Im learning here so - sorry if this has cropped up

I have this situation with this girl, ive already discussed in another thread.

Anyways im pretty sure that she sees me as relationship material rather than like a fuck buddy. I want to fuck her I dont even need to have a relationship just a good old fuck. Im pretty sure her opinion comes from the fact that I come across like that i.e. I say I like her.

How does a guy change a girls perception/opinion that they have of them? How does a guy change that opinion from "oh he is lookin for a relationship and although I like him im not lookin for that" to "he actually is shagging loadsa girls and i want to be the one he is shagging"

Now im not one to just blurt it out and say "I went out on a date last week and, dont wanna tell you, but we slept together and did stuff". Would this line kinda work - being upfront? making her think of you havin sex and therefore changing the perception?

This is nothing to do with the situation that I find myself in at present but I think this is for future reference so I can come across as a fuck rather than seen as relationship material and therefore deterring potential suitors so to speak.

didn't get to see the other thread, so sorry if this stuff was already asked and answered already.

is this a girl you're already sleeping with? or at least dating? if not, why do you feel it's the need for a relationship that's holding you back? has she actually said that?

if you are already sleeping with her, then i'm not sure what the problem is. wait for her to bring it up. if she persists, start by telling her that you have a 3 month rule before you commit. i stole that from somebody on the forum and i like it so far.

in general, i don't feel like girls spend much time thinking about what type of relationship you want. i mean, if she likes you, she'll want to be with you. also, if a girl thinks you're relationship material, that will only help you to sleep with her. as long as you're not dishonest, i'm not sure why there would be a problem.

One thing I've noticed awakes jealousy in women is checking out other girls. I don't do it on purpose, but I've noticed that every time a girl catches me doing that, even if she's just a friend or I've just met her, she makes a mock-jealous comment, like she feels threatened.

Of course that doesn't mean you have to ogle like a pervert. Then you will just freak her out. Do it discretely and don't ignore her.

You can also send the message that, even though you don't rule out settling down with the right girl, you're not desperate to have a relation with just anyone. That way she'll feel she has to work for it. Sometimes girls ask me "How come you don't have a girlfriend?" and I answer something like "I'm not desperate to be in a relation just for the sake of it. When the right girl comes alone she'll be welcome". Which is the actual truth, but it increases my value in their eyes. Make her feel she has to compete with other girls.

I didnt want to make this another thread about my situation (cos im sure that would annoy people) and I wanted others to take value from stuff like this.

A bit of background - I aint sleeping with her and everytime i talk about stuff concerning us she brings up "why do you think i would want another relationship straight after this one". Her comment is as if to say - Although I like you I only see you as relationship material and unfortunately I dont want a relationship. she is currently in a relationship which is in the process of breaking up (her bf broke up with her last week but theyre talking about things)

What I want to do is change her viewpoint that I want a relationship (My actions may have alluded to her that I want a relationship and although I would like one I would rather bang her than have nothing)

I am sure there are many guys on here that come across as relationshipy kind of guys from a girls perspective when infact the same guys just wanna bang them.

ok are you dating her or are you just friends?

i think it's far far more likely that she just isnt attracted to you than it is that she's attracted to you but just doesn't want a relationship with you.

"why do you think i would want another relationship straight after this one" seems like a blowoff to me. do you have evidence that she's attracted to you?

ok are you dating her or are you just friends?

i think it's far far more likely that she just isnt attracted to you than it is that she's attracted to you but just doesn't want a relationship with you.

"why do you think i would want another relationship straight after this one" seems like a blowoff to me. do you have evidence that she's attracted to you?

ok are you dating her or are you just friends?

i think it's far far more likely that she just isnt attracted to you than it is that she's attracted to you but just doesn't want a relationship with you.

"why do you think i would want another relationship straight after this one" seems like a blowoff to me. do you have evidence that she's attracted to you?

I think its a blow off and we established in the thread I started that she could well be playing me. But the context is that she cares deeply for her bf/ex and it may take time for her to get over it but women have needs. I want to bang her and maybe from there develop a relationship.

Evidence - she has said that she likes me - she was the one who initiated that she liked me. I reciprocated. But there is also evidence that she isnt, as you say, attracted to me. There are so many IOIs and so many IOD in particular last friday. There is an element of oneitis, from my part, ill care to admit.

I guess im just tryin to change this image i have which portrays that I am relationship material but not someone for a fuck buddy.

ok, i probably should have just gone and read the other thread. haha sorry.

yeah, but this strikes me as something you don't need to be too concerned with for a few reasons:

1. you don't even know if you have that image.
2. even if you knew 100% for sure that you had that image, there's no reason to think that it would prevent you from getting laid if a girl already liked you.
3. if you are getting this type of thing, it's probably more that you're giving off needy and clingy vibes than you are relationship vibes, and those are the areas you need to work on instead
4. if you really wanted to squash this image once you met a particular girl, all you would have to do would be to casually mention that you don't really do relationships.


i guess what i'm saying is that there's really no reason to think a girl would want to sleep with you and then be like "oh wait, he wants a relationship and i just wanna fuck, so forget it"

as far as this particular girl goes, most likely she's just not into you. but there are other possibilities. maybe she legitimately does like you but doesnt want to rush into anything right now. your best bet is to stay in contact with her but stay out of the friend zone obviously. easier said than done, of course. good luck.