there is this guy who i dated at the beginning of the year (long distance, 2hrs apart) and it didnt work out..he tried to initiate contact a month later but since certain problems/circumstances were not resolved i told him that we shouldnt meet till things are different. another 1,5 months later i contacted him, we agreed it would be great to meet up again and that i would visit him in his city after my return from holiday (a week later) and we both looked forward to it.

upon returning i gave him a call to set up a date and he said that the week wouldnt be good because he just started working (he is/was a student) and needs to get accustomed to waking up really early and working until the afternoon and needs his sleep, so the week after would be better. we agreed that he should get in touch at the end of the week (last weekend) to set up a date for the week after (this week). he didnt get in touch and i`m pissed..

my question: should i swallow this down and ignore this to show that i dont care and have other things on my mind or should i get in touch and call him out?

if i should choose to ignore it, should i mention it when he gets in touch again?

Allways let people know when they cross the line. If you're not able to do that in this phase, you will never have a happy family with him either (I presume thats what you are pursuing since youre a woman ).

Anyway. Yes, let him know. Personally I think its bull-crap to say that you need sleep and cant have a date.

Wether it is a brutal sexual explosive night that lasts until 4:30 AM or you keep talking and doing the verbal soul touching things until 4:30 AM. A man can always get up with just two hours of sleep and go to work with a smile.

Good luck.

Greetz "

Bucc.

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Just like all men should read The Game, all women should read He's Just Not That Into You.

Delete his number, don't text him, and move on. If he hits you up randomly and wants to make an effort (aka driving to you) then let him show you how much you mean to him. Anything else is just him not showing you how much you don't mean to him.

This is coming from a woman who has been there many, many times.

@zephyrine - thats true! its just that we had something going on beforehand that just didnt work out, back then he really put in a lot of effort.. and when i got in touch everything seemed to be the same way, he emphasized that he was really looking forward, so i doubt that its an issue about being into someone, there is something else going on.

i`ll be going on holiday in two weeks, i think i will get in touch beforehand just to get rid of this issue and to let him know that what he is doing is the totally wrong and disrespectfull way of dealing with the situation.

This. There isn't much point in keeping the gusy number around.

Why create unnecessary drama over this? There is no reason for it. Just walk away.

is it really drama to call someone and to ask them what went wrong and to point out that its quite disrespectful? especially if i wait another 2 weeks?

the reason why i dont want to ignore it is because i like the guy and we had a good connection and spent some time and money to see each other in the past, this is not a stranger. so to me its sad that he would pic an unneccesary behaviour instead of telling me whats going on, its a let down and i wouldnt have expected it from him and thats exactly what i will tell him. 2 months ago when he proposed to meet up i didnt bullshit around and told him that i didnt want to meet and explained why, so if there is a reason on his side this time i really dont understand why he cant bring up the honesty that i brought up back then..

does that make sense?

Your issue is really too complicated to answer on the basis of what you've given us.

Generally speaking if a guy doesn't contact you its because he doesn't want to. You make the situation much worse by confronting him. Get on with your life.

Now, this situation may be different because you didn't want to meet up before. In that situation the guy may think you don't give a shit, and downgrade the importance of your relationship as much for self-preservation as anything else. He may feel that being eager to meet up again places you in a position of control in the relationship which, ultimately, won't work for either of you.

That is only a possibility. It depends greatly on exactly what happened. I'd assume, all thing being equal, that he's just not that into you.

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you are right, there is a lot more to tell involving his ex-girlfriend with whom he has unresolved issues with and actually i think that is what is going on and he probably doesnt want to waste my time.

so yes, its clear that he isnt so much into the idea of meeting up, although he emphasized the exact opposite. i just want to know what exactly is going on, just need to know to move on, i really dont like loose ends, especially with someone i actually get along with really well.

i however know for certain that i totally am his type physically given our "past" and when i got in contact he immediately started getting flirtacious and sexual..so i cant buy into the "isnt that much into you"..

I find it ironic and funny that advice given to a girl in this situation falls into the category of "just leave him/move on", "its not worth it", "let him try and contact you" and so on

If a guy was in this position, most people would give advice like "try calling one more time", "call her in a week not to seem needy", "neg/tease her about it" etc



Considering you made an effort to get in contact with him and see him and he never got in contact with you, I would suggest leaving it.
But then again, he tried initiating contact with you too and you told him you two shouldn't meet until problems and circumstances were resolved.
Think of it like a two way street, you weren't ready to see him back then, maybe he's not ready (because of work or other commitments such as study) to see you now?

If you really like him, I'd say try one more time to get in contact, if not then yeah: just leave it.

That is because what works for one sex does not work for the other.

Yes.
I get that you are hurt and mad over this. But getting up in arms over this isn't going to help you any and will make things worse. What do you think will be accomplished by you calling him up and calling him out on this? Do you think it will fix what happen?

so i someone that i know and have some sort of history with and clearly isnt a stranger acts disprespectful its considered as drama if i want to find out whats going on 2 weeks later? i respect your opinion but i think you are wrong. if someone clearly says A but clearly acts B , what exactly should keep me from asking what is going on? i think its my good right to know..

how could it get worse? i`m not calling because i think it will change whatever reason he has not acting upon his words, i just really am very astonished and shocked to some extent and want to call him out on his behavior without blowing things out of proportion, its really on my mind and i need to have closure on this issue...so no, it wont neccesarily fix anything but it will give me my peace, its just really hard waiting another 2 weeks..