Give her the ultimatum?



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 Post subject: Give her the ultimatum?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 8:45 pm 
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I've previously posted about this girl that I've been meeting briefly. But I'm not sure what else to do.

The girl has a bf, but going from my previous post it seems that she has shown a liking for me based on what I posted and a couple of you have replied back to me.

Anyway, her boyfriend seen a text from me on her phone. He sent me a message back saying 'piss off little fanny'! Anyway, they had an argument and when he asked her whether I met her she said no in a 'state of panic'. Anyway, she doesn't seem to mind talking openly on her social networking sites or to her boyfriend about other lads apart from me, but I'm not sure how to try to prize her away as she seems pretty attached to him too.

I don't think an ultimatum would work, however, I do think that she would actually be happier with me and I kind of think she thinks that too. But I'm not sure how to bring her around to the idea or approach it so directly. Has anyone got some sort of advice prehaps?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 10:33 pm 
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I thought I'd check your previous post you mentioned and link it here first-time-trying-met-this-girl-vt70676.html?highlight= for people to see.

From reading it before it sounded like she was definitely into you, have you had any meetings since?
I personally don't believe in ultimatums, I think that if someone said to me "do this ____ or I'm gone" I would just fuck them off out of principle. But, hey, I'm not a girl and everyone's different.
However, I firmly believe that when someone is interested in you, and all of a sudden they withdraw that attention, it makes you feel insecure. You therefore start to doubt yourself, and feel like you have to qualify and justify yourself again to that person just to 'get them back'. So, my advice would be to distance yourself from her for a little while. If she doesn't initiate any contact within a week's time then forget about her. She'll realise her mistake and come back, but in the meantime you should have fun with your life. The more time you spend wasting on a girl who isn't acknowledging you is time that could be spent on better things, my friend.

Keep me posted :)

Good Luck!




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PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 7:53 am 
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Hmm, she goes away next week though so she wouldn't be able to contact me really anyway. Should I still leave it for a bit?

I'm currently in contact with 4 other women, but this one is a bit special to me. I wouldn't really of bothered otherwise.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 2:26 pm 
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Hey man, super apologies for being away so long.

Update me on the situation and I'll do my best :).

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:33 pm 
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Nothing really happened recently.

I just laid off while she's been on holiday and she's just got back today. She's spoke to me briefly and said she was trying to contact me to wish me happy birthday and she felt really bad as her phone had broke the day she went on holiday.

I'm leaving her for a couple of days and will contact her again and give feed back, thanks.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:10 pm 
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yeh dont show tooo much interest but its a good start..lay off a little


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:35 pm 
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Sounds good man, did she initiate the conversation? That's a good sign if so.

Hope things work out well.

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:44 am 
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Sounds good man, did she initiate the conversation? That's a good sign if so.

Hope things work out well.
Yeh, she initiated it. I'm either going to send her a text today or tomorrow, maybe :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 9:45 am 
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Right, left her for a few days. She initiated contact today.

I'm going to say this now, but no doubt it will change tomorrow, but she doesn't seem to mention her boyfriend much on her facebook status' like she used to or anything. I'm not sure what the reason is but I've not asked her either because you don't bring up the boyfriend, right?

Anyway, she's struggling to get to town as she hasn't got a car. So she's just asked if I wanted to pick her up and go with her and a friend, basically using me for the use of a car.

I told her to get one of her other lads to take her, she said 'which other lads' so I basically told her 'one of the others that suck up to you which see the pretty face and aren't even bothered about what else you have going on'.

She claimed there aren't no others (this girl is a HB9/10, and there is one AFC that's constantly commenting on her status'). She clearly knows other lads like her, she said I'm different to them (although this could be bullshit to get me to take her or she could see me differently to other guys, I'm not sure if that's good or not though)

Anyway, I refused to give her a lift because I said I'm not like that and I said that I'm busy elsewhere anyway.

She was fine with it, and said she'll wait for her mum to come in to take her.

We plan on meeting up again on Monday, and possibly Tuesday too. That's the latest. But I've got to get out of this 'nice guy' thing. She must still have me in that category, I've sent her text that Tynan written in his book about trying to get out of the 'nice guy' and 'friendzone'. I do actually think I'm out of the friend zone, but not the 'nice guy' part. Any ideas? Thanks


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