision by which I try to live my life. I always try to remember that someday I will be a little old lady and I know when that day comes, I will be so happy with my life that I could look back and see every moment of it, and know that everything that had happened in my life happened for a reason, and good or bad, I wouldn't change a thing because doing so would not lead me to where I needed to be.
I've given up a long time ago on trying to force things to happen or avoid them. I make my plans, I revise and edit as needed....but I never get my heart too set on any one outcome because as the famous saying goes "when one door closes, another opens" and I fully believe in that statement. And while I know you were caught off guard by me telling you how I felt about you, don't judge that against yourself. I have always been a very open person and have never been into playing games. Sometimes people like that, sometimes they don't. Doesn't mean I plan out how things are going to be when I meet someone I like, I still like to be relaxed and see where things go, but just know that I'll always be honest with you. You'll never have to guess about how I feel, I won't tell you one thing but mean another, and if I don't know how I feel about something, well I'll just leave it at that. I'm very direct, but it's only because I'm not afraid to be...I just know what I want in life and I don't want to waste my time or someone else's either.
Funny thing with you is, I have felt like timing has been great. When you told me you were leaving, even though I would miss having you around, I was actually SO RELIEVED. Because I was at the point in my life where I felt like I still needed some time to myself, time to catch my breath. I can't explain it, but I remember thinking how great it was that the timing worked out like that, and the truth was we both needed time to ourselves. Really this is very funny to me. What I'm trying to say is that when I met you, I wasn't really looking for or wanting anything either....but now that this "window is open" I'm just enjoying it...I'm taking my time and I like that you are taking yours.
Well I have to go, I've been sitting here typing and now I am late for meeting up with my friend!! But I hope some of what I've had to say makes sense to you.
My apologies for the long email guys but you know how girls write. Anyhow 1) what is she saying 2) whas should I do about it 3) how lol
I owe you guys lunch if you're ever up in SF. Im going to a fashion school with 940 females and 45 males, 70% of which are probably gay, so I got you. lol
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